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Default May 24, 2019 at 04:25 PM
  #381
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Been a rough week. Been rough for awhile. I'm still around, that's a plus I guess.

I'm happy you checked in, Brentus. When I saw your post I realized I haven't seen you around as much lately. I'm glad that you are still around.
 
 
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Default May 24, 2019 at 04:51 PM
  #382
We are home. N3 had a friend over to go to "putterz" mini golf. She's here. All day, Ive thought it was about 2 hours later than it really is. Odd.

Flickr is down again. If my 4,000 photos get deleted I swear.... That's why I put them up!

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Last edited by Moose72; May 24, 2019 at 05:09 PM..
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Default May 24, 2019 at 11:59 PM
  #383
I'm feeling bored. I dont feel this way often. Worse ways to feel for sure but making me nervous that shits gonna hit the fan

Hugs to all Bipolar Check-in Thread #34

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Default May 25, 2019 at 04:27 AM
  #384
I tried Zoloft for the first time last night. I didn’t sleep well. I went to bed around 8:30pm and woke up at 2:30am, so... 6 hours. That’s in contrast to the 10-11 hours I’ve been getting.

Otherwise, doing alright. Much better than yesterday night when I wanted to die. I’m hoping that feeling doesn’t come back, but I’m doubtful, as I started off ok yesterday too, but ended up wanting to die by bedtime.
 
 
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Default May 25, 2019 at 06:47 PM
  #385
I went for a bike ride. It always feels good to be on the bike, even when I have a hard time motivating myself to go out.

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Default May 25, 2019 at 07:52 PM
  #386
I’m meeting my daughter’s boyfriend (they are serious) Thursday and I am apprehensive. We’re going together to Florida for a week and it’s a long 6 hour drive down and back. He insists on meeting me beforehand and getting to know me and my life story a little better. Yikes! I mean, I’m not exactly your typical parent. On top of that I’m very shy.

When people ask me what I do, I say I’m a retired CPA (which is true) or that I’m under a doctor’s care. But getting to know my life story? Not a chance. I’d hate for my problems to reflect badly on my daughter although I’ve never been more stable.

The whole thing just makes me want to crawl under a rock and hide.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.
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Default May 25, 2019 at 07:58 PM
  #387
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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
The whole thing just makes me want to crawl under a rock and hide.
I can totally relate. I wish you courage and strength. I expect it will go better than you anticipate. If he's proactively asking to meet with you it means he's interested in you as a person. I would be willing to bet he will turn out to be a relatively good listener and genuinely care.

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Default May 25, 2019 at 08:07 PM
  #388
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I can totally relate. I wish you courage and strength. I expect it will go better than you anticipate. If he's proactively asking to meet with you it means he's interested in you as a person. I would be willing to bet he will turn out to be a relatively good listener and genuinely care.
Thank you for your response. That makes me feel so much better. I bet you are exactly right.
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Default May 25, 2019 at 08:24 PM
  #389
Kind of busy day. Hubby and I did a lot of planting today. Flowers and herbs. I first weeded. Then later we went to the grocery store, where we also bought even more flowers, including a hibiscus. I love flowers! Tomorrow the new deck furniture is coming.

I bought good stuff for a BBQ this weekend. Beef kabob ingredients and fresh corn on the cob. The corn was only 19 cents each. Tomorrow or Monday will be the first day we go to the swim hole for the season. My husband LOVES that place. It's beautiful!
 
 
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Default May 25, 2019 at 09:06 PM
  #390
My physical health is still poor. Yesterday morning I began weeping out of grief and frustration. I am sure most of my physical woes are due to the stress and trauma I have experienced all my life. After crying I pulled myself together and decided to keep on fighting. I know what I am up against but not sure how to tackle it. If I can heal my PTSD then I feel my physical health will get better and I will get less Bipolar episodes. It is not that simple but that is the gist of it. Being so immobile, feeling very ill and dealing with PTSD is wearing on me but I have hope.

Today I feel calm. Not much to report except that my sister picked me up and took me to her place for a bit which was nice. Other than that I have been sleeping, reading and watching TV. I did manage a short walk as being so still all the time can't be good for me. It hurt my hip but I need to keep as mobile as possible. My sleep has gone down from 20 hours a day to about 16 and I feel more alert when awake. My stomach isn't in agony after a simple breakfast and digesting my meds so thats a plus too. I am determined to get back to my normal physical health and keep the Bipolar monster at bay.

Hope you are all doing ok. Hugs to those who need one.

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Heart May 25, 2019 at 09:16 PM
  #391
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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
Thank you for your response. That makes me feel so much better. I bet you are exactly right.

You are always kind to me jenn. I am sure he sill see you as the same.
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Default May 25, 2019 at 09:38 PM
  #392
Grief is so weird. I've been much better lately but yesterday I cooked meatloaf. I make a very good meatloaf and my father liked it. And now I'm sad that in 20 years I never once made him a favorite dish. It is because I was staying safe but I know it would have made him happy. Actually my therapist would say I don't know it would make him happy. In theory it would have. But it would have added a lot of misery to my life to do such things. It's just bizarre what goes through my mind.

