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#1
I shouldn't vent here my feelings, but I am going to anyway. I've been having this nagging feeling in my pit of my stomach that I want to go back to school and get my PhD. Financially I know it's impossible for me to do right now, and possibly ever. I think I'll have to leave that dream behind. It makes me sad because even if by some miracle I did have the finances to cover it -- I couldn't guarantee my mental state will allow me to continue. I had to put my master degree on hold for a year before finishing.. with only 2 classes to go. I started my PhD two years ago, but had to drop out due to an incident. I didn't even get passed week 3 of the first course. Sometimes I feel like a failure and it's times like this that I remember when and how I have failed.
I feel inadequate as it is -- I'm not the brightest person in the world and I often do things on a whim -- but receiving my doctorate has been a dream of mine since I can remember. Education is important to me. I just don't know where to go from here . The dream is essentially dead. Last edited by Anonymous48614; Apr 06, 2019 at 04:23 PM.. |
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Anonymous41462, gina_re, Innerzone, Nammu, Unrigged64072835
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gina_re
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#2
I can relate to this. I completed my bachelors degree being unmedicated and screwed up my chances for getting a masters degree in that field. I’d love to get more education but I don’t know what to do and I don’t have the financial means to do it right now.
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Anonymous48614
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#3
I was just talking about this the other day.... I've had to leave college twice due to mental health issues . I'm very interested psychology and would like to continue my education towards that but like you I'm scared that I'll have a breakdown or something and fail. It's really inspiring to me that you have goals towards your PHD , that's awesome. I think people with mental illnesses have to push themselves pretty hard sometimes ( IMO) . If you are ever financially capable and feel you are in a good place mentally , I think you should go for it.
Better to have tried and , failed then failed to try . __________________ DX :BP1,DID ,PTSD , Eating disorder . Meds : Xanax 1mg , zoloft 150 mg , welbutrin 300 mg , topamax 150 mg , seroquel 150 mg , klonapin 0.5 mg prn |
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Anonymous48614
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Legendary
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#4
I only have an Associate's that's not even worth toilet paper now. I've tried to go back to college but can't handle the stress of schoolwork. Plus I can't even do college-level work anymore.
I don't know what I could do if I had to get a job. Nothing that would pay well enough to live on, that's for sure. |
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Anonymous48614
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Bizi is bizi
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#5
I am sorry you are discouraged.
So you have your masters degree in what? Do you work right now? I understand that you would like to have your doctorate, is it required in what you are doing? don't be so hard on yourself. (((((HUGS))))) bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Anonymous48614
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#6
I think it's great that you have a masters. I really admire that. It's hard to study when you have a major mental illness. I know you're disappointed that you couldn't get a doctorate but don't forget to be proud of all you have accomplished!
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Anonymous48614
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#7
Brentus I can relate in that after getting really mentally unwell doing my master's last year I am not not sure I will ever go for the PhD. I don't know if I can mentally or financially handle it unfortunately. Would you maybe be able to finish it part time?
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Anonymous48614
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#8
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#9
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I’d like to be a university professor and that almost always requires a doctorate. There are programs I’m really interested in, but I know I can’t afford. I lost my job (non-tenure) last year... if they had rehired me I’d have tenure. I kind of got screwed over on that one. Anyway I’ve reached out to a school and we’ll see where that goes... |
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#10
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Bizi is bizi
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#11
We have masters trained instructors at the school where hubby teaches. He is in the school of music.
And it is accredited. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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#12
I have always have wanted to go back to school and GET something, most recently it was a dream to get at least a Bachelor's in English to help with my aspiring writing career. But due to not only finances and not knowing where exactly I am going to live next year, I kinda don't want to start something and not finish.
Online classes aren't an option cause I just don't have the discipline to do it. I NEED to sit in a classroom and go somewhere to learn. __________________ Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Path to Wellness and Love |
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bizi
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bizi
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#13
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((((HUGS)))) I know you can do it! bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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#14
Thank you all who responded. I'm very happy to see I'm not alone in all of this. We all have similar experiences. Thank you for the kind words too.
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Anonymous41462, bizi
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#15
I can sort of relate to this too. I've been wanting to go back and get my masters, but I'm scared. I'm really struggling whenever I try to read so I know I won't be successful in a advanced degree program now. I hope you're able to achieve your dream someday.
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Anonymous41462, Anonymous48614, bizi
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