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Legendary Wise Elder
Blue_Bird
is ready for recovery!
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,661
(SuperPoster!)
14.3k hugs
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#801
I spent the day hanging out with my friend, had so much fun. It's been like 3 or more months since I've hung out with anybody
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle. -St. Francis of Assisi
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Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, fern46, lightly toasted, Moose72, MsSunflower, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wander, Wild Coyote
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Innerzone, Wild Coyote
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Silver Swan
Moose72
has no updates.
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,417
(SuperPoster!)
2,512 hugs
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#802
I'm watching Dr. Katz. I wish I had more seasons on DVD.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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lightly toasted, Wild Coyote
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Wise Elder
BeyondtheRainbow
has no updates.
Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,194
(SuperPoster!)
9,275 hugs
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#803
I went to the dentist to get a temporary filling after a root canal replaced and wound up with that done plus another tooth filled and a third filling that was done incorrectly fixed. I've had so much dental work this last 6 months since starting at this dentist; I'm going to run out of teeth soon.
But I'm so glad to have access to good dental care and the problems are just the result of too many years on too many psych meds. There are worse side effects. Now I'm relaxing and making a shopping list for tomorrow. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
Anonymous46341, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wander, Wild Coyote
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lightly toasted, Wild Coyote
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Member
MsSunflower
doesn't know how she feels
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 397
121 hugs
given |
#804
Just found out that the place I'm volunteering at isn't just in the neighbourhood but is literally next door to where I used to live when I was 13/14. I have a lot of bad memories of that place that all seemed to come back as soon as I seen the image on Google maps. I feel afraid of going now but also silly that I let it have such a hold on me.
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Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Blue_Bird, Innerzone, lightly toasted, sadveiledbride, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wander
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
2,611 hugs
given |
#805
Quote:
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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Anonymous46341, Blue_Bird, lightly toasted
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MsSunflower
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12.7k hugs
given |
#806
Had a few ptsd issues pop up today. So not fun ! Unfortunately this Trigger pops up in many movies. So I fled the room and immediately pulled up videos of Tucker Budzen.
Hes a golden retriever and gorgeous and the videos are hilarious, if you have never heard of him please look him up on YouTube , you will find him adorable and hilarious and if you dont you might lack a soul lol Anyway I muddled through the worst of the trigger but Im glad that I see my T tomorrow, I need some reassurance on a couple things that can occasionally cloud my vision. Hugs and calorie free cookies for all __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
Anonymous46341, Blue_Bird, fern46, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Moose72, MsSunflower, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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lightly toasted, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
2,611 hugs
given |
#807
After a massive trigger on Monday I have been filled with an increasing rage. While there are so many things in my past to be angry at this rage is no longer attached to any particular thing. It is taking all my strength to contain it.
Thankfully I saw my T today and we discussed stopping the trauma therapy as I feel one step away from psychosis. My brain is losing grip. We also discussed coping strategies, and how my rage is totally valid. We agreed exercise is the best thing but with my sore hip Im restricted. Hopefully my Physio will clear me for light swimming in a pool tomorrow. My T also wants me to try and get an appointment with my pdoc ASAP. I saw him last week and he was booked out for five weeks so Im not sure how that will go. This is because I found low dose Seroquel was a great punch out on Monday night. My mind calmed down. I dont have much left, hence the need. My T seemed calm but concerned. Several times in the past trauma has driven me to, or over, the edge of sanity. Im scared because I know what my mind is doing and Ive been there before. __________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
Anonymous46341, Blue_Bird, fern46, Innerzone, lightly toasted, MsSunflower, Nammu, sadveiledbride, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
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Poohbah
Scooter9
has no updates.
Member Since: May 2018
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,189
79 hugs
given |
#808
My pdoc upped my dose of bupropion (Wellbutrin) to 300mg because it seems to be working.
I'm feeling better now that I'm 4 weeks into the 150mg dose and hoping for more improvement at 300mg. Overall I'm still depressed but I'm getting by. I'm focusing on what's good in my life. I had a job interview that went well. My son is visiting. The Raptors won the NBA championship. The weather is getting better and I hope I can get the motivation to get into the garden and catch up on things I left undone last year. __________________ * Dx: Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorder * Rx: Latuda, Remeron, Prozac, Klonopin, Vraylar My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
Anonymous46341, Innerzone, lightly toasted, MsSunflower, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Legendary Wise Elder
Sunflower123
has no updates.
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543
(SuperPoster!)
95k hugs
given |
#809
Quote:
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~Christina
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Silver Swan
Moose72
has no updates.
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,417
(SuperPoster!)
2,512 hugs
given |
#810
Speaking of ptsd, i have some memories that ive rarely to never brought up. When I have, my counselor has said its no big deal if its not directly affecting my life but they are still hanging around yk? Ps I dont have ptsd.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Guest
Anonymous46341
has no updates.
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#811
I have comparatively low spirits today. I use the word "spirits" and not depression. I know everyone on this earth has such low spirit days.