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Default May 26, 2019 at 01:35 AM
  #393
I can't seem to sleep tonight. I have noticed that I have more energy since starting this prescription NSAID and almost feel it's affecting my sleep. Could be a coincidence, could be that it's helping pain, it feels like more though. Like it's a stimulant, but that's not the case with NSAIDs. So, I am confused. I know this sounds strange. I don't know what it is with me and meds.

Went kayaking and grilled with a friend today. All in all a good day.
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Default May 26, 2019 at 07:35 AM
  #394
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Grief is so weird. I've been much better lately but yesterday I cooked meatloaf. I make a very good meatloaf and my father liked it. And now I'm sad that in 20 years I never once made him a favorite dish. It is because I was staying safe but I know it would have made him happy. Actually my therapist would say I don't know it would make him happy. In theory it would have. But it would have added a lot of misery to my life to do such things. It's just bizarre what goes through my mind.
Do you know what I think your dad would be happy about? That you made something nice and thought about him lovingly. Please savor the meatloaf. I agree that meatloaf is extremely yummy.

My mom particularly liked a dish called "Veal Scallopini Gorgonzola". She also loved "Fettuccine Asparagus" and was a major cheese enthusiast, except Limburger.
 
 
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Default May 26, 2019 at 08:30 AM
  #395
I just dropped off my son at the airport. He came for a surprise visit and ended up staying 2 weeks. I'm glad to have had the time with him with the rest of the family too.

I'm 5 days into taking bupropion and maybe it's my imagination but I feel my body pains are reducing.

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Default May 26, 2019 at 10:41 AM
  #396
So last night I went to bed planning to read a chapter or two ...next thing I know it’s 930am Ha!

Yes this Authors book series is just that damn good ~

Nothing better than getting sucked into another world and feel no need to sleep or eat !

Randolph LaLonde is one of my favorite people in the world and we have spoke often.

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Default May 26, 2019 at 01:34 PM
  #397
Last week was rough. Saw my pnurse—she gave the Viibryd back and added a small dose of Seroquel for sleep. I need to do an EKG before I can exercise to see if the QT prolongation returned. I had to stop the meds my doc put me on because Celebrex gave me terrible heartburn and my blood pressure is going down without the other med. I seem to be sleeping better with the Seroquel and extra Trileptal, and Viibryd is helping with the depression.

Now that I’m finally feeling better I’ve been working my butt off this weekend. Housework and projects have been the order of the day for a while now. I finished a dress I was going to have done the beginning of the month. It turned out nice. Can’t remember what else I did, but it was a lot, lol.

Love to all of you. If you’re celebrating a holiday this weekend have fun but be safe.
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Default May 26, 2019 at 07:07 PM
  #398
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You are always kind to me jenn. I am sure he sill see you as the same.
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Default May 26, 2019 at 08:14 PM
  #399
I hope everyone is having a lovely Holiday Weekend. I am doing and feeling pretty great. This Trintellix is awesome; I am wondering how I made it this long without knowing about it or trying about it before now. My parents have noticed a big difference since I've been on it; my father says I seem to be more clear and happy; my Uncle said something also similar when I went to visit my nieces to congratulate them on getting several awards on awards day for school. M's mother also noticed that I seem to be doing a lot better with this medication.

I never had much of an issue with Seroquel but I can tell that while it helped; it did not do nearly the things Trintellix is doing for my depression. I mean I was working and functioning on the Seroquel; but with Trintellix it's like a whole new level of functioning and happiness at least for me.

I had a pretty good day today Sunday School and then Church. Out to lunch with M's parents; so usual Sunday at least.

Tomorrow we will be hanging out with my family for Memorial Day and I will be enjoying my three day weekend before returning to work and getting a bunch of new people acclimated to the clinic.

Hugs to everyone

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Default May 26, 2019 at 10:45 PM
  #400
I just ordered a bathing suit for my upcoming vacation. I hate doing such things; nothing ever fits right. I have hopes for this suit but realistically I should have ordered more styles. I just couldn't find anything else I liked. And I shouldn't be too picky as my suit is covered by my SPF long sleeve shirt. Plus I'm going somewhere that my med induced heat sensitivity will probably keep me from being out in the pool or beach as much as I might want to be. Hopefully there's a nice breeze that lets me outside. I can't believe vacation is only a month away. We've been talking about this trip for years and it is finally happening.

My mood seems to be leveling out after a mixed episode the last few weeks. I hope it stays balanced. I am in my high risk period for mania from now until late August.

I need to straighten up a few things before my brother is here tomorrow. I also have to medicate my cat who hopefully has fallen sound asleep and won't catch me sneaking up on him .

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