I'm so frustrated. I feel like i can't cope with life. I feel so weak and incompetent and exhausted. I've been ordering my groceries online even tho it's expensive because i can't deal with going out. Today they came and a pharmacy item i urgently needed was not delivered so i had to go out to get it which ruined the whole point of the delivery. I cried as i put on my boots and coat to go out. The bus journey and the mall were as dirty and noisy and crowded as i expected.

Then i had technical difficulties on the computer. First i couldn't join an email loop, then my new cell phone plan wants me to do some nonsense on their site, then the grocery delivery company sent me a confused email about the free delivery program i signed up for. I am just so f_ck!ng sick of the f_ck!ng computer!

I just feel so overwhelmed and helpless. I'm becoming an invalid, a shut-in. It's only going to get worse as i get older. There's no one to help me with the tasks of daily living. My eyes sting from crying. I just feel like giving up.

[sophiebunny]

I get it about the grocery store. I am grocery store resistant. All the food, all the choices, rude people, crowds all add up to PTSD for me. I was thinking about online ordering but your experience sounds like a nightmare. I'm so sorry this is so hard for you. It's hard for me too. There's got to be a way to problem solve this.

Thanks SophieBunny. It helps to know i am not alone in this. In a couple places i lived there were little groceterias on the corner but in this neighborhood its only the mall, the mall or the mall. It doesn't help that to get to the main floor i have to walk thru the bedlam that is the food court. I try and keep my eyes down as much as possible to shut out the chaos. I've tried taking a sturdy cart i have, or having the store deliver my order once i've collected it but there's still the riot of the store to contend with. The grocery delivery service has gone well twice before. It's just this time that they let me down, and let me down hard. The delivery person explained that he needed a bar code selected in the app at the time of ordering to get the exact item so at least i'll know for next time. Wish i had a butler named Jeeves i could send out for groceries!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I'm so frustrated. I feel like i can't cope with life. I feel so weak and incompetent and exhausted. I've been ordering my groceries online even tho it's expensive because i can't deal with going out. Today they came and a pharmacy item i urgently needed was not delivered so i had to go out to get it which ruined the whole point of the delivery. I cried as i put on my boots and coat to go out. The bus journey and the mall were as dirty and noisy and crowded as i expected.


Then i had technical difficulties on the computer. First i couldn't join an email loop, then my new cell phone plan wants me to do some nonsense on their site, then the grocery delivery company sent me a confused email about the free delivery program i signed up for. I am just so f_ck!ng sick of the f_ck!ng computer!


I just feel so overwhelmed and helpless. I'm becoming an invalid, a shut-in. It's only going to get worse as i get older. There's no one to help me with the tasks of daily living. My eyes sting from crying. I just feel like giving up.

Well.., I hate that life is just being so difficult to you. ‘Tis the season for so many of us.

I do think you will have to force your self out to do your shopping.

You can stop becoming a invalid and helpless. All you need to do is make some laws for your self .. like absolutely force your self out of your house numerous days a week , it’s a law for yourself.

Sometimes crying is what we all need to do just to get everything out.

Be kind to yourself but push yourself to get out and find something enjoyable to do.

Hope you soon will feel better.

[~Christina]

I have found that when I am overwhelmed when I just have to go to the store for meds or food ... I wear my sunglasses then you won’t have to make eye contact

I use mine often

@~Christina: Yes, wearing protective headwear is helpful. I do sometimes wear sunglasses. Making eye-contact is so unpleasant. Also in the nice weather i wear a giant sunhat with the brim pulled low and that helps shut out much of the crazy stimuli.

[Wander]

I agree with Christina. Reinforcing helplessness will only spiral you down. To start with push yourself a little to get out/do computer work one day of the week. Gaining mastery over that seemingly huge task will encourage you, and enable you to do more. You are stronger than you believe. I know it must feel unbearable, but start to believe in yourself. Keep us posted. It’s not going to turn around overnight, but the downward slide can stop here.
Btw I used to do my food shopping with sunglasses on while listening to an iPod. It took all I had to get through. Now I couldn’t care less what I’m wearing, or what others are doing and thinking. You will improve. Hang in there.

[bpcyclist]

Sosorry you are struggling with this, whatever. I, myself, have to go to the grocery store at the time they open. Deliver in my high-security building isn't really all that helpful, for reasons I won't get into. Anyway, our Safeway here in the city opens at 6 AM and if I go then, there are usual only 5 o 6 other people shopping at the same time. It helps a lot. Maybe you could try to go when they open and see what happens? Not sure about hours for stores where you are, but you might just consider it.