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Old 04-22-2019, 06:13 PM #1
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Question Hateful thoughts about my roommate (anyone have similar stories?)

Okay guys. First off, hi again you're all so wonderful here. I hope you're having a good/decent/bearable day and taking care of yourselves.

I have been going through some pretty INTENSE mood changes (I mean from minute to minute) and can't seem to find a helpful therapist that will listen and not straight up call the hospital where they won't treat the problem.

My current roommate is not helping. We will be parting ways in several months because she's graduating, but boy every second with her in unbearable. To keep it short, I seem to be the only person that has put up living with her for three years. Most people I know straight up avoid her... and I can see why now. Her personality hasn't budged a bit. I even wrote several contracts with her stating my boundaries and she still doesn't respect them. She's insulted my work before in front of a group of other students, doesn't listen or care about others and is basically toxic.

The real problem with her is that she thinks of herself very highly and seems to take pleasure in making others suffer. BUT, when it's the other way around, she becomes sheepish and runs away and cries (quite literally).

As many of you probably also do, I live with extreme anger. Now all of it has been directed to my roommate who still doesn't listen to feedback.

Do you guys also have bad roommate stories?

Just kind of feeling alone in this situation despite friends and family understanding irl. Probably because I've been putting up with this for three years and see her every day...

Anyway, sending positive vibes to ya'll, let's leave this on a good note. I have faith that the situation will be resolved but guess I feel like a sucker for not having acted earlier as I was under the impression we were friends.
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Old 04-22-2019, 06:53 PM #2
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Default Re: Hateful thoughts about my roommate (anyone have similar stories?)

Quote:
Originally Posted by clydeblack View Post
Okay guys. First off, hi again you're all so wonderful here. I hope you're having a good/decent/bearable day and taking care of yourselves.



I have been going through some pretty INTENSE mood changes (I mean from minute to minute) and can't seem to find a helpful therapist that will listen and not straight up call the hospital where they won't treat the problem.



My current roommate is not helping. We will be parting ways in several months because she's graduating, but boy every second with her in unbearable. To keep it short, I seem to be the only person that has put up living with her for three years. Most people I know straight up avoid her... and I can see why now. Her personality hasn't budged a bit. I even wrote several contracts with her stating my boundaries and she still doesn't respect them. She's insulted my work before in front of a group of other students, doesn't listen or care about others and is basically toxic.



The real problem with her is that she thinks of herself very highly and seems to take pleasure in making others suffer. BUT, when it's the other way around, she becomes sheepish and runs away and cries (quite literally).



As many of you probably also do, I live with extreme anger. Now all of it has been directed to my roommate who still doesn't listen to feedback.



Do you guys also have bad roommate stories?



Just kind of feeling alone in this situation despite friends and family understanding irl. Probably because I've been putting up with this for three years and see her every day...



Anyway, sending positive vibes to ya'll, let's leave this on a good note. I have faith that the situation will be resolved but guess I feel like a sucker for not having acted earlier as I was under the impression we were friends.
I can't stand roommates. It really bothers me when they don't clean up after themselves. I honestly enjoyed living totally alone and not have to deal with another person. When I come home and everything is exactly the way I left it.
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Old 04-23-2019, 02:41 AM #3
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Default Re: Hateful thoughts about my roommate (anyone have similar stories?)

Quote:
Originally Posted by clydeblack View Post
Okay guys. First off, hi again you're all so wonderful here. I hope you're having a good/decent/bearable day and taking care of yourselves.

I have been going through some pretty INTENSE mood changes (I mean from minute to minute) and can't seem to find a helpful therapist that will listen and not straight up call the hospital where they won't treat the problem.

My current roommate is not helping. We will be parting ways in several months because she's graduating, but boy every second with her in unbearable. To keep it short, I seem to be the only person that has put up living with her for three years. Most people I know straight up avoid her... and I can see why now. Her personality hasn't budged a bit. I even wrote several contracts with her stating my boundaries and she still doesn't respect them. She's insulted my work before in front of a group of other students, doesn't listen or care about others and is basically toxic.

The real problem with her is that she thinks of herself very highly and seems to take pleasure in making others suffer. BUT, when it's the other way around, she becomes sheepish and runs away and cries (quite literally).

As many of you probably also do, I live with extreme anger. Now all of it has been directed to my roommate who still doesn't listen to feedback.

Do you guys also have bad roommate stories?

Just kind of feeling alone in this situation despite friends and family understanding irl. Probably because I've been putting up with this for three years and see her every day...

