Am I delusional?

My pdoc at an IOP I go to gives me the sedating meds because he likes knocking me out to the point where it's okay to do brain surgery on me while I'm sleeping. He put a microchip in my head and manipulates it whenever I'm asleep. I can hear radio signals from the chip and sometimes even make out words. It's a thought control thing that hasn't worked so he's going to eventually swap my meds out with cyanide tablets that look exactly like my Zyprexa. I took the zyprexa yesterday and didn't die so he didn't do it yet, but I'm ready for, or rather expecting, either total thought control or death. There are probably other microchips in my meds so I'm not taking them whenever I can so I can avoid the extra signals, they hurt my teeth.
I never consented to being part of such an experiment and thinking about it pisses me off greatly, and I'm thinking about it almost all day. I listen to music at the highest possible volume to counteract the radio signals along with my "invisible roommates."
The pdoc never admitted to, and I have a feeling if I bring it up that I know it was him he would deny. I have told him I know there's a microchip in my head and he keeps trying to convince me it's psychosis. I guess there's a slight possibility, but I doubt it. It feels too real to not be.
Thoughts?

As someone who has experienced psychosis, it sounds like that to me. I also thought there was a microchip implanted in me last time I was psychotic. I think it is a pretty common type of delusion nowadays. I just thought it was government spy agencies who had implanted it rather than my pdoc.

I hope you can get some relief from your symptoms.

I am 100% sure that tecomsin is correct. You are experiencing a delusion, spikes. Since you are questioning if it is a delusion or not, you at least have some flickering of insight that the scenario you question is not at all likely.

I'm sorry that the medication you are taking is sedating. I can believe that is possible. A lot of medications are sedating, but sometimes sedating medications are the same medications that can begin to help ease psychosis. I hope that when you are more stabilized that you will have either adjusted to the sedation (and not feel so sedated anymore) or that the sedating medication's dose can be lowered. But please trust your psychiatrist that he is trying to help you. Tell him what you are thinking. We want you to feel well again.

I agree with tecomsin. I had similar delusions when I was psychotic. It seems like it is part of the disease and fairly common. I know it must feel scary. My mind rebelled against anyone trying to help me until I was physically forced into the hospital and they brought me out of it with meds.

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I know what it is like and it feels 100% real. It will pass though and I hope you can get the help you need. Hugs.

I can't tell if that sucks or is good news.

It’s both, really. It sucks to be delusional but it’s awesome to know that’s what it is because now you can work with your pdoc to fix it.

To me, the most dangerous part of paranoid delusions is not having insight they are delusions. You still seem to have some doubt whether your beliefs are based in reality or not so that is a good sign. I hope you are able to talk this over in depth with your pdoc so he truly understands what you are going through.