FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#1
I hate that question. What do they mean by "okay?" And how do you answer when, whatever they mean, you know you're not?
|
Reply With Quote |
fern46, Jedi67, still_crazy, Tryingtobehappy5
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#2
I think when people ask this, they mean something more along the lines of " are you feeling good like I am.?"
anything less than a " yes" is like an insult to them the concept of " not being okay" is something that some people can't get their head around I always say "no", because I've always said.. i'm not going to say I'm okay if i'm not. if people don't like it, they're just going to have to deal with it.. that's how it is. I also hate " how are you?" more like, " are you happy?." they don't care how you are.. if they did, when you said you were feeling depressed they would take the conversation further |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous43918, fern46, still_crazy, Tryingtobehappy5
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 4,300 hugs
given |
#3
I just try to be honest. Sometimes people probably wish they hadn't asked but they learn and know what to expect the next time. I usually don't hold back. I am the friend that will straight up tell you if you ask me and your butt does look big in the outfit you're wearing. I try to warn people by asking if they really want an honest answer first.
|
Reply With Quote |
FearLess47, Jedi67, Tryingtobehappy5
|
Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
(SuperPoster!)
5 192 hugs
given |
#4
I try not to ask that if I am really not trying to find out if someone is ok. I may say "how you doing" in a polite situation but if I ask someone about being ok I really want to know. Same thing if someone asks me. If I am not ok and they are someone I would normally share my feelings with I would tell them, but I get "how are you? and How you doing" a lot as a nicety.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
Reply With Quote |
still_crazy, Tryingtobehappy5
|
Jedi67
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#5
There's always "I could be better" unless you truly believe the person wants to know more and help you.
|
Reply With Quote |
still_crazy
|
luvyrself, still_crazy, Tryingtobehappy5
|
Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: United States of America
Posts: 1,792
7 3,342 hugs
given |
#6
i dunno. i just smile and say I'm doing pretty well, thanks. not too enthusiastic, not too personal. i dunno. its the best i can come up with, honestly.
with family and close friends, its different, of course... |
Reply With Quote |
Jedi67, Tryingtobehappy5
|
Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,469
(SuperPoster!)
16 2,545 hugs
given |
#7
One Sunday after church, the priest was saying hello to people as they left out the front door. I. was going another direction but he saw me and said "How have you been? I haven't seen you in quite a while". I had no real excuse for missing so much church- I'm in the choir too. So I bluted out "I've been having a hard time with my bipolar disorder". That shut him up. I absolutelt HATE when I say something like that and FRIENDS go "Awwwww...." as oif I were a little kid who'd lost their favorite toy. I've often toyed with the idea of replying to ignorant comments with "I've been okay . (Lie).
Possible trigger:
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
Reply With Quote |
Tryingtobehappy5, Wander
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#8
But what does it mean to be okay or not okay? How do *I* tell if I'm okay so I can give close friends/family/treatment team an accurate answer?
|
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous32451
|
Tryingtobehappy5
|
Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,868
9 |
#9
I don't have a good answer. Sometimes I don't even know if I'm ok. Or I think sometimes I think I'm ok when I'm really not. Mostly I just walk around trying to tell myself I'm ok. Yeah, I don't know what people mean by it. What is classified as 'ok'? I, too, would like an answer.
I don't think I've ever said I'm not ok, but people have looked at me and said I'm not. I think in the back of my mind, I classify being ok with how suicidal I am. Probably not a good approach. |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous43918, Tryingtobehappy5
|
FearLess47
|
Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 577
8 21 hugs
given |
#10
I usually just say I’m fine. Even though I’m not. I don’t know how to answer that question and not scare people away.