Anyway, sending positive vibes to ya'll, let's leave this on a good note. I have faith that the situation will be resolved but guess I feel like a sucker for not having acted earlier as I was under the impression we were friends.
I am so sorry you are going through this and I am glad you will be done with her soon. The only roommate issue I have is when I was in college and her name was Melissa. Melissa was 18 like me and dated a 25 year old guy and they always fought. When they were not fighting on the phone he was in the room fighting there. She smoked (I did too) but she smoked in our dorm room like a chimney(I do not believe in smoking indoors, especially in the bedroom) and all my stuff smelled. One time we went to a frat party and she got so drunk she passed out in the entranceway to the dorm and I called security. Now, people are dying from alcohol poisoning and wouldnt blink at doing that but back in the 90's I guess people were scared of getting in trouble. They took her away in the ambulance and her mother had the nerve to yell at me for calling. She didn't even get in trouble but I didnt want her to die. Thankfully I had a bf that I stayed with a lot so I avoided her. Her mom tried to screw me for the phone bill as well.
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Old 04-23-2019, 07:37 AM #4
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Default Re: Hateful thoughts about my roommate (anyone have similar stories?)

That is lucky you at least see a parting date ahead. Perhaps just key your eye on the prize day. If she pissed me off in interim, I'd say to her "X number of days and counting!" I'm sorry you've had to bear that stress. You've surely got many more important things to have to deal with.

The roommate they paired me with in my freshman year was just like the girls that were nasty in highschool. The first day moving in, both she and her mother were rude to not only me, but my mother. That especially pissed me off. I didn't like my mother treated rudely. I could stand that even less. That roommate was a princess in the bad sense. I remember her making a mess of the floor, but even extending into my part of the room. I had to kick her junk to her side. The straw that broke the camal's back was when she came into the room in the middle of the night with some stranger guy and started having sex with him only 5 feet from me. I almost immediately left the room (after screaming and cursing at her) and slept on the sofa in the dorm common room. Luckily, a roommate of friend in the dorm moved out so I moved into that friend's dorm room. I still had to see the "princess" in the dorm, though, but we ignored each other.
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Old 04-23-2019, 11:00 AM #5
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Default Re: Hateful thoughts about my roommate (anyone have similar stories?)

I hate living with people! Except for my boyfriend. But in a college situation I loathe it. I only lived at the dorm at my second college for one semester. Then I had to move out. And it wasn’t even that my roommate was particularly bad. She was a little attached to her mom but nothing terrible. But I hated not having privacy. I especially hated having to share the floor bathroom/shower. There was at least one time where I was late to class because there were no showers open. So annoying!

I agree with bird dancer, keep your eye on the prize! Only x more days left!
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Old 04-23-2019, 12:12 PM #6
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Default Re: Hateful thoughts about my roommate (anyone have similar stories?)

Sorry you are in this situation, clydeblack. It's no fun. I adore my current roommate, but a couple places ago?... It started out ok, but the end was ugly. AND I worked with her. Yeah. That got super ugly too. I'd just go out to my car (had one then) and would just scream my brains out and throw things in the car. She'd go out of her way to be a real *******. Mess with my stuff on my days off, blow dirt on me (yeah, really), ruin things, etc. The boss knew, and was sympathetic, but didn't act. Finally she got another job. The only consolation is that we really "won" when all was said and done. We blew the whistle on their illegal sublet (which I didn't know moving in, but came to find out), taking away 1/2 the money for her rent. And no way to recoupe.

I'm very easy-going, but don't be an ******* to me, because I can play that game too. IOW, don't mess with me. She'd have me so upset sometimes I'd even envision causing great physical harm. Yeah, I didn't admit it, (or do it!), but it was there.

You have my sympathy. I agree with the others. Focus on the get-out date. Meanwhile maybe try to get out of the house and do some fun stuff?
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Hateful thoughts about my roommate (anyone have similar stories?)
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Old 04-23-2019, 09:17 PM #7
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Default Re: Hateful thoughts about my roommate (anyone have similar stories?)

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Originally Posted by Innerzone View Post
Sorry you are in this situation, clydeblack. It's no fun. I adore my current roommate, but a couple places ago?... It started out ok, but the end was ugly. AND I worked with her. Yeah. That got super ugly too. I'd just go out to my car (had one then) and would just scream my brains out and throw things in the car. She'd go out of her way to be a real *******. Mess with my stuff on my days off, blow dirt on me (yeah, really), ruin things, etc. The boss knew, and was sympathetic, but didn't act. Finally she got another job. The only consolation is that we really "won" when all was said and done. We blew the whistle on their illegal sublet (which I didn't know moving in, but came to find out), taking away 1/2 the money for her rent. And no way to recoupe.

I'm very easy-going, but don't be an ******* to me, because I can play that game too. IOW, don't mess with me. She'd have me so upset sometimes I'd even envision causing great physical harm. Yeah, I didn't admit it, (or do it!), but it was there.

You have my sympathy. I agree with the others. Focus on the get-out date. Meanwhile maybe try to get out of the house and do some fun stuff?
Oh my gosh that all sounds so awful. Glad you're in a better living space now!! Thanks for sharing.

Yeah, I spend a lot of time at school and the lab/studios (when I can get my depressed brain to move), so I'm not home often. Phew!
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