Do you think anything triggered the start of your BP?

pacman_789 · May 30, 2019 at 03:25 PM

That's a good question, something I hope to delve into next time I see my therapist. I think for me, while I always had many of the bipolar traits, it really manifested itself when I went through a traumatic time in my life dealing with unwanted thoughts (I also have OCD). Those unwanted thoughts made me hate myself and think I was a total failure. I became obsessive about religion and trying to become a better person, engaging in strict religious rituals and abstaining from pleasurable activities. Then, when I began to heal and realize most of the thoughts were caused by the OCD, I went the opposite direction and started exhibiting hypomanic traits - allowing myself to do whatever I want (within certain bounds), became more self centered, giddy, confident, feeling like nothing I did was wrong. I ran from many of the rituals I had engaged in before, even things I used to enjoy like going to church. That causes me so much anxiety now to be around any kind of rules and regulations.

Phoenix_1 · May 31, 2019 at 01:24 PM

I believe it was bullying in elementary school that began my depression. The hypomania started in Junior High School, in grade 8.
Dad always quoted a nursery rhyme to me when I was small, so I might have been born bipolar. He quoted, "There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was very very good, and when she was bad she was horrid". Sounds bipolar to me. At the time, I had no idea why he kept saying that. I had no curls. I didn't know I had hypomania.
My grandfather and my aunt were bipolar, so he knew the signs.

Merlin · May 31, 2019 at 02:38 PM

My mom quoted the same rhyme to me, except I did have curls.

I think for me it was a combination of genetic predisposition, a traumatic childhood, and puberty.

BipolaRNurse · May 31, 2019 at 06:04 PM

I think I started developing bipolar when I was 6 and an incident happened that was traumatic to me and affected my life for a long time. Had a suicidal depression at 10 and another at 13. The mania didn't show up till much later, and I still don't know what triggered it. Then I had my first mixed episode at 53, which is when I was diagnosed BP. It was probably genetic; my mother had many symptoms of it when I was growing up but she went undiagnosed and untreated. She self-medicated with alcohol, as did I from age 17 to 33.

I really believe in kindling theory. My BP got worse and worse over time, and by the time it manifested itself I was almost too far gone to be helped. I spent a considerable amount of time manic, but the depression was worse and those mixed episodes were hell. (I say 'were' because I haven't had one in years.) Now that I'm on the right cocktail, I do very well for the most part and it seems like all that other stuff never happened. But I'm ever vigilant for s/sx of my disease because I never know if or when they'll return.

Travelinglady · May 31, 2019 at 06:25 PM

Definitely! It was taking an antidepressant.

Blue_Bird · Jun 01, 2019 at 01:19 PM

Genetics and probably severe stress. Mood disorders rampant on both sides of my family and schizophrenia on one side (an uncle) , I have schizoaffective bipolar type. My first episode was severe depression at like 14 years old but I wasn't dx'd with bipolar/schizoaffective until 18/19 after psychosis and manic episodes. I grew up homeless so that was extremely stressful so I guess I had it coming from both angles, genetic and stress wise and it really set off as a young adult which is pretty typical I guess

tecomsin · Jun 01, 2019 at 02:53 PM

I had had depression all my adult life but wasn't treated with any med for that until my 40s. It was an antidepressant (high dose of Celexa) that kicked me into a psychotic mania. Plus oodles of job stress, and many other kinds of stresses. I had also had a concussion a few months before that.

I was abused as a child. My father is and was an alcoholic with bipolar. I don't drink.

So there are many factors that contributed to my falling in. Anyone of them could have tipped me over the edge from basically well to definitely unwell.

Moose72 · Jun 01, 2019 at 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I was abused as a child. My father is and was an alcoholic with bipolar. I don't drink.

So there are many factors that contributed to my falling in. Anyone of them could have tipped me over the edge from basically well to definitely unwell.

Me, too.

VerMOZZica · Jun 03, 2019 at 11:50 PM

I think major life changes triggered my BP. I think I first felt depression in junior high . I didn`t recognize it as depression then. When I started college I also felt depression too. It was from that major life change too and disappointment . I felt that I would never amount to anything. I was diagnosed with major depression first. I wasn`t diagnosed with bipolar disorder until much later. So I think mine was triggered by major life changes

Blueberrybook · Jun 04, 2019 at 03:50 PM

Bad genes, sexual abuse, a verbally and physically abusive father I felt I could never win his approval, a shooting incident later in grad school, more sexual abuse. Pretty much lived my entire childhood in fear. Not helped by having no friends.

Aviza · Jun 04, 2019 at 07:11 PM

Yes. It started when my dad died, got worse following my divorce, custody battle, job loss. It got so bad before I got help, it devastated my life that was falling apart anyway.

BipolarMama31 · Jun 05, 2019 at 05:19 PM

Postpartum after my second child 100%. It was a traumatic birth. Plus family history.

zigokubana · Jun 06, 2019 at 04:37 PM

Bipolar runs in my family, so I had a genetic predisposition already. I was showing symptoms after being abused as a child, but the real catalyst for it was being bullied relentlessly in middle school after I came out to the wrong person (who proceeded to tell everyone in the grade). I had glass bottles thrown at my head on the bus, which gave me a mild concussion though luckily the bottles didn't break. I was physically beaten up and called all sorts of names, told I was going to hell, even got death threats. The school did nothing about it. Needless to say I finished middle school from home and did online high school. When I was on crutches after I broke my foot, a kid threw a dodgeball at me while I was standing off to the side, causing me to fall and sustain another injury.

The cruelty of those kids made things go from bad to worse. So my bipolar really became a problem around age 12-13. I was always type 2, but they didn't diagnose me until I was 18 because type 2 can't exist until you're an adult, apparently.

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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 47,983 (SuperPoster!) 13 22.9k hugs given	May 31, 2019 at 06:25 PM #25 Definitely! It was taking an antidepressant.
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Aviza Magnate Member Since Jan 2013 Location: Midwest Posts: 2,456 11 86 hugs given	Jun 04, 2019 at 07:11 PM #31 Yes. It started when my dad died, got worse following my divorce, custody battle, job loss. It got so bad before I got help, it devastated my life that was falling apart anyway. __________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P. Daughter: 20 Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs.
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BipolarMama31 Veteran Member Member Since Mar 2016 Location: North Carolina Posts: 535 8	Jun 05, 2019 at 05:19 PM #32 Postpartum after my second child 100%. It was a traumatic birth. Plus family history.
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