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Default May 22, 2019 at 07:25 PM
  #1
If you're on disability what do you say to people who ask what you do or where you work?

I ran into one of my old high school classmates and first I told her or implied I work, but then she asked where and I had an oh **** moment, so I quickly back tracked and said I was a stay at home mom (I have a seven year old daughter so it wasn't really a lie).

It was just so awkward. I had a panic moment!

What do you guys say?

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Default May 22, 2019 at 07:49 PM
  #2
I usually tell a little white lie - like I say one of my hobbies is my income. For me, I write, and so when people ask me what I do for work, I say I am writer. Technically I am, but I don't get paid for it - but they don't know that.

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Default May 22, 2019 at 08:10 PM
  #3
My husband's a web deveoper. I'm a stay at home mom.

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Default May 22, 2019 at 08:18 PM
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I just say I am on disability now. I say it is for side effects of chemo although that is not originally why I went on disability, but I don't see that as anyone's business. It took some time before I got over my shame about that, but I have found it less stigmatizing to say I'm on disability than to say I have a mental illness or to say that I was treated for lung cancer.

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Default May 22, 2019 at 10:08 PM
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i say i am on disability.

none of their business what put me on disability.
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Default May 23, 2019 at 02:51 AM
  #6
I have gotten back in touch with people I went to school with decades ago ( thank you Facebook)

When I got that question My reply was I’m not able to work , what do you do ? Usually people are more than happy to tell you about themselves and no longer think about what you are doing or not doing.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation why you work or not.

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Default May 23, 2019 at 06:00 AM
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Some people I trust and feel comfortable with, so I tell the truth - disability. Those I don't, I just talk about my last major job. I don't say "I work at" or "I am working at", but rather "I have worked at" or "My career has been in X". That puts it in the past with ambiguity about the present. From there I can talk about my old job for a long time. If they persist more, I pivot like politicians do. It's also easy to just say "I don't even want to think about my job."
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Default May 23, 2019 at 07:01 AM
  #8
You could say you are between jobs or projects.

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Default May 23, 2019 at 07:13 AM
  #9
I understand not wanting to be judged or having to explain why you are on disability. It frustrates me that there is such a stigma tied to mental illness. I find most everyone I tell is very supportive, but I always have a bit of fear they will judge me. I'm not on disability, but I've forced myself to be honest with the people I'm close to about what I'm experiencing. It has been easier than I made it out to be in my mind.

I'm a stay at home mom. It is the hardest job I've ever had. People judged me for leaving a great career where I was quickly climbing the ladder, but I wanted to stay home and raise and homeschool my children. I'm proud to tell people that's what I do and my family shows their gratitude for what I offer by being home. I definitely view it as a more than full time job, so I see no shame in you telling people that's what you do.
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Default May 23, 2019 at 03:14 PM
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I think your answer was perfect. Being a stay at home mom is a very respectable job and it’s not an easy one either. My dream job is to be a stay at home dog mom. Personally, I don’t think it’s anyone’s business if you are on disability.
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Default May 23, 2019 at 05:01 PM
  #11
I just tell people I'm a retired RN and writer. No need to go into why I'm "retired" or that I don't get paid for most of my writing.

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Default May 23, 2019 at 06:53 PM
  #12
I should say I'm a blogger and a photographer. I have proof of those. I can't say I'm retired because Ive never had any one job very long. Actually, the earlier my jobs, the longer duration they were. Sometimes I had 3 jobs at once.

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Default May 23, 2019 at 06:58 PM
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I either say I am a retired CPA because I was considered to be retired when I left or that I’m currently under a doctor’s care.
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Default May 24, 2019 at 08:55 AM
  #14
Thanks everyone for the responses. I feel bad saying I'm a stay at home because I don't feel like I'm doing anything! I'm too sick right now to be alone with my daughter.

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