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Old 04-15-2019, 01:03 PM #1
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Default Being disabled and dirt poor

Here it is the 15th and I have no $. I have a full tank of gas and $20 toget me through till May 1st. Food dwindling- but the household makes too much for food stamps. If it were just me hell yeah Id be eligible! Im on disability but that's very hard to live on. For example, Ibought new tennis shoes at the beginning of April because my others were worn out and old and falling apart. But that cost $70- i could've used that for food! I do get child support but its only for my 17 year old. When he turns 18 in September, that money is gone. Now, my ids both work which is why we don't qualify for foodstamps. But it doesn't "count" for my youngest until he turns 18. At that point I'm afraid of what's going to happen. My daughter wants to move out.

All this came about because I overheard someone saying that "people on SSI should have to work". Well DUH! I'm on disability because I CAN'T work. Right now I'm in remission but that can change at the flip of a switch. I try to help my kids live a normal life- but I fear they will grow up only knowing how to live life as a poor person.

Im grumpy today, too, because I am prepping for my colonoscopy on wednesday and I hate it. This is the 3rd time since November that Ive had to do this godaweful prep- the other two got cancelled! Took all that poison for NOTHING.

Good news- my eldest is coming to join me at Tim Hortons soon.. He has the day .

Sorry for whining!
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Old 04-15-2019, 03:03 PM #2
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Default Re: Being disabled and dirt poor

The whole way income is calculated for things like SSDI, food stamps, welfare etc is crap. They havent updated the official "poverty" guidelines in like 50 years. In NJ we have the highest property taxes, highest car insurance and highest population density. I know we would qualify for something if those guidelines were updated. I also get disability and my husband works but we are hanging on to the bottom of the middle class (not that there is a middle class anymore). We have gone through some trying times though. We monitor everything we spend and we do not use credit cards. We paid our house off only because we bought it for cheap. So If I need new shoes, I stash some money in an envelope until I have enough. I shop sales and use coupons. In fact I almost never buy anything that isn't a deal or without a coupon, rewards etc. I recommend the envelop system if you are able to not dip into it. I have envelopes for groceries, things I want, things we need, etc. We are always saving for something. Currently we are remodeling and I need new tires. The tires are about 350$ and we do all the remodel work ourselves but because we buy when we have a chunk the remodel happens in stages. Right now we are saving for lumber because the room is ready to be framed. I guess what I am saying is try and prioritize and plan. Easier said then done, I know.
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Old 04-15-2019, 04:18 PM #3
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Default Re: Being disabled and dirt poor

Moose, I'm sorry you have to deal with such pressure. And I fully understand about remission. People don't understand how stress is such an extreme trigger for us. Even the thought of having to do a lot more than I am doing is sometimes destabilizing. When I try to take steps forward, I seem to inevitably get pushed backwards again.

My husband's and my financial situation has been so affected, that my husband wants us to relocate to Europe. Don't anyone get fooled. It's not a "dream" move. If I had my way, I'd live the rest of my life exactly where I am, or somewhere in the vicinity, but as sarahsweets wrote, NJ is a very expensive state to live in in many ways. We can no longer afford to live where we do. That saddens me deeply, because my family is deeply rooted in the area we live in.

My husband is a European. That's the main reason why moving there is a good idea for us. Given the high NJ property taxes and other expenses, such as the American healthcare craparola (which could potentially get even worse, depending on 2020), Europe is safer and more affordable in even more desirable areas. Though some people do just fine in my area, it's not so easy for a couple where one person is disabled. Back when I was able to work and had never been hospitalized, we did great. I was actually the bigger earner and had a bright career future, but that ended. Disaster, such as multiple hospitalizations and IOPs, and extreme household income reduction, is tough. My husband is almost 13 years older than me. His retirement savings is not enough for where we live, and I have piddly. Though he would qualify for retirement benefits (Medicare) in five years, if I lost my SSDI, I'd be up sh*ts crick without a paddle, as we say in my area. We'd be forced out eventually. We need to leave before it gets too bad. Plus, our support here is not so great. My Dad is really showing his age, and my siblings have their own issues. My husband and I have no kids. My only living blood nephew is partially disabled, too. My other nephew was, as well, plus we tragically lost him to bipolar depression two years ago. My husband has a sibling and nephews in Europe that could be a greater support to us.
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Old 04-15-2019, 04:26 PM #4
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Default Re: Being disabled and dirt poor

