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Default Jun 12, 2019 at 04:57 PM
  #81
So I found a gastroenterologist for end of November. Me and H fought this morning, I knew it was coming. He's disappointed and I'm making him into a liar by not making good choices. This was because I waited him out to cook breakfast. IDK what to do. I'm failing at this whole normal thing. I can't stand fighting but I don't know how to stop. It's not like he doesn't win. How do you know when you're getting depressed and when it's just situational? I can't fight all summer.

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Default Jun 12, 2019 at 07:27 PM
  #82
I made up for the fight by laying in bed while he napped and making dinner. This sucks I hate this.

Now I'm alone and it's starting to get dark and I'm starting to get paranoid. I hate being alone.

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Red face Jun 12, 2019 at 09:38 PM
  #83
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
I made up for the fight by laying in bed while he napped and making dinner. This sucks I hate this.

Now I'm alone and it's starting to get dark and I'm starting to get paranoid. I hate being alone.
Does he work at night? why are you alone?
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Default Jun 12, 2019 at 09:57 PM
  #84
Does he work at night? why are you alone? He had to help my nephew who's moving. He's home now and nothing bad happend. I thought I was better than this BS because I'm able to let him sleep when I'm awake. Yes it use to be if I was up he was. I didn't expect that and all the horrible thoughts.

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Default Jun 23, 2019 at 03:03 PM
  #85
We’re getting complaints about Miguel almost daily. He’s unintentionally getting himself in trouble with his professor. He’s depressed. I have no idea how he’s going to handle camp. He’s even calling saying he did x. Why is so and so mad at him now? Almost daily. It’s not anyone's fault. I just feel bad and worry about his future. He’s a senior next year and trying to get into a university. We’ve had to do screen sharing to get his work done as his attention span is gone. It never has been there but I thought it has gotten better. I was wrong. I’m so worried for him.

I have a week before I can start eating normal again. I’m hopeful my ED will be better when I can eat whatever I want.

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Red face Jun 23, 2019 at 03:13 PM
  #86
Not quite sure I understand but that is ok, just wanted to offer you a hug.
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Default Jun 25, 2019 at 09:10 AM
  #87
Miguel's only has a year before going away to college. His friends and room mates aren't going to call us if he's doing something that bothers them and he's just doesn't seem to care (when really he doesn't get it.) We can't screen share and talk when he's working to keep him on task. It's bad we didn't realize how bad things were for him because we deal with it 24/7 as things happen.

I'm paranoid that I'm not loved today, it's a sucky feeling

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Unhappy Jun 25, 2019 at 09:13 AM
  #88
Sounds like he doesn't want help.
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PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 05:46 PM
  #89
There's no reason for me to feel confused, stressed, and anxious. H got up at 3. I haven't told him anything that is going on with me. IDK, I see new T in 10 days. She's going to hate me too just like the last 3 did. I don't want to waste T's time just sitting there, ending conversations unintentionally. It's not like she can see me a lot so I guess I'm worth $X every month. Maybe group therapy so I don't have to talk. People scare me though. I don't even talk to cashiers. If I do I apologize. Hell I talk to H through text. This silence is killing me. I need to cut my hair really, really short. This is so uncomfortable. I feel nothing and guilt at the same time. WHY CAN'T I JUST TALK? I'm typing this but there's no way I could actually say any of this.
Possible trigger:
It's not worth the fight and talking. Maybe therapy isn't right for me. Every three months for meds are fine. (Until I get paranoid) . Maybe I'm not a severe as I think I am. Maybe what I'm feeling is normal, I spent so much time on this post and it says nothing. That's why I erased my other post in the check in. If I'm depressed I wish it was the sleepy , flu like one. Not the one where I'm stuck "behaving" for fear of consequences.

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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 06:01 PM
  #90
Maybe you haven't found the right therapist/therapy? The therapist I saw as a teenager and then the one I saw for a couple of months last year just didn't make me comfortable even after a period of time. I felt like they disliked me, too. Finding the right therapist was great for me, I feel comfortable with her and like I can work with her. I wonder if you could explain that you are not comfortable telling them things, and then maybe they can help you get to that point. Or, you could write stuff down? I hope you find treatment that works.
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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 06:13 PM
  #91
I use to write stuff down for my WV T but ever time I've wrote here IOP is mentioned. Last T said my writing is dramatic. I get in trouble either way so there's no point. I'll ask new T. I'll print out an old chart and show her. So not to show her what's going on now.

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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 09:20 PM
  #92
I’m wondering.. have you done any DBT Therapy?

You can look up a lot on line , but maybe order a workbook online? They have many on Amazon less than 20 bucks a piece.

Since you struggle so much to be verbal with most everyone it might be a starting point in regaining your “ voice”

Just a thought

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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 09:50 PM
  #93
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have you done any DBT Therapy?
No, I'll pick up a DBT work book this month.

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Default Jul 17, 2019 at 03:38 PM
  #94
So I went to see new T. She resigned. So did my son's therapist. So now they're down to two therapist the sucky one and my husband's. It sucked because she seemed like a good one. She kept me talking, figured out I'm deeply depressed. She kept asking me my stressors. Told me my opinions are valid and my son needs to actually hear my spoken voice. My homework is to find something that makes me happy every day even if it's small. Now I can wait until they find a new therapist or two which could take months or I could go back to my old clinic or call my insurance and find a new one. IDK what I want to do, Do I take a break? maybe therapy just isn't for me.

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Default Jul 17, 2019 at 05:37 PM
  #95
Oh no, I am so sorry your therapist resigned. It's hard to find one that' s a good fit I think and that's such a shame you have to start over. Could that therapist maybe recommend someone? Maybe you could call your insurance and then look up the therapists online and then check out their reviews and/or speak with them on the phone first to make sure they are worth trying out? Maybe you could find one that does DBT if you are interested in pursuing that. Teletherapy could maybe be an option to look into if you're in an area with very limited options (I don't know much about it, though).
I would say that if you were having a good experience with the last therapist it's a positive sign therapy could work for you, just a matter of finding the right one. Your mental health is worth it, you are worth it!
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