Physical Check-In

My eating has not quite been on my eating plan since the loss of our pet. Now on vacation, it's even harder yet. I'll do my best not to go too overboard, but will try to get more serious again when we return home. I need to stay away from the nuts and other snack food. I've been fine at avoiding sweets, my past weakness.

I allowed myself a cheat day today because RS and I had planned to go to my favorite bbq place before I started low carb again. Bbq sauce has a lot of sugar therefore a lot of carbs. Plus I like the fried pickles and the fried onion loaf. Batter has carbs too. So I decided to let it go and just get back on track tomorrow. We are having our housewarming party tomorrow so it might be a little difficult but I’m planning to have a couple of hot dogs with no bun, a tiny bit of Mac salad and potato salad, and some fruit. I’m also drinking rum and diet cokes. Rum has very little carbs. I’m gonna have my southwestern omelette again in the morning so it’ll be good.

I had recently lost 15 pounds due to cutting out jelly beans and having a reduced appetite. I’ve noticed, though, that since we rehomed my daughter’s dog whom I adored I want to eat everything in sight! I’ve got to get a grip on this situation quickly. I’ve made an eating plan that has very clean eating principles and I’m going to start tomorrow. This madness has to stop.

I am so deeply alone ... some nights I get up in the middle of the night ... and set in the chair with the lights out.

I made a chicken Caesar salad tonight , my eyes were much bigger than my stomach , I always forget to factor in that salads take a lot of chewing so of course I will feel full faster.

I am having a very hard time. My life has been one nightmare after another, with my H's continued lying and deceit. In the meantime, I am physically very ill from all of his antics. I have had to be on extra medication in order to get any sleep. I am gaining weight on the meds, which is additionally upsetting.

I hope this nightmare ends soon. His actions are making me very ill, in every way. I find out something he is being deceitful about over and over again. He promises me he is done being deceitful; yet, he continues.

He continues to say he wants a cooperative divorce... well, he keeps doing very hostile things. It's crazy-making.

Ugggh!

Wild Coyote, I'm so sorry this is happening and continues to go downhill. Your husband is doing all he can to watch you suffer and it makes me sad to think he would dishonor you so deeply after such a long and faithful marriage. I think it shows how dark of a place he has been in for a while and you were probably his only way of balancing that darkness for years. I imagine he finds it much harder to control now that you've separated and he is taking it out on you.

I think you are amazingly strong even though your body is rebelling. You are processing so much negativity and it takes a toll. I'm sorry the meds are making you gain weight on top of everything else. That's just plain unfair.

I know it is hard, but try to remember to put things aside from time to time to focus on self care. Yoga, meditation, a relaxing bath, a healthy meal, a long walk in nature, paint your toenails, whatever. Just try to do things that are restorative since he has taken so much away from you. Nobody else is going to build you back up. Its on you, and that stinks but you have an opportunity to grow and see just how amazing you can be free of his negativity. I feel there are much brighter times on the horizon for you and you just have to hold on during this difficult period. Blessings for peace and better days to come.

Thank you, fern46, for your kind, insightful and encouraging words.

your support truly means a lot to me. I am very sorry I continue more and more upset: however, I keep discovering very mean things he is doing to me behind my back. I give him a "heads up" about everything! I even do an "expense report" and use very, very little money. He continues to do more and more to me each week. It's insane! I haven't done anything dishonorable toward him...ever.

He is trying to make life much more difficult for me each passing week.
I am not the one who has done terrible things (by most anyone's standards)!!!
He deserves "punishment," but he is punishing me... and I continue to inadvertently discover what he has been doing in a very underhanded way. It's all dishonorable, unethical and much more.

I get to where I am thinking he is done doing damage and am hoping we can meet and move on in a cooperative way, and he verbally assures me of this....all the while, he is doing even more damage.

I have wanted an amicable divorce proceeding, despite what he has done to cause a divorce. he says he wants this. However, there is nothing amicable about what he has been doing and continues to do. It's all bad enough without continuing to add insult to injury.

