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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
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#1
Has anyone found ways that work for you to improve self worth? So far I have found that surrounding myself in people who treat me well and self care even when I feel like I don't deserve it help me. I think this is a core problem for me that goes back to having family and social issues as a kid that kind of followed me. Curious to hear what has worked for others if you'd like to share.
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
5 1,520 hugs
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#2
Fleurs, I've always had huge problems with self worth - as in, NONE.
Something that helps me, and this may be a very subjective, personal thing specific to me, is to identify a task and carry it out. I see the need for it, I plan it, I carry it to completion. For some reason that's a source of satisfaction and self worth to me. The point you mentioned above matters a whole lot too. It's almost impossible to feel much self worth if the people around you are constantly tearing you down or just as bad, ignoring you. ((HUGS)) |
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yellow_fleurs
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yellow_fleurs
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Magnate
Member Since May 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,316
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#3
My self worth has always been variable. It’s easy to see it when I’m well and hard to see when I’m depressed. Working, helping others and accomplishing other tasks helps me, as does affirmations from others.
__________________ It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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yellow_fleurs
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yellow_fleurs
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543
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#4
I have a problem with self worth as well. Positive affirmations help me. I’ve collected over 3,000 affirmations on Pinterest and I read several throughout the day and at particularly difficult times. I find this useful.
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: Under the noise floor
Posts: 18,579
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#5
I try to keep my environment as uplifting as possible. Inclusive and inspiring social media, hobbies that I feel accomplished about, and people who care.
My self worth is based on how I feel about myself without thinking about what others think. I work towards compassion, being non-judgmental, and being mindful. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Feb 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 651
7 335 hugs
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#6
I have struggled with this too.
As someone else said, I feel like my self worth changes with my mood. When well I think I have okayish self esteem that could use work but is fair; but when depressed i feel absolutely worthless. Haven’t really figured out how to fix that yet tho. __________________ “Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow’.” -Mary Anne Radmacher |
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Guest
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#7
Similar to what Jennifer_1967 said, my therapist has suggested affirmations and also to use a mantra. A simple short phrase about yourself that you can truly say you believe about yourself. While you could basically make it anything.. I think a more realistic idea has more of an impact than using a "fake it till you make it" approach. For example: I can say "I am worth being loved" all I want, but if I don't have a grain of belief in that, what good am I doing?
So, something basic, or even universal can be used. I often use "I am worthy of decency and respect". or "I am worthwhile"... deep down, I feel those are things everyone is and should have. Recite the mantra often. The rule of thumb for me was to say it every time I walked through a doorway. It's not a miracle cure.. but it does make you stop and evaluate yourself in a more objective light.. in good and bad circumstances. I could suggest that. Hope that helps! |
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yellow_fleurs
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Mopey, yellow_fleurs
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
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#8
Volunteering. For me it involves a 12 step program and going into the women's jails but it could be anything for anyone. Even offering to return someone's cart at the grocery store.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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yellow_fleurs
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AspiringAuthor, yellow_fleurs
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Wise Elder
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
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#9
Quote:
The ONLY thing that I can consistently feel good about is my art ability. I put the proof in sight. I'm very visual, which might help with that working. Affirmations don't work for me at all. The having supportive people around is useful too. I've only recently really experienced this. Basically, it helps a lot not to have people around who make you feel bad about yourself. (Don't need any help with THAT, right?!) __________________ ********* Mr. Robot Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside. --The Cure
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yellow_fleurs
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yellow_fleurs
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Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Denmark
Posts: 847
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#10
Feeling I’m needed. But mostly I don’t feel needed anywhere.
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Mopey, yellow_fleurs
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
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#11
I try to treat myself like a good friend and not call myself names I would not call other people. When I feel like I've done something unwise, I sometimes call myself stupid. But I'm not and I'm working on not judging myself so harshly.
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yellow_fleurs
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yellow_fleurs
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
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#12
I like to work on various projects to remind myself I am able to contribute to my family and myself. I also like to list out what I am grateful for. Focusing on gratitude helps me to realize just how much I have. I remind myself I am or at least was at one point worthy to receive and that helps at times when I am feeling shameful or worthless.
I also like to spend time with my children. Small people accept you easily and they value you for just spending time with them. They can lift your mood and remind you of the simple things in life. |
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