[UhMe]

This is my first time posting in this section. But pretty much a few years ago, I was diagnosed with bpd 2. Was given a cocktail of lithium, welbuterin, and seroquil. This happened in full downswing. I started getting better, made the snap decision to move amd start over, and took myself off my meds. I was essentially ok for a good piece. Just small waves here and there. But now, I am in another full downswing.

I tried ignoring it, hoping it would go away. But my moods not improving. Its getting worse. Im worried about a full relapse. Complete with the drugs, alcohol, self injury, and stupid decisions.

Part of me knows i need to see someone, but that would mean the people who think im doing ok are going to find out. And i just cant deal with that right now. Idk what to do..

[Victoria'smom]

Why would anyone need to know?

[~Christina]

People will only know what your doing if you tell them. Get help

[Wander]

I agree with the above; seek help immediately. If you do get much worse everyone will notice anyway. Right now though you have no obligation to tell anyone about your health matters.

[fern46]

You don't have to tell anyone to get help. Your privacy is your choice. However, it can be beneficial to have a support system around you while you level out. Family and friends don't always understand. You have to choose wisely, but a well placed support system can be a great tool in your treatment plan.

[UhMe]

I live in a really really small town. Everyone knows when you use the bathroom kind of small.

And I don't have the money to travel too far. Its a lose lose situation.

[Nola0250]

If you don’t get help and keep spiraling down then people are going to find out. If you can get some treatment and get it under control, then maybe they won’t ...

[fern46]

Sometimes you have to lose to win. That may be the case here because saving yourself from letting this get out of control is a win no matter how you have to go about it.

Doctors and pharmacists are not supposed to go around telling people about their patient's/customers business. At pharmacies, they should not loudly say your medication names for others to hear. Many people go to a pharmacy for all kinds of things. Just going to a pharmacy shouldn't reveal anything about your diagnosis. If a snoopy person asks what you picked up, ideally we can tell them it's private. Or, you can say it's allergy medication.

Wander makes a good point in that avoiding treatment can eventually lead to symptoms giving away your dx to the public. It's best to avoid letting them get out of hand.

If you're worried about someone seeing you walk into a psychiatrist office, you can always wear a hat and sunglasses.

One way to help fight mental illness stigma is to not be ashamed of having one.

[UhMe]

I understand what you guys are saying.

It makes perfect sense. I guess i need to get over myself and do it. Its just kills me to go through this all again. Its bs. Why did i have to be so stupid and take myself off my meds in the first place

[Victoria'smom]

If you have the money maybe you can do online therapy? You can see your GP for meds. You don't need to tell people you're having issues. If they know your Dx tell them therapy is just a normal part of treatment.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry that you're hurting so much, UhMe! I completely agree with what all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said MUCH, MUCH better than I EVER COULD! You've been given PLENTY of great, kind, wise and wonderful advice on this thread! I'd suggest to follow it AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN IF YOU WANT TO! I completely agree with what all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could about other people finding out your diagnosis! It's none of their business and your doctors can't disclose ANY personal information with others without your explicit permission! You're safe on that aspect! Most importantly please remember that YOUR OWN HEALTH must be the TOP PRIORITY! I strongly recommend you to get help as soon as possible! I feel like that's necessary since you're feeling so bad! YOU MATTER AND YOUR LIFE MATTERS! Please let us know how things are going for you, ok? We DO CARE ABOUT YOU and we DO WANT TO KNOW how things are going for you and if things are getting ANY BETTER for you and if there's ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to HELP YOU OUT! I PROMISE YOU ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THATAS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN BECAUSE IT IS TRUE! Sending many hugs to you, UhMe!