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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7 
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May 03, 2019 at 12:07 PM
#1
But first, I'm sorry to keep talking here. I know I'm burdening everyone everywhere.
My t said I appeared mixed because my depression is still very high but my energy levels are crazy high too. My libido is beyond the limits. I'm not sleeping much more than five hours on a long night. I did get rid of the old pills, and don't own guns. That helped him be less concerned but he said to call for help if I need it. I do feel suicidal but not too a point of doing anything about it either way. I'm stuck in the self loathing and uselessness and worthlessness. I don't see the point in trying yet again to die when I've not yet succeeded in all the other attempts. My t did recommend I bring a kitty here. I'm not 100% sure I should be responsible for another life because I'm not responsible with my own. I didn't tell him about the mild hallucinations but he also didn't ask. Why do I feel like everyone will be better off without me, especially me? |
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 Anonymous41462, Anonymous43918, Anonymous46341, gina_re, Innerzone, Jedi67, Wander
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Western, NY
Posts: 575
5 1,913 hugs
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May 03, 2019 at 01:00 PM
#2
I'm currently in a mixed state as well. feels awful, but I keep telling myself it will pass if I give it time. it's really hard. being extremely depressed but with such agitation and elevation. I have not slept in 3 nights because I have a decreased need for sleep and my mania hits me more at night. a crisis plan was given to me by my T today and I see my PDoc on monday. hope you start to feel better. please keep coming here to update us. you are not a burden here. we care about you and wish you all the best. this will pass!
__________________ "Do or Do Not. There is No Try" - Yoda, Jedi Master  Diagnosed 2008 Bipolar II with Mixed States, Rapid Cycling with Anxiety / Depression: Meds: Zoloft, Latuda, Gabapentin & Depakote. |
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| Anonymous41462, Anonymous43918
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
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May 03, 2019 at 03:42 PM
#3
Same here. Must be mixed season. I’m
Hateful And can’t stop myself __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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| Anonymous43918, Jedi67
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Western, NY
Posts: 575
5 1,913 hugs
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May 03, 2019 at 03:45 PM
#4
Quote:
__________________ "Do or Do Not. There is No Try" - Yoda, Jedi Master Diagnosed 2008 Bipolar II with Mixed States, Rapid Cycling with Anxiety / Depression: Meds: Zoloft, Latuda, Gabapentin & Depakote. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7
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May 04, 2019 at 06:22 PM
#5
Today, my mood has been very unpredictable. I've been through the range today. Flip the spinner and get another mood, just don't plan on any certain one.
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| Anonymous43918, FearLess47, Jedi67
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Western, NY
Posts: 575
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May 04, 2019 at 06:35 PM
#6
I feel you. same here. which version is everyone getting today? I'm coming down from a mixed state. it's like a merry go round...
__________________ "Do or Do Not. There is No Try" - Yoda, Jedi Master Diagnosed 2008 Bipolar II with Mixed States, Rapid Cycling with Anxiety / Depression: Meds: Zoloft, Latuda, Gabapentin & Depakote. |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
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May 04, 2019 at 06:51 PM
#7
I’m mostly down today and have been drinking at a ky derby party
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,199
19 2,742 hugs
given
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May 04, 2019 at 07:01 PM
#8
I’ve mostly wanted to be alone today. I’ve left that party a lot and it’s finally over. I’m ready for bed
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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| Jedi67
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7
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May 04, 2019 at 07:10 PM
#9
I thought I was ready for bed but after a minute, I was fully wound up. Gonna have a few whiskeys and see what happens
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| Jedi67
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7
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May 06, 2019 at 08:18 PM
#10
It's a couple days later. Drinking was a bad idea. It makes me worse, much much worse. I'm not doing it tonight and probably not at all. My mind goes very dark and then I go to sleep after only two drinks. Probably meds related. Possibly dangerous! Eeep.
I've been obsessively thinking about simply wanting to be alone or worse, because when I'm around others, I see how much I don't fit. It's almost like I'm watching myself as I interact and can see, via their body language, how much they don't care. It's obvious. I'm done trying to connect to people in real life. They don't get me nor need me. |
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| Anonymous43918, FearLess47, gina_re, Innerzone, Jedi67
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 577
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May 07, 2019 at 07:27 AM
#11
It seems like a lot of us are dealing with mixed episodes right now. Lack of sleep makes everything so much harder. I’m sorry that you’re feeling so crappy right now. Please be sure to seek help if you need it. Big hugs.
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| BeyondtheRainbow, Jedi67
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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