A weird week

I'm still having a hard time accepting it, but this week, I'm starting to believe my diagnosis. I've been so busy at work, constantly rearranging things and coming up with new ideas and frantically carrying them out; everyone around me is complimenting my hard work and good ideas, and I'm a little inflated about it, but the feeling is mostly distressing and agitated amidst periods of extremely good mood. The biggest sign for me that something is wrong is my irritation; I have one particular co-worker I don't get along with super well, but we can usually work and it's fine. I keep wanting her to say something or do something that will justify me snapping at her, making her cry, ruining her day. I'm just aware enough that this is bad to keep myself away from her for the most part. But I know it's wrong that I don't feel bad about thinking this way. I'm speeding when I drive (nothing super excessive, but speeding nonetheless), more grinny and giggly than normal, I'm rocking back and forth, picking at myself, jiggling a leg if I have to sit. Pacing when there isn't anything for me to do. Talking loudly and bringing up inappropriate topics in conversation.

This sucks. At least I think I might be starting to come down a bit now. We will see. It's been a pretty calm day at work, but it's only a little over halfway through my shift so who knows. Day 5 of this mood today.

I have an appointment with both my therapist and psychiatrist Monday. Keeping trying.

Welcome to PC!
It is world changing accepting a diagnosis like Bipolar. It certainly was for me. But it also made a lot of sense when I looked back at my life. So all at once I was deeply shocked and relieved. Well that’s my experience.

Your symptoms certainly seem Bipolar. You said you’ve been diagnosed. Are you being treated by a psychiatrist? Getting the right treatment ASAP is recommended as things can get out of hand quickly.

Keep posting. We are here to support you.

Thank you. I am seeing a psychiatrist; I actually originally saw her for severe anxiety and depression, and had been reluctant to tell her about some of my symptoms the first visit/hadn't realized that certain things I had experienced were bipolar, even when she asked about them. Just didn't seem significant, and I only had a cousin with bipolar (since digging through my family tree we have found more, would have been cool to know, lol). Now I know I had been having mixed episodes, it sounds like. She sent me home with Zoloft for my anxiety and depression the first visit and... Whoops. 25mg put me into hypomania in about 6 hours and a second dose was escalating me more. She is pretty confident of the bipolar diagnosis for now, I suppose it could change later if something else comes up.

I really like both my psychiatrist and my therapist, I got really lucky to have the first ones I saw be awesome. The poor psych is fresh out of college and is kicking herself over the Zoloft, but honestly, it sounds like it happens a lot.

It is good you have a doc and a therapist you can trust. Don't worry about what seems relevant and just share everything.

Acceptance of a lifelong diagnosis of something that is out of your control is hard. I am still coming to terms with my diagnosis as well. I hope things cool off for you and you are able to manage without the mania getting out of control. Keep us posted.

Welcome to Psych Central! It is tough to accept such a diagnosis. I was first diagnosed 19 years ago and there are times even now when I want to think the docs are wrong! I'm glad you have some good professionals. That makes all the difference in the world.

I give myself time to rest and meditate on my entire week. I also been writing everything in a journal to have a record of what I do and what needs to be done.

Friday i had a meeting with my CEO and CFO on a large scale meeting with every dept to work on a massive restructuring. I'm bipolar 1 and I can do anything if not better than everyone else in the world. Fear and low self esteem is our kryptonite. Hang in there, FYI I just bought me an BMW X5 the one with the twin turbo V8. That's what my bipolarness did for me lately.

I speed but it's done in a controlled and safe condition. Freeways, and no weaving in and out like a jackass. Time is life and we have x amount of it and that's it. So I want to get to point a to b quickly. I hate wasting my time.