Sometimes I chug along enjoying a lot of what I do. Then occasionally I feel a little trapped. I want to do something more, especially more in terms of contributing to the household income, but I don't know what to do. Also, so often my ideas are shot down by my husband. He doesn't mean harm, but I do get frustrated. When I fight him on such things, he almost (or does) start to cry in agony saying how much he hates his job and feels imprisoned by it, and that I'm not supporting him enough. He really wants to runaway (with me), but we don't have any firm plans on what to do, where to go, and how to make a go of it. The ideas there are (mostly all his) seem so stressful to me, or like a gamble. He's forcing his ideas on me again. His quasi dreams. And during this time before any action, only I am making superficial moves to help make his dream come true. I'm taking such steps to appease him. I'm hating it! Because of that, I'm failing. I love my husband so so much and would never want to be without him, and hate to see him hurt. If I didn't care anymore, it would easy for me to just tell him to go his way and that I'd go mine. Having been on disability for so long, and putting a strain on a lifestyle (and ability for choices), I do feel guilty. If I didn't want to be with him as much, I swear that I'd give him everything I have and move on to start by scratch. Yes, I'd be quite poor, financially, but I would have a bit more independence. My husband has always been more of the alpha person in our marriage. That doesn't mean I wasn't a strong, independent, assertive, and adventurous type before him and in our early years together. But my illness really dragged me down in so many ways. I lost a lot of the independence and an ability to support him, as he's needed. We were and currently still are on my home turf, for the most part. Yet I'm a bit chained within my own backyard. If we move far away to his home continent, I fear I'll be such a fish totally out of water, hanging on to him for dear life. And if he were to ever leave me behind there, I wonder what I'd do. Years may pass and my roots at home may thin or even disappear. It was only about 9 months ago, during a visit with my brother, that out of the blue he said something like "You know, BirdDancer, if ever it comes to it, I would take care of you." That immediately struck me! It was a loving and caring statement, but one that made me feel scared, weak and a little pathetic. As a young woman, I never felt I needed to be cared for. I traveled around the world by myself, paid my own way, and rarely ever flinched with fear. What has happened to me?!?! Maybe I underestimate myself. What can I do to strengthen my foundation further? I have made good progress over the years since my mental traumas, but I'm far from being able to run a 5K in life. Last edited by Anonymous46341; Jun 19, 2019 at 02:52 PM.. |
BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, fern46, Innerzone, lightly toasted, MsSunflower, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
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Magnate
Blueberrybook
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
78 hugs
given |
#812
Tired beyond tired today. Feeling cold so had to put on socks and sweater. We keep our thermostat at 75F and lose cold air from lack of good insulation. A bit down as I was feeling more like myself yesterday. I know the improvement is expected to be gradual, but when you backpedal, it is depessing
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
BeyondtheRainbow, lightly toasted, MsSunflower, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Poohbah
lightly toasted
has no updates.
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Here and There
Posts: 1,147
1,724 hugs
given |
#813
Letting the depression win a bit today, like an enveloping soft and familiar friend. Kitty is well looked after, and I did housekeeping basics and a couple of loads of laundry. But I allowed myself 5 cups of tea, two beyond my usual maximum. And I found yesterday's clothes a bit too comfortable to get out of to have a bath, so I'm not having one.
I'm just too tired to fight the good fight today, I did the important stuff. I'm just letting the fog roll in, just for today. |
Innerzone, MsSunflower, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
2,611 hugs
given |
#814
I emailed my pdoc yesterday to try and get my appointment moved sooner as it was in a months time. My T urged me to do this. After explaining the rage Im feeling and how I am at breaking point my pdoc got his team to call me within a few hours. I now have an appointment for tomorrow. I am so thankful he was able to squeeze me in so soon. I really dont want to go IP again.
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Moose72, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Member
MsSunflower
doesn't know how she feels
Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 397
121 hugs
given |
#815
That's awesome news Wander. Glad you have such an understanding doctor. Mine has squeezed me in to see him on occasion. Definitely helped keep me out of the hospital too.
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Wander
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Poohbah
Pookyl
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,435
79 hugs
given |
#816
Back to feeling normal after last weeks sui week. I took Epilim for 6 days and then stopped as the I could eat non-stop started. Im also back on immediate release Seroquel. I saw pdoc yesterday. Shes ok that Ive stopped taking the Epilim. Not 100% happy but ok.
__________________ Pookyl BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
bizi, Innerzone, lightly toasted, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Bizi is bizi
bizi
happines is a decision
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,829
43.6k hugs
given |
#817
Drinking mikes hard lemonade black cherry after going to an AA meeting, how f****** up is that?
bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
Guiness187055, Innerzone, lightly toasted, MsSunflower, Nammu, sadveiledbride, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Veteran Member
sadveiledbride
has no updates.
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: ???
Posts: 738
830 hugs
given |
#818
Feeling very irritated and depressive. I got around 4 or 5 hours of sleep today. Wishing I could sleep more but am trying not to delude myself for not being able to. Angry about an appointment I have tomorrow. Angry and disappointed with myself.
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Innerzone, lightly toasted, MsSunflower, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12.7k hugs
given |
#819
The ptsd will always be a part of my life and Ill just have to roll with it and try to avoid movies that have guns in them , yeah that honestly is very hard to do nowadays .... I am so furious that I brought a friend from PC into my home and her actions will cause me pure hell at times the rest of my life.
My T and I talked it out.... So I feel back on firmer ground again ... well until the next time. Things could always be worse. __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
Innerzone, lightly toasted, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
has no updates.
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12.7k hugs
given |
#820
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |