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Poha
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Default May 23, 2019 at 09:37 PM
  #1
How quick can someone with bipolar go from a manic phase to depression?

Is it possible for someone with bipolar, during the very same day, to go from very happy to a sudden depression that last for weeks?

Here's the back story for those interested. It happened few years ago but I still feel the need to get answers because this was an emotional trauma for me. I'll try to keep it short with a timeline:

May 2016
A female coworker (we're both married) who is very reserved, out of nowhere makes the first step to start friendship with me. We play pool in the office, she shares her cooking with me. Lots of positive energy!

June 7th
After playing pool in office like everyday we keep the conversation online during working hours.

June 8th
We chat online the ENTIRE day during working hours! She invites me to go to a surprise "beautiful place" during lunch hour (it was simply an Indian supermarket). It's a long walk, we talk, laugh and get lost on the way so we never made it to the shop. That night she waits for me to finish work so that we leave together and talk some more.

June 9th
When I arrive to the office she surprised me with a very elaborate dish she cooked the night before. Within half an hour of eating my dish she says she wants us to go to supermarket next door so we go, she's so happy. She tells me stories and laughs to tears. We keep chatting online the ENTIRE day and we finally went to the "beautiful place" during lunch hour. That night she waits for me to finish work so that we leave together again. At that point I feel like we're the best friends in the world, nothing can take us apart.

June 10th
As soon as she arrived in the office she was so excited that barely had time to sit on her chair than she messaged me to write on a piece of paper so she can analyze my writing. She says that she has a gift for me and asks if I want it now or during lunch time. I say lunch time and we keep chatting online. Now just before lunch time she goes for a work meeting. She comes back shortly to her desk and she messaged me "I need to talk to you". She leaves her desk, I assume for lunch and she never came back. I was worried the whole afternoon and when came our usual leaving time her bag was still on her desk but I couldn't find her anywhere in the office.

From that day she went into depression that lasted for weeks. After she recovered from depression she has never been the same. No more chats, no more pool, no more shared cooking, no more supermarket, no more waiting for me to leave work. She never mentioned the gift she wanted to give me. When I asked her how come you go to supermarket alone and we don't go together like before she was always very defensive. Left without any explanation I felt hurt and worthless.

Many months later she told me that she didn't know what happened to her. The doctor said she had bipolar but she quickly dismissed and denied that. Also whenever I mentioned that she was not the same as the time we went to beautiful place she always denied. We were still friends after that she has never been the same has before. A lot more distant and passive-aggressive.

So is it possible for someone with bipolar to go from very happy to a sudden depression that last for weeks during the same day? Would that story suggest that my friend suffers from bipolar even though she would never admit?

Thank you!
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Default May 23, 2019 at 10:26 PM
  #2
Well sure it’s possible to have sudden mood shifts.

Does she have Bipolar ? Maybe or maybe she just runs hot and cold. Not all actions have a mental illness component.

Obviously she doesn’t want to discuss it , so my advice ? let it go.

I would love a job that I can play pool at and spend my time messaging others all the time LOL

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Default May 23, 2019 at 11:31 PM
  #3
Was there a love interest?
maybe she changed her mind.
The only way you can get diagnosed is to have a psychiatrist evaluate her and she be willing to be truthful about her past.
It sounds like she is not interested in finding out....
sorry you feel lost at this time.

good luck with her.
bizi

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Default May 24, 2019 at 07:15 AM
  #4
Yeah, it's possible to suddenly crash into a depression.

I agree with Christina, though, that not all actions have a mental illness component, so it could be anything. Bizi is also right that she doesn't sound interested in finding out, which I know makes things difficult for you.

Try not to pressure her into talking about it if she doesn't want to. Remember to respect her boundaries. If she wants to open up and ask for your support, then by all means, talk to her and offer her your support. But from my POV, it sounds like she is confused and overwhelmed -- possibly embarrassed, even -- hence the distancing and passive aggressiveness.
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Default May 24, 2019 at 07:49 AM
  #5
It sounds like you had a wonderful time with your friend while she was feeling "up." She showered you with attention. I'd love to have such an experience. Maybe you should just be happy with that. As Dr. Seuss says, "Don't cry because it's over -- smile because it happened." I personally don't go from hypomanic to depressed within a day. For me it takes weeks. But there is a wide variety in how people experience their bipolar. If your friend really does have bipolar, she will probably be "up" again so you can look forward to that.
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Default May 24, 2019 at 09:34 AM
  #6
I definitely think it's possible to go from hypomanic/manic to depressed in one day. I think with bipolar disorder, switches of all sorts can be possible. I know that for me, I've had similar super quick shifts, though they were usually from moderate to moderate or mild to mild and not severe to severe. Usually when they have been very rapid and fluctuating there has been an antidepressant involved. Or, I often transition via mixed episode, though I have also had long stretches of stability in between. Sometimes I even go from hypomanic or manic to stable and then back to hypomanic/stable again (or vice versa with depression).

I really like Whatever2013's, quote by Dr. Seuss.

If your friend does have bipolar disorder, or some other significant mental health issue, I hope she will soon gain more insight to it and acceptance. It's not healthy to deny, for many reasons.
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Default May 24, 2019 at 10:09 AM
  #7
I like the Dr. Seuss quote too. We forget all too often to just appreciate what we have had without longing for the next thing. Good reminder!
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Red face May 24, 2019 at 12:15 PM
  #8
Before diagnosis or meds I remember laughing then crying in an instant.
bizi

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Default May 24, 2019 at 04:49 PM
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can we say trigger ... can hit like a bolt of lightening ...

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Default May 24, 2019 at 05:12 PM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by bizi View Post
Before diagnosis or meds I remember laughing then crying in an instant.
bizi
Ive done that post- diagnosis: laughed and cried at the same time. Both emotions at once- weird.

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Default May 24, 2019 at 09:15 PM
  #11
Your kind and wise words make me feel better!


I don't think there was any love interest, she used to send me photos of her husband and making plans to meet her husband.


I don't know for sure if she has bipolar but I do know that a doctor diagnosed her with bipolar and she was taking medications. She has been stable for like 2 years now without medication so I really don't know.

I agree that the best thing is to move on and let go but without closure I find it extremely difficult. I'm not someone who makes friends easily so for me that having a sudden very intense friendship was a big deal. Then without any explanation its gone. This is still obsessing my thoughts years later.


The most realistic scenario I could think of is that our friendship started during a manic phase, so for me it was the normal her. But for her, she was not herself.
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