"Are you okay?" - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-06-2019, 09:19 AM #1
spikes's Avatar
spikes spikes is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 779
spikes spikes is offline
Grand Member
spikes's Avatar
spikes has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 779

1 yr Member
282 hugs
given
Default "Are you okay?"

I hate that question. What do they mean by "okay?" And how do you answer when, whatever they mean, you know you're not?
spikes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 05-06-2019, 09:26 AM #2
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
2,346 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: "Are you okay?"

I think when people ask this, they mean something more along the lines of " are you feeling good like I am.?"

anything less than a " yes" is like an insult to them

the concept of " not being okay" is something that some people can't get their head around

I always say "no", because I've always said.. i'm not going to say I'm okay if i'm not. if people don't like it, they're just going to have to deal with it.. that's how it is.

I also hate " how are you?"

more like, " are you happy?."

they don't care how you are.. if they did, when you said you were feeling depressed they would take the conversation further
raging vortex is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-06-2019, 09:44 AM #3
fern46 fern46 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 277
fern46 fern46 is offline
Member
fern46 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 277 (SuperPoster!)

349 hugs
given
Default Re: "Are you okay?"

I just try to be honest. Sometimes people probably wish they hadn't asked but they learn and know what to expect the next time. I usually don't hold back. I am the friend that will straight up tell you if you ask me and your butt does look big in the outfit you're wearing. I try to warn people by asking if they really want an honest answer first.
fern46 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-06-2019, 10:39 AM #4
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,981
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Grand Poohbah
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets Humor is my end game..
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,981 (SuperPoster!)

107 hugs
given
Default Re: "Are you okay?"

I try not to ask that if I am really not trying to find out if someone is ok. I may say "how you doing" in a polite situation but if I ask someone about being ok I really want to know. Same thing if someone asks me. If I am not ok and they are someone I would normally share my feelings with I would tell them, but I get "how are you? and How you doing" a lot as a nicety.
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-06-2019, 10:58 AM #5
BirdDancer's Avatar
BirdDancer BirdDancer is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: The Garden State
Posts: 2,401
BirdDancer BirdDancer is offline
Magnate
BirdDancer's Avatar
BirdDancer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: The Garden State
Posts: 2,401

5 yr Member
4,157 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: "Are you okay?"

There's always "I could be better" unless you truly believe the person wants to know more and help you.
__________________
I have Bipolar type 1

Tegretol XR generic (1200 mg)
Lamictal generic (100 mg)
Seroquel XR generic (550 mg)
Latuda (20 mg)
Klonopin generic (0.5 mg)

PRNs - Seroquel IR generic (25 to 100 mg in a day), Ativan (1 mg, up to 3 mg/day)

Others: Propranolol (40 mg), Synthroid (150 mcg), OTC multi-vitamin, OTC iron supplement (during periods), Biotin supplement (for my otherwise thin fingernails)
BirdDancer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-06-2019, 11:00 AM #6
still_crazy still_crazy is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: United States of America
Posts: 1,593
still_crazy still_crazy is offline
Grand Poohbah
still_crazy has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2016
Location: United States of America
Posts: 1,593

2 yr Member
2,993 hugs
given
Default Re: "Are you okay?"

i dunno. i just smile and say I'm doing pretty well, thanks. not too enthusiastic, not too personal. i dunno. its the best i can come up with, honestly.

with family and close friends, its different, of course...
still_crazy is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 05-06-2019, 11:18 AM #7
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 Moose72 is online now
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11,639
Moose72 Moose72 is online now
Legendary
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 N3 singing at age 10
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 11,639 (SuperPoster!)

10 yr Member
786 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: "Are you okay?"

One Sunday after church, the priest was saying hello to people as they left out the front door. I. was going another direction but he saw me and said "How have you been? I haven't seen you in quite a while". I had no real excuse for missing so much church- I'm in the choir too. So I bluted out "I've been having a hard time with my bipolar disorder". That shut him up. I absolutelt HATE when I say something like that and FRIENDS go "Awwwww...." as oif I were a little kid who'd lost their favorite toy. I've often toyed with the idea of replying to ignorant comments with "I've been okay . (Lie).
Possible trigger:
That should keep them from asking again!
__________________
http://www.bipolarhallucidations.blogspot.com


*Schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type*

Haldol 2.5 mg
Seroquel 300 mg
Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Rexulti 3 mg
Topomax 50 mg
Trazodone 50 mg - as needed

My Photography - Favorites

Most recent episode:

Mania (April/May 2019)
Moose72 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 05-06-2019, 11:20 AM #8
spikes's Avatar
spikes spikes is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 779
spikes spikes is offline
Grand Member
spikes's Avatar
spikes has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 779

1 yr Member
282 hugs
given
Default Re: "Are you okay?"

But what does it mean to be okay or not okay? How do *I* tell if I'm okay so I can give close friends/family/treatment team an accurate answer?
spikes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-06-2019, 04:38 PM #9
scatterbrained04's Avatar
scatterbrained04 scatterbrained04 is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,636
scatterbrained04 scatterbrained04 is offline
Magnate
scatterbrained04's Avatar
scatterbrained04 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,636

3 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: "Are you okay?"

I don't have a good answer. Sometimes I don't even know if I'm ok. Or I think sometimes I think I'm ok when I'm really not. Mostly I just walk around trying to tell myself I'm ok. Yeah, I don't know what people mean by it. What is classified as 'ok'? I, too, would like an answer.

I don't think I've ever said I'm not ok, but people have looked at me and said I'm not. I think in the back of my mind, I classify being ok with how suicidal I am. Probably not a good approach.
scatterbrained04 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-07-2019, 07:28 AM #10
GoldenSnitch's Avatar
GoldenSnitch GoldenSnitch is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 533
GoldenSnitch GoldenSnitch is offline
Veteran Member
GoldenSnitch's Avatar
GoldenSnitch has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 533

3 yr Member
21 hugs
given
Default Re: "Are you okay?"

I usually just say Iím fine. Even though Iím not. I donít know how to answer that question and not scare people away.
GoldenSnitch is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:54 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.