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Default May 20, 2019 at 11:58 AM
  #321
I finally got the car I inherited at my dad's death put on insurance. It was scary because I had to talk to someone on the phone. One of my anxieties.

Later today I'm driving an hour to see my pdoc since she has to verify I'm lucid enough to consent to ECT.

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Default May 20, 2019 at 03:02 PM
  #322
Been off for a few days..**** this ****!!

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Default May 20, 2019 at 03:29 PM
  #323
Just got a notice that my Part D premiums haven't been taken from my social security check all year even though I called to confirm that they would be and was assured all was in order back in January or February. So I owe a lot money.


I also have a tooth hurting pretty badly that I have a feeling will need a root canal since it's been a trouble maker for the last year. I already used up my dental benefits for the year so that will be expensive too. And I need money to get some things before vacation next month. Very stressed and this mixed episode, fairly mild though it may be, is not helping.

Sorry for complaining. I'm not in a good mood at all.

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Default May 20, 2019 at 05:58 PM
  #324
I haven't checked in in a while. Mainly because there hasn't been anything worth saying. I think the latuda is working. I've been feeling ok. Today was good and I made the calls that I needed to, but after cooking dinner, that feeling of doom and gloom returned. I'm such a loser. I can't even get a job! What is wrong with me?! I'm so sick of these yo yo feelings. Ok one day, down the next..
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Default May 20, 2019 at 06:10 PM
  #325
Still really low and not sleeping well. Seeing pnurse tomorrow for an AD I hope. Not bad enough for IP, and hoping it stays that way. With 6-8 weeks until therapeutic dose, though, there’s that chance. I was telling T that I’m not actively SI, but I just want all the pain to stop. We joked about being worn out, but he’s increasing my visits to two weeks until I’m through this.

Dietician appt was actually a screening for other groups and introduced stuff I already knew. Will see how it goes from there.

Feel like a semi hit me and has been dragging me down the freeway for about a month now.

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Default May 20, 2019 at 06:18 PM
  #326
I went out to lunch with a friend today. Fun conversation. I also uploaded about 10 new pix to flickr. (See sig.) It takes a lot of brain power as I have to remember what I'm doing from one moment to the next. I managed to remember to get my meds from the pharmacy today. I also sat at Starbucks (a different one) from about 7:15 to 11:00, in one of the "comfy chairs" next to an outlet. Oh! And the friend I ate with said I seem better now that Ive been on increased Seroquel and Haldol. Cooler temps today- 55ish. Oh yeah- spent 4 hours at sb and then 2.5 hours at lunch. Fun- and glad I got some pix uploaded but I need to straighten up around here. Right now I'm watching "Street Food" on Netflix.

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Default May 20, 2019 at 07:58 PM
  #327
It was a hot one today! 90 degrees, and tomorrow it’s back down to seventy. We were at the new house for about an hour and there is no air conditioning yet so that was fun lol. RS’s parents bought us a ton of stuff for our house including a dining table. I’m so grateful for them. They are such great people. We bought furniture yesterday so all we really need is basic pantry staples. RS’s parents are going to buy that too. So I don’t have to run up my target card lol.

I’m supposed to go to therapy tomorrow but she’s going to ask me what I want to focus on and I have no idea. Everything is going so well for me that I really don’t have anything to talk about. I’m trying to think of something to talk about but nothing is coming to mind. I’m not even that anxious about school. It’s going pretty well so far. So yeah I don’t know. Maybe I should reduce my sessions to every two weeks instead of weekly. Maybe that will help.

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Default May 20, 2019 at 08:15 PM
  #328
I called the therapist and they said no one takes my insurance. My husband is calling tomorrow or we're driving in we want to get my son's neurological testing there instead of an hour away.I made it through shopping.

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Default May 20, 2019 at 09:13 PM
  #329
Saw my GP and she gave me antacids for my stomach. They seem to be helping as I can finally eat small amounts. In a month I am seeing her and a nurse to set up a care plan and also to help with my hip as I can no longer afford Physio therapy. I should be able to then get 6 free sessions through my disability card.

As my stomach has been in extreme pain all I could do was rest. I’m getting bored and losing weight. Feel weak too. Still no sign of Bipolar. I’m thrilled about that. See my T tomorrow. We are continuing with talking around my trauma. I think my symptoms come from me feeling extremely terrified and trapped. This comes from past traumas. Just not sure how to work through this and be free. Those feelings debilitate me massively every day. Hopefully work with my T will set me free and get rid of my physical symptoms too.

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Default May 21, 2019 at 07:47 AM
  #330
Does anyone (probably middle-aged and older) remember the witch in Looney Tunes that when angry or excited would have her hair go nuts with bobby pins flying out? I'm not excited or angry, but my hair is going nuts. I am finally getting it cut today. Long overdue! Yesterday, I pruned my lilac bush and dead flowers even got caught in my hair. It made it itch. I will wash it superficially before I go to the salon.

It's a much milder day today. I'm glad. I can't stand hot and humid days.

I have my therapy after my haircut. I'm inspired by the idea stated above to sit in a comfy chair at a cafe. Maybe I'll do that after therapy.

Just washed my hair.

Last edited by Anonymous46341; May 21, 2019 at 10:13 AM..
 
 
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Default May 21, 2019 at 10:00 AM
  #331
I remember the loony tunes you are talking about. Ha ha. Yes, sitting in a cafe sounds good.

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Default May 21, 2019 at 10:24 AM
  #332
Well, it looks like my experiment with Modafinil is over - it's not effective for me. My pdoc and I talked about it and it's just not getting me out of my depression and it has side effects at the higher doses I need for it to make a difference.