|
Reply With Quote |
still_crazy, Tryingtobehappy5
|
still_crazy
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#11
something else I sometimes say is... oh, same as any other day
|
Reply With Quote |
Jedi67
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#12
Quote:
I guess it means diffrent things to diffrent people. the way I look at it is have I had a good day, is their anything bothering me or making me anxious?. am I suicidal. have I actually accomplished anything today, am I currently where I want to be, etc. but it's diffrent for others say: someone's dog goes missing, and then later that person finds it then that person might be okay simply for having the dog back. it might not necessarily have anything to do with how the rest of their day is going |
|
Reply With Quote |
Tryingtobehappy5
|
Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Western, NY
Posts: 575
5 1,913 hugs
given |
#13
__________________ "Do or Do Not. There is No Try" - Yoda, Jedi Master Diagnosed 2008 Bipolar II with Mixed States, Rapid Cycling with Anxiety / Depression: Meds: Zoloft, Latuda, Gabapentin & Depakote. |
Reply With Quote |
Tryingtobehappy5
|
Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Western, NY
Posts: 575
5 1,913 hugs
given |
#14
when asked I try to gauge the person's emotion behind it. it's usually a different answer depending on how's it's asked, I suppose. if it's just some formal and impersonal "are you ok?" I may just say: I'm good, thanks. but if it's a friend or family member who knows my deal, then of course I answer truthfully. on the other hand, I don't wish to be rude or overbearing to strangers who are just politely asking.
__________________ "Do or Do Not. There is No Try" - Yoda, Jedi Master Diagnosed 2008 Bipolar II with Mixed States, Rapid Cycling with Anxiety / Depression: Meds: Zoloft, Latuda, Gabapentin & Depakote. |
Reply With Quote |
hope2010, Innerzone, Tryingtobehappy5
|
Member
Member Since Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 443
6 776 hugs
given |
#15
Totally depends on the situation for me. Most of the time its a coworker because I rarely go anywhere otherwise. So to them I just say Im doing well. If someone who knows whats been going on asks but Im not close to them I will usually just say Im doing a lot better thanks. And if its one of the very few people who actually care I will be totally honest.
Im not sure what ok really is anymore though. I feel ok right now because Im not suicidal and I have been managing to take my meds and not do anything self-destructive but there are lots of moments where I have a total breakdown and Im still mildly depressed so how ok can I really be if thats still happening. __________________ Bipolar 1 Borderline Personality Disorder Alcohol Use Disorder Meds: Depakote Welbutrin Abilify I didn't want any flowers, I only wanted to lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty. How free it is, you have no idea how free. - Sylvia Plath |
Reply With Quote |
Jedi67
|
Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,435
6 79 hugs
given |
#16
I answer truthfully. I don’t bother lying. I’ve learned not to waste my time on people who aren’t important to me.
__________________ Pookyl ———————————————————————————— BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
Reply With Quote |
Jedi67
|
Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,285
(SuperPoster!)
13 53.6k hugs
given |
#17
I just figure that they are being polite and say I'm ok.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Reply With Quote |
Jedi67
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
9 2,611 hugs
given |
#18
Unless I am in a horrible state with a close friend/family member I cannot help but immediately draw a broad smile and say things like, "I'm fine", or even, "I'm great" when asked the o kay question while I am suffering deeply.
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
Reply With Quote |
Jedi67
|
Jedi67
|
Member
Member Since May 2018
Location: Earth weekdays, Pluto on weekends
Posts: 318
5 20 hugs
given |
#19
What's sad is people ask often, but don't really want to know. It becomes a platitude. I don't tell anyone, purely because I'm sick of others judging me. I don't lie or hide it, I don't open up. I deflect. I be myself, but answer to no one but myself and God. Sheesh I sound like a snob. I'm not, I'm tired of others not caring about me as much as I try and care for them.
So, it makes sense how I'll answer the question. I can lie, tell others I'm great and completely exhaust myself by faking it. Or I can be the real me. Have one real friend and be as lonely as I've ever been. But that one friend who knows me, even though we spend so little time together online, is worth 100 fake friends. Yes. I'm in a very dark place. |
Reply With Quote |
fern46, hope2010, Jedi67
|
Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
given |
#20
I just say - I am fine to people that are not close to me. Now if a true friend, I have about five of them, ask me I will tell the truth. Depends on the moment though, because sometimes is just not the right time to go on about how I really feel. I am thankful to have these friends.
__________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|