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Old 03-19-2019, 10:14 PM #1
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Default (UN) Social Media...

Do you ever have the feeling of not being welcome or still being alone even tho you have a social media account, or many, with a friend's list? Maybe I don't have the right type of friends or maybe I've outgrown the friends I have since I've quit drinking and preach mostly positivity on there. Only a few, like my boyfriend and 2 others react to my posts. I only have about 50 friends on my Facebook and they are all people I know in person. I don't add random people. I just think that's weird. I do follow a ton of pages on jewelry, gems and crystals, healthy stuff, candle making, essential oils, all kinds of things and interact with them.. and also animal pages, my owl pages (lol) and other neat stuff.. but lately I've been wondering if I should start purging these people. I send messages and it takes days to get a reply even tho I see them on and off all day.. I tag and post cute or funny things and nothing. It's almost like I don't exist. I really believe people make time for what's important to them so I do know the answer to my own questions I suppose but I feel pretty let down by even more people in my life.. and I've been sharing a lot of positive upbeat things. Good news about steps in my job hunt and sobriety. I don't speak of any of my mental health or worry or issues with my boyfriend on there. It's not the right place for it I don't think. Maybe I should just bite the Damn bullet and start unfriending. I dunno. Both choices feel like crap. Stay the same or be the change? I vote be the change..
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Old 03-19-2019, 10:22 PM #2
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Default Re: (UN) Social Media...

Best thing I ever did was get rid of social media.
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Old 03-19-2019, 10:28 PM #3
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Default Re: (UN) Social Media...

Facebook has been notorious for just showing partial amounts of “friends“ stuff.

I purged my Facebook of many people , but some I checked there page and some for whatever reason there stuff wasn’t showing on my feed.

I often share things , cute animal pics or positive stuff and many times I get not a single like or whatever , I’m just fine with it now , use to bother me.

But my page is for me , I love just pulling up my page when I’m in a lousy mood and see all the great stuff I have posted.

Sorry your dealing with social media being stressful. So many people feel that way too
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Old 03-19-2019, 10:34 PM #4
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Default Re: (UN) Social Media...

I agree the best thing I ever did was delete Facebook it started to feel toxic and honestly pretty triggering so I finally deleted it; and honestly I don't miss it at all.
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Old 03-19-2019, 10:35 PM #5
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Default Re: (UN) Social Media...

I know how you feel, Calypso. I used to have an old friend i reconnected with over social media and we would write each other over Facebook. But it go so it would take her literally WEEKS to respond. I would twist in the wind and get writers' remorse. She'd say she was too busy to reply promptly but she was on disability too so i don't know what she was so busy with. Finally i broke it off with her.


I hate that feeling of "giving more than you're getting." It sounds like that's what you're dealing with. If you're not getting a good return on your investment maybe the best thing is to stop investing. We all know, you can't change the other peoples' behavior, only our own.


Congratulations on your sobriety! That's surely something to be proud of!
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Old 03-20-2019, 06:35 AM #6
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Default Re: (UN) Social Media...

I put zero stock in anything on social media. Like you I only have "real" friends- people I've spoken with or know in real life. I dont care if anyone says anything about what I post or forgets my birthday or whatever. My real friends no better than trying to actually connect with me via facebook. I do not argue on it, never get into politics or debates. I frequently do purges. I go through my friends list and determine if there has been any interaction and if they bring joy to me. If the answer is no I delete them. I think as long as you can put it into perspective like that, social media is ok. But if you need anymore meaning than that in your life, personally I would delete it because its all about what is good for your mental health in the end.
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Old 03-20-2019, 07:56 AM #7
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Default Re: (UN) Social Media...

I agree with all of the thoughts so far expressed. Christina makes a great point that Facebook can be a great place just for you, where you post things for you and any responses are nice but not necessary. If you'd enjoy that.

I understand your frustration, though, and you're far from being alone. So many people are caught up in their own hectic lives that it's hard to even sufficiently give to themselves or their families, let alone friends. And as for your friend on disability, I confess I can hide away, too. I doubt she is deliberately unresponsive. I only have a shell of a Facebook page now and at one point got so overwhelmed with notifications that I had them auto rerouted to my spam folder. I know that sounds horrible. I don't mean harm. I only keep the shell because occasionally I do communicate with a few people I wouldn't otherwise communicate with. That is a good thing about Facebook.

