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Elder
Miss Laura
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
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#1
So I'm talking to my friend and she thinks I'm in crisis and that i need to call the mental health team but i think I'm fine. Any help would be great
Symptoms- Lack of sleep I've been sleeping under 5 hours last 2 days but I've currently been sleeping up to 12 hours a day Talking to 28 guys online from all over the world wanting sex talking about sex on video chat to them social media etc Some of them want to come and meet me for sex I'm typing and talking faster than normal To clarify I have been in a depression since Dec. Maybe this is just the way it is I'm in a happy mood. Some American guys want me to fly there and live for good. I'm so tempted lol. But I have family in Scotland so my roots are here. |
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Anonymous41462, fern46, Jedi67, xRavenx
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Nola0250
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#2
Yup, sounds like hypomanic. Talking to 28 guys online and talking about meeting them for sex? Most of us would not do this most of the time. Also I’m pretty sure you posted the same kind of thing a while back when you were hypomanic. Can you find it? Reading the reaponses you got there could help. Hold on, don’t have the kind of fun you’ll regret later, and good luck. Think hard about what you c am do to ground yourself. Do you need a Med change? What worked last time?
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fern46, Jedi67
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Grand Magnate
fern46
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#3
Sounds hypomanic to me. I'd recommend talking it over with your doc or therapist to see if an adjustment is needed. Hypomania makes you feel fine by its very nature. You have to learn on your loved ones and let them be your mirror. Please be careful with meeting up with anyone online. Maybe you can channel this added energy into something else.
Hypomania can spiral into mania and psychosis quickly. Hugs and well wishes for your health and safety. |
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Jedi67
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Jedi67
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Veteran Member
Jedi67
"needs of the one outweighs the needs of the
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#4
Quote:
__________________ "Do or Do Not. There is No Try" - Yoda, Jedi Master Diagnosed 2008 Bipolar II with Mixed States, Rapid Cycling with Anxiety / Depression: Meds: Zoloft, Latuda, Gabapentin & Depakote. |
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fern46
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fern46
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Elder
Miss Laura
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
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#5
Hi guys,
Since writing this I have video chatted with 2 guys. I'm regretting the 2nd guy now that I've had time to think it through. I went naked on camera and he saw everything. I mean everything. They both want to meet up but I'm putting them off just. It's currently 10:26pm and I'm finally eating my evening meal. I've been chatting to these guys for about 7 hours. My friends dont understand. I was meant to see my therapist today but she's ill so it was cancelled. I'm not seeing my nurse for 3 more weeks. I just saw my Psychiatrist 3 or 4 weeks ago he upped the Depakote cause I was depressed. I just saw my worker yesterday but i met her in the city centre and we go for lunch for an hour. I couldn't talk to her as we were outside in public. |
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Jedi67
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Elder
Miss Laura
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Location: Scotland, UK
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#6
No-one is chatting to me.... my friends are ignoring me and I just want to talk. I'm sitting with my parents at their house or I would just talk openly like I normally do. This guy is pestering me to come up. He wants to come up this week coming for 3 days. I want him to but I equally am scared incase i get caught. I'm having high anxieties yet i feel great today. My friend online has been ignoring me since last night. I think she's peeved off with me. I messaged her constantly for an hour last night but nothing. I lost my job 8 years ago yesterday and I'm messed up I think
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Anonymous41462, gina_re, Jedi67
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Elder
Miss Laura
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
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#7
My therapist emails every Sunday... to remind me of my appt on the Thursday. Anyways I mentioned to her I'm hypomanic or maybe manic I wrote a bunch of other things in the email. I normally just confirm my appt and wish get well for the week. I don't know why I told her. Anyways she emailed back saying she was concerned and says I should contact the crisis team and or my CPN (Community Psychiatric Nurse) on Monday. I'm worried if I do they'll think I'm not coping and think badly of me. I volunteer through the mental health team and I don't want to disappoint anyone I'm already a disappointment to people in my life. My friends aren't talking to me so I can't tell them. Guys i need your help here
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Nola0250
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#8
I don’t think anyone you work with will be disappointed with you seeking help when you need it. They would probably be pleased by that. I think you should hold on and contact your CPN before you consider hooking up with anyone!
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Anonymous41462
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fern46
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#9
I wouldn't be disappointed in someone for seeking help if they needed it. I would be grateful they showed enough self love to get the help they needed. I think this would be especially true of a mental health team that knows just how important it is to seek treatment when you are out of balance. Try not to be worried. Just focus on knowing you are doing the right thing and getting help tomorrow. Mania can be very dangerous and it is a great idea to contact your crisis team before it spirals out of control. I have infinite regrets from my last episode and I wish I had known what I know now. Make the call, even if it feels hard. You will be glad afterward.
Also, I am sorry your friends stopped responding. It must feel awful to see your support system not working like you had hoped. Maybe they will reach out soon. Until then, we are here for you! |
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Anonymous41462
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Jedi67
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downandlonely
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#10
I think contacting the CPN tomorrow is a good idea.