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, Moose72! Please don't worry about "whining" and keep venting as much as you need to and want to! These are all VERY hard things to go through! I'm so sorry, I wish I've had more advice to give to you! I completely agree with what sarahsweets and BirdDancer have already wisely said better than I ever could! I'd suggest to listen to both of them as much as you can! They always give such great advice to everyone like in this case! Please keep us updatedas much as you can and let us know how it goes ! Are there any friends or family members that may help you economically? Anyone at all? I hope things will get better soon for you and your family! Please NEVER give up HOPE! Try to HANG ON as much as you possibly CAN! We ALL care about you! We ALL love you! Feel free to vent and write as much as you need to and want to! You know we'll NEVER judge you! I PROMISE YOU THAT! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Moose72! You don't deserve to suffer AT ALL! Nobody deserves to suffer AT ALL, certainly not such an amazing, caring, kind, sweet and wonderful person LIKE YOU ARE! You're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! PLEASE ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT!
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Old 04-15-2019, 05:42 PM #5
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Default Re: Being disabled and dirt poor

Iím so sorry youíre going through this Moose. Iím still technically employed so I cant imagine what you are going through and things are much different here in Canada. Itís so easy for people to just say ďget a jobĒ but they have no idea what we go through on a daily basis. Big hugs.
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Old 04-15-2019, 10:20 PM #6
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Default Re: Being disabled and dirt poor

I donít view it as a bad thing my son growing up poor. Heíll know how to handle money, what order you pay your bills, how to reuse leftovers, that just water is fine to drink, buy a car outright and thing like that. We have two months before our ďcheapĒ insurance increases $100. Then a year later things will get really tight for us when he turns 18 and rent keeps getting spiked up. Iím worried about it.

Miguel canít work while in school unless itís work-study. Heís expected to get through college degree with little to no debt and actually have a stipend. We canít afford him to work while living with us but financial aid doesnít count as income. We required an associates before getting his high school diploma. The reason why we did that is because he needs good insurance, a living wage and flexible schedule. I would have your daughter look into community college or tech school and see if that is an option. If it would increase her income.


I'm sorry you have to deal with our broken system.
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Old 04-15-2019, 10:34 PM #7
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Default Re: Being disabled and dirt poor

Ugh. I know what you're talking about. I don't qualify for any federal assistance as to food stamps and Medicaid because I make "too much". Ha. I get $1343 a month after Medicare and Part D deductions. I have to live with family because rents are so high that I can't afford my own place, not that that's terrible because I really shouldn't live alone. But it would be nice to have the option. I have just enough money to meet my needs and pay my few bills and credit card. Funny, how I never managed my money when I had it, and now that I don't have any, I do a great job.
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Old 04-15-2019, 10:52 PM #8
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Default Re: Being disabled and dirt poor

I'm in Australia and the Disability Pension here basically keeps you so poor you cannot move up in financial status unless you get a p/t or casual job with less than 12 hours. As others have said holding down any job is incredibly difficult for those on disability as that is the reason we are on it. I had/have a casual job that enabled me to save a little. Due to the severity of my illness I haven't worked since July last year, and before that had a lot of time of due to many hospitalisations. I am amazed they didn't fire me. Right now I don't even know if they have fired me. I guess they would tell me. I am too scared to call as I always call to say I still cannot work.

The pension here is barely enough to survive on and if my car needs repairs I would be unable to fix it unless I didn't have my small amount of savings I accumulated while working. My savings are bleeding dry due to expenses like emergency Physio appointments, dental splint that treats my extremely painful TMJ, a much overdue car service, phone crashing, and well overdue dental check-up. Without my dwindling savings I could do none of these things as it is almost impossible to save more than $10 a week on disability and that is by cutting back on essentials. I am also in subsidised housing ( not fully subsidised though as I don't qualify) and have the cheapest rent I know of in my city outside the areas that are far away from my support and a bit dangerous.

Sorry for the long post. I guess I am saying that I get where you are coming from Moose. Our governments should look after the disabled better. These situations leave us basically unable to move forwards. That leaves us trapped and only exacerbates our illness.
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