So we're moving back to Wellbutrin (Bupropion) XL. My pdoc feels that the Latuda will protect me from going manic on it again. I was on this about 10 years ago and it made me manic but I wasn't on anything else at the time, so now she feels the Latuda might help. She's also starting me on just 150mg - I was on 450mg before.

I just want a few better months for a better summer - keeping my fingers crossed that it works this time.

And even if it doesn't work out and kicks me back into mania, at least it will be a change from 18 months of depression (kidding - I know mania is bad).

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Default May 21, 2019 at 04:36 PM
  #333
I saw a PA today and he ordered X-rays to see what is going on with my back. He said no ibuprofen because my kidneys are functioning at the low end of the scale. Unfortunately, that’s what works for me painwise but I will diligently stay away from it. I didn’t think to ask why my kidneys would be functioning on the low side - psychotropics? This concerns me.

Less than 2 weeks until vacation! The first week it will just be me, my daughter and her boyfriend. It will be nice to take a break from caregiving for pets and humans alike. It will be heavenly getting a good night sleep without getting up between 2-5 am. Looking forward to sitting in the surf and reading some James Patterson.

My sister is bringing my mom down the second week. It will be an awakening for her. There are three of us kids but I’ve been the caregiver so I’m not sure she knows how involved it can get.

Feeling a little blue today for a few reasons. Hopefully, it will pass soon.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.
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Default May 21, 2019 at 04:50 PM
  #334
Hey there!😊

I think of you daily. I hope you enjoy the break!


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Heart May 21, 2019 at 04:57 PM
  #335
. Hello to all!

Still missing each of you.

Still dealing with a lot of stress. Trying to cope, as we all do.

Much love and appreciation to each of you!


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Default May 21, 2019 at 05:01 PM
  #336
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Coyote View Post
Hey there!😊

I think of you daily. I hope you enjoy the break!

Thank you! I think of you daily as well. So glad to hear from you. Sending big hugs.
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Default May 21, 2019 at 05:32 PM
  #337
Just got off the phone with the cat nuclear medicine clinic, so our wee girl is all booked in. Going to be rough her being away from us for a whole week, rough on her, rough on us. Harder for her, of course because she won't know what's going on and why we've left her in this strange place so far from home.

I'm wondering if my seroquel dose is too high. I'm sleeping 9 hours a night often, and despite getting out of bed at 7:30, it seems to be closer to 10 or 10:30 before I can really get myself in gear. I think the med is dragging me down a bit too much, I'm able to drink strong tea in the afternoon and still sleep that night - that's very unusual for me.

I did tackle the kitchen and managed 3 loads of laundry and bunged something in the crock pot for dinner. I even managed to have a shower and wash my hair. I hacked away at my hair with a pair of scissors, trying to get rid of some of the bulk. It only looks passable if I take a straightening iron to it, but I just don't have the energy or patience for that most days, and I've just been scraping it back into a sad little pony tail and using a barrette to hold back the floppy part that is too short for the pony tail. I was hoping to achieve something that I could scrunch some product into
and allow to dry and it would look okay. My hair is part way dry now and I really don't think I achieved my objective- it's still quite puffball and wild. Ah well, I may go at it again later in the week, or probably just return to pulling it back into a pony again. Meh, whatever, it's only hair. I cannot afford a hair cut right now, not even at the cheap as chips walk in place. At least I didn't cut it too short, which always a risk, so there's that.

I did de-hair my face, and give my woolly-bear caterpillar brows a trim also. So I think I'm acceptable for public viewing.
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Default May 21, 2019 at 07:21 PM
  #338
Well I am doing decently. My hormones seem out of whack and I am possibly having some joint flare ups (trouble walking today). My brain does not feel as off as I would expect given the hormones. I kind of wonder sometimes if some of my mental symptoms are related to inflammation. I get a flare up of joint pain and fatigue with my hormones, plus the mental issues, and I have heard of some possible relationship between inflammation and PMDD. Just makes me think is all, considering my symptoms seem to have improved since starting this NSAID, could be a coincidence though.

I had acupuncture today which I am hoping with help with the joint issues. Also scheduled a physical therapy appointment for a couple of weeks from now. I am kind of excited as it has been many years since I tried it and maybe they will be able to help somehow.

Having kind of a hard time getting motivated at work and feeling a bit flat, but able to occasionally have a good time so not too deep into depression. On reflection to this time last year I have to say I am pretty pleased with the progress even if it has been ups and downs. I just generally feel as though my brain is calmer and healthier.
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Default May 21, 2019 at 09:25 PM
  #339
Trying to kill a migraine with Tylenol since Im outta Sumatriptan. Just went to the pharmacy yesterday, too. Been watching Wanda Sykes- funny. Had to go get N3 from work. He has 3 days left of exams/school! Wow.

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Default May 21, 2019 at 10:18 PM
  #340
Interesting day.

Yesterday, I got an email offer for a second interview, but was hesitant about the job itself (working in lots of different locations, rather far-flung for transit riding) and had on my to-do list to respond today.

As I was laying in bed thinking about this, the phone rang. Even though it wasn't a familiar number, I picked up. It was from a previous job I'd gotten beat out on. The person they hired took a professional job, so I'm up! I'm going to take it, though I said I'd talk to my current job to work out the time frame (I'd like to leave NOW, lol, but that wouldn't be nice to my co-worker who's about to go on vacation).

Got some stuff done, laundry, framed a couple pictures, took a shower, actually cooked both lunch and dinner, etc. Trying to eat a bit healthier.

I realized that I didn't mention the conjunctivitis finally went away (yea!). But the bruising from the sidewalk fall looks worse each day, but hopefully will clear up soon.

Mood-wise, things have been ok.

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