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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7 
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May 24, 2019 at 06:42 PM
#1
Others have said in my threads, in commiseration, they're having problems lately. Any getting better? I'm really not. I played with hardware and software all day, got my first pi computer, but no better. That's the sort of thing that's usually a huge changer for me. I'm numb and still really no better, regardless of things I learned. I'm tired of pretending I'm ok to others. They probably can tell anyway. I completely spilled my stuff to a sort of friend and she was floored. I say "sort of" because I only see her at her work when I'm a customer. I'm gonna shower and probably defile my liver tonight. At least I'll feel something.
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 Anonymous44076, Anonymous47845, bizi, fern46, raspberrytorte, Wander
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,897
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May 24, 2019 at 07:12 PM
#2
Not sure if I am 100% better but after ketamine treatments I am the best I have been in 5 years.
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| bizi, fern46
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
5 1,265 hugs
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May 24, 2019 at 07:24 PM
#3
I am definitely better than I was this time last year. I guess it all remains to be seen, but I am becoming self aware of my moods and thoughts and hopefully will be able to catch a problem earlier if it returns. Last time I was really unwell there were signs leading up to it, but I ignored them and then all of a sudden it seemed I had a breakdown. I didn't think I would find peace with myself again, but slowly I am and I feel more stable, it's not just that I am not depressed. Although, I still am unsure if I agree with my diagnoses but as long as I am improving that's what matters I guess. I hope things improve for you and others here at PC.
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| bizi, Daonnachd, fern46
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
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May 25, 2019 at 12:55 AM
#4
After four years of ECT I'm doing better. Not as well as I'd like all the time, but better is better.
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| fern46
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May 25, 2019 at 04:44 AM
#5
Sorry to hear you’re not doing so well. I’m a bit tired of pretending too. Pretending is exhausting.
I wish I could say I’m doing better, but the voices etc keep resurfacing. 
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| Daonnachd, fern46, Wander
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Member
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: California
Posts: 285
6 65 hugs
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May 25, 2019 at 08:39 AM
#6
I keep thinking I’m getting better then I slide back into mild depression or mixed. It’s not getting worse though...
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| Daonnachd
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: Under the noise floor
Posts: 18,579
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13 11.8k hugs
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May 25, 2019 at 06:34 PM
#7
I’m not as well as last year, but there was family drama last year as well. I guess that kept me from noticing it as much.
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| Daonnachd
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
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May 25, 2019 at 09:29 PM
#8
For me I am much better Bipolar-wise. It has be over three months of perfect stability now, which is the longest I have really ever had. Normally I always have mild to moderate symptoms between my thrice yearly major episodes. Now with my new med regime I have hope that I will stay stable for a significant period of time. I really hope things turn around for you. I know it is hell being trapped like that.
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2001
Location: SW Fla.
Posts: 1,160
22 1,268 hugs
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May 25, 2019 at 10:48 PM
#9
I feel like I am better. After doing therapy for almost six years I have a better sense of self awareness and of my emotions. I’m thankful for that. I only wish it didn’t take me THAT long to recognize it!! I think I was ready to quit therapy almost two years ago but I was way too attached... that part of therapy is unhealthy I’m my opinion. It’s so one sided. I wish I would have known that going into it.
__________________ "I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend You could cut ties with all the lies That you've been living in" |
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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: NY
Posts: 1,168
8 68 hugs
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May 25, 2019 at 10:54 PM
#10
Since starting clozapine I am doing way better. Mood episodes are very mild and psychosis is almost totally gone, apart from some random mild hallucinations. I was in such a bad way these past five years... there is hope.
__________________ dx: schizoaffective bipolar type; OCD; GAD rx: clozapine, clonazepam PRN |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
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May 26, 2019 at 07:25 AM
#11
I am much better. I am feeling much more like myself now that I'm only on a low dose of Geodon. I am thinking clearly and my mood has been stable since I got out of the hospital. My doctors have said it is possible that I might just suffer the one episode and go on to lead a normal life. I pray for that to be the case. Only time will tell. My doctor has also mentioned the possibility of weaning me off meds. I am scared of a relapse, but I don't want to be medicated if it isn't medically necessary. I'm exisiting in this weird state where I don't really have any answers for what happened to me and I just have to wait and see what happens next. There are a handful of diagnosis that cause psychosis and none of them really fit, so I'm basically flying blind. I'm grateful for the time I've had in 'remission' and I hope it continues.
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| MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,195
19 2,739 hugs
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May 26, 2019 at 01:09 PM
#12
The psychosis is gone thankfully
But I’m still a bit depressed after 20 days ip and 7 ect tax. I have ect again in two weeks. __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,903
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May 26, 2019 at 02:40 PM
#13
Better than I have been in a long long time. I'm still getting occasional hallucinations but I feel so much better.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7
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May 27, 2019 at 06:39 PM
#14
I'm not hallucinating, luckily, but I am hearing my own voice regularly telling me to end it and how worthless I am and that this will never end until it all ends.
Hallie, this may be the turning for the better for you. I hope it is. You deserve better. I don't. My caffeine "addiction" is getting worse. I consumed around 950+ mg today, in total. It did make exercise a lot more fun but slightly increased my resting heart rate to almost 80. The exercise buzz wore off very quickly though. I'm hurting but considering running to get more of that rush. Or, I could just go to bed. |
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| fern46
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,113
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May 27, 2019 at 07:00 PM
#15
I feel like my anxiety is the worst it’s been in years. I don’t have mood swings or depression though. My bipolar test was negative though. And I can function at my job just fine. My cat just ran away. So who knows.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden Last edited by Mountaindewed; May 27, 2019 at 07:15 PM.. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7
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May 27, 2019 at 07:10 PM
#16
Quote:
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,903
(SuperPoster!)
11 5,426 hugs
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May 27, 2019 at 07:32 PM
#17
I think you should rest tonight.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7
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May 27, 2019 at 08:42 PM
#18
Quote:
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| fern46
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,195
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May 27, 2019 at 11:35 PM
#19
I’m
Thankful my Psychosis is gone. The hallucinations were awful! I just wish this depression would ease up __________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Neurodivergent
Member Since Mar 2012
Location: Western US
Posts: 4,831
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May 28, 2019 at 03:18 AM
#20
I'm so much better than I was even a year ago, but especially five years ago. I was so messed up, having mixed episodes and not knowing from one day to the next what was going to happen. Now it seems like those times are long in the past, and it's because I'm well-medicated. Every now and then I need a little tweak, but I've basically been on the same ones since 2014 and they've worked miracles. I am very glad not to be where I was seven years ago when I was first diagnosed, that's for sure!
__________________ DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
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