Also, please don't meet that guy you've been chatting with in person. Guys who like to chat with women naked on webcam are only interested in one thing. And you don't know that it is safe to meet him. |
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fern46, Jedi67
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Elder
Miss Laura
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
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#11
They are going to be upset in what I have been doing. What I have been like. I've wrote my symptoms down in my phone. I cant phone tomorrow until after 1pm as I volunteer in the morning at the local mental health day service. I then have my supervision until 1pm I can play it down in public so no-one can tell what's up with me other than I'm anxious.
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Anonymous41462
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Grand Magnate
fern46
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#12
Who will be upset with you? If you are worried your mental healthcare professionals will be, they shouldn't. They see behaviors like this all the time. They may counsel you against it and let you know the behavior is risky though. They are there to help, not be mad at you. Just be honest so they can help your specific symptoms. Sexual behavior like what you've been engaging in is one of the most common symptoms of mania. They will know how to assist.
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Jedi67
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Elder
Miss Laura
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Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
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#13
Yeah I feel the mental health team will be upset with me. I always feel guilty and that it's all my fault. I couldn't even admit I was depressed until last month I had been depressed since Dec. I know this is risky behaviour I'm displaying but it entices me a lot and makes me feel wanted
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Anonymous41462, fern46, Jedi67
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Grand Magnate
fern46
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Location: USA
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#14
I think it is normal to be hesitant. Our minds can make us think all kinds of things that worry us while in these states. It isn't your fault at all. It is a disease that messes with your brain chemistry and it needs to be treated. If you had MS or diabetes or something it wouldnt be your fault, but you would still need help. This is no different. I remember feeling so ashamed of my behavior and I've come to realize it wasn't my fault. I was sick and needed help.
The risky behavior is a symptom. It can be treated as well. You have to keep reminding yourself of that the most when it makes you feel good. You have to remind yourself that your safety and well being is worth more than a few thrills you will regret later. My mother went manic all of a sudden almost 20 years ago. We had no idea what was happening or how to help her. She pushed everyone away and refused treatment because she was ashamed and afraid we judged her. She walked away from my dad and me. Fast forward to 6 months ago... I went completely insane one weekend. I was dragged against my will and hospitalized. I snapped out of it once I was medicated and then I realized what I had done. The shame was immense. I wanted to be alone and I didnt want to tell my story to anyone. My dad came to me and begged me with tears in his eyes to please let the doctors help me. He begged me to be honest and get the help I needed. He begged me not to be ashamed like my mother and to give the treatment time to work. I promised him I would and I did. Nobody treated me with anger even though my actions were despicable. Nobody judged me. They simply helped me. The people in group listened and offered support. My family let me apologize and they let me back into their lives even though I caused so much pain. The point is in my expereince I found people will genuinely help you if you are genuine about wanting help. You can do this if you want to. You're worth it. |
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BeyondtheRainbow, Jedi67
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BeyondtheRainbow, Jedi67, Victoria'smom
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Elder
Miss Laura
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
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#15
I eventually got a call from my CPN. She says I have to stay medicated. I've been off it for 3 weeks. Says all my symptoms are cause I'm off my meds. I know its all my fault. I'm sorry for being a pain. I only have myself to blame
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fern46, gina_re, Jedi67
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Silver Swan
Moose72
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#16
Quote:
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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Elder
Miss Laura
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
85 hugs
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#17
You know when all you do is apologise. I give up why do I do this to myself. I have WhatsApped my 2 friends and I'm being ignored. I give up. All I have said to another friend is I'm sorry. Why do I feel bad
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Elder
Miss Laura
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,241
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#18
Hey guys,
I spoke to my community worker today. She thinks it might be a good idea to go on the depot injection for Depakote as meds seem to be my biggest bug bearer. I'm a little bit worried she's going to get me info on it when I see her in 3 weeks. She thinks I should also go on a 6 week course on relapsing as well I'm basically relapsing a lot. She's referring me to a dietician too. As I fat as and need to get my butt in gear. I restarted my meds this morning. Says it's going to take up to August for them to probably kick in. I screw up all the time. I sabotage my own success. I don't know why. I'm sorry for worrying you guys. I appreciate all the responses though. Means a lot to me |
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Daonnachd, Innerzone, Jedi67, Nola0250
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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#19
You're not alone in this. I just restarted my medication today too.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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fern46
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Miss Laura
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Wise Elder
Innerzone
FML
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#20
I'm so glad you restarted your meds, Miss Laura! (And to Miguel's Mom too!) I think you are right that that is always what seems to get you in trouble. Don't ever worry about worrying us. Bottling it up doesn't help. Reaching out does.
I think the injection is a good idea to try, as one of its main attributes is helping people stay on their meds, and that is an issue for you (not uncommon, you're not alone! Don't feel bad about it. You recognized it and sought help -- good on you!!). You are NOT a disappointment. You are loved and are battling a challenging disorder. __________________ ********* Mr. Robot Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside. --The Cure
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fern46, Miss Laura, Nola0250
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