I think it's great that you try to be as positive as possible. I try to be, too. I know even here positive posts sometimes get fewer responses than others. I still think they are quite important, despite.
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Old 03-20-2019, 09:01 AM #8
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Default Re: (UN) Social Media...

I try to be positive and upbeat because really, the world needs more of that. One of my friends for instance. Who I've been friends with since I was 14.. told me a couple months ago that he could no longer be friends with me cause I'm going downhill to hard, I don't help myself and I don't listen to anyone.. this is when I was about a month sober, on the list to take my Cna test and calling around looking for possible employment. Obviously that wasn't enough to satisfy. And I guess I feel jaded cause I know what he does and he's not in active recovery, doesn't help himself, makes his wife do literally everything for him.. I dunno. Maybe he doesn't like seeing me dig my way out.. I know people are busy in their own lives. But if they have time to post and comment they have a minute to reply to me too. I guess I'm just sick of never being important enough in anyone's life to make any real impact.. ugh
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Old 03-20-2019, 09:10 AM #9
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Default Re: (UN) Social Media...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Calypso2632 View Post
I try to be positive and upbeat because really, the world needs more of that. One of my friends for instance. Who I've been friends with since I was 14.. told me a couple months ago that he could no longer be friends with me cause I'm going downhill to hard, I don't help myself and I don't listen to anyone.. this is when I was about a month sober, on the list to take my Cna test and calling around looking for possible employment. Obviously that wasn't enough to satisfy. And I guess I feel jaded cause I know what he does and he's not in active recovery, doesn't help himself, makes his wife do literally everything for him.. I dunno. Maybe he doesn't like seeing me dig my way out.. I know people are busy in their own lives. But if they have time to post and comment they have a minute to reply to me too. I guess I'm just sick of never being important enough in anyone's life to make any real impact.. ugh

Your sobriety, steps forward (getting a job), and all the the ways you share here are admirable to me. You are making a real impact.
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Diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1

I started a formal diet on June 6, 2019. My progress is as follows:

Week 1: down 3.4 lbs (1.54 kg)
Week 2: TBA
--------------------------------
CURRENT BIPOLAR MEDS: Tegretol XR (1200 mg), Lamictal (100 mg), Seroquel XR (500 mg), Latuda (20 mg), Klonopin (0.5 mg)

PRNs - Seroquel IR generic (25 to 100 mg in a day), Ativan (1 mg, up to 3 mg/day)

OTHERS: Propranolol (40 mg), Synthroid (150 mcg), multi-vitamin
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Old 03-20-2019, 09:44 AM #10
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Default Re: (UN) Social Media...

Unfortunately, there is a time lag with social media. By the time someone has a moment to look at their Facebook or whatever, their lives have moved on and so has that of the person posting.
However, if you can use it when it wont be triggering and pare it down,it is a way to open up our lives to more more ideas, more creativity. I too can get way overstimulated.
I think we need to remember that Psych Central is social media. In a 40 yr stretch with bipolar 2, a very sneaky disorder, I have learned more about it from Psych Central than from how many doctors taking a stab at it in 15 minute intervals? What nonsense! Recently, my doc told me I might have adult onset ADHD which according to Psychology Today, is so rare as to be almost non existent and when I submitted a 6 page psych and medical history she said shed put it in my file. Thanks so much! So that means that many of us have to be our own doctors. WE HELP EACH OTHER HERE AND I AM REMINDED ON A DAILY BASIS HOW WISE YOU PEOPLE ARE IN HELPING EACH OTHER. Im so so grateful to all of you and to DocJohn for starting and developing PsychCentral. I met my best friend and all my friends who help keep me encouraged and balanced on social media. Great for a person who cant be overstimulated and hates large social gatherings. nolongerloney($40 caters more to direct contact for people with mi and really needs building up.KEEP GOING FOLKS!
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