Thanks for sharing your insights, your concern, your encouragement. So deeply appreciated. Words fail me.

We have had a busy weekend so far, but I've been able to stick to my eating plan. I'm proud of myself for doing the work it takes to plan everything out and track all of my food. I think it is paying off. I'm also sticking with my workout plan. I do 25 minutes of intense circuit training every day and it is also working. I can see the difference in the mirror now and all of my clothes fit well again. My best friend is also training and following a much more time intensive workout plan. She's putting in over an hour each day. She looks amazing and she's seeing results faster, but I do not want to dedicate that much time to working out. Slow and steady is working for now. I'm really excited for her though. She's going through a rough patch and this is giving her something positive to focus on. It is nice to have friends along for the journey to healthier lives.

I'm not sure I'll lose as much weight this week as last week. It usually slows after the initial shock to the body. I only planned on one pound a week though, so I'll be happy if I can achieve that.

Thanks for sharing! Very inspirational!

Well I allowed myself to get too hungry today so low carb went out the window. By the time the food was ready I was starving and couldn’t stay away from the hot dog bun lol. Macaroni and potato salad too. But it was all very good and I will just get back on track tomorrow. We have a ton of leftover carb laden food so I’ll have to be careful about that but it’ll be fine. I’m looking forward to having my southwestern omelette tomorrow. RS is going to be out doing some work so I’ll probably be on my own for lunch too. I’ll get my son some McDonald’s and get a couple of double cheeseburgers. If you take off the bun two double cheeseburgers are only 440 calories and 6g carbs. Not bad.

I do not know if you have In-N-Out burger where you are, but they have bun-less double cheeseburgers, with pieces of lettuce instead of bread.

Watch your sodium levels with any fast food “ burgers” or any fast food overall. For me if I grab fast food it typically goes over recommended for the day.

I really wish food wasn’t so damn tasty

Being bipolar I, and currently depressed.

Very much have stopped eating. Have lost interest in a number of stuff. Most of time I work on the computer and on my free time I just sit in a chair. Because of this, my legs and back get sore. I sleep in shifts, and even that I am depressed, I am getting less sleep. Right now I crave anything to feel something. Anything that can be pain, or pleasure, and doing it it at a high risk.

Going to be doing a ton of walking today and it's very hot out. Bringing water with me, I don't tolerate heat well at all and don't want to pass out or something

Ate a frozen meal last night. It was "healthy."
It was the first "meal" in along time.
I am so very exhausted.

I am hoping for a med decrease soon; however, my H is causing such extreme distress, I have had to increase dosage. The distress is not ending soon, as his antics get worse as time goes on. I am very unwell.

Love to all ~

My eating has not been that great since losing my pet. As said, my vacation doesn't help. However, we've been getting lots of exercise hiking and walking. Both hubby and I are sore and by the time we go to bed we're utterly tired. These last couple of nights going out have caused me to hold off on taking my evening meds until late at night. Despite my fatigue, that still causes me difficulty falling asleep until after 1 am. Tonight we'll be back early and I will take my evening meds at my usual 7 pm. We're heading home tomorrow morning.

I researched specific benefits of many fruits and vegetables and put together a clean eating plan that I’m going to start tomorrow. I wasn’t aiming for it to be meatless but it turned out that way. It still has 30-60 grams of whey protein built in plus some dairy. I feel okay physically with some aches and stiffness here and there but I hope to feel great on this plan and lose some weight as well.

I’m going to experiment for one month and reassess at that time.

Please let me know how it goes. I have done it a few times over the years as psych Med weight has been a huge ongoing problem.

I have to be careful cutting out certain food groups or severe limitation of some can trigger my Anorexia. Last go around there was a lot of talk about possibly needing a feeding tube

I think what started it last time was I just wasn’t getting enough protein.

I hope it’s helpful for you

Just came back from the grocery store.