[pacman_789]

When you have a big decision to make such as changing jobs, do you tend to trust yourself more when you are in a depressive state or a manic state? I feel like sometimes, I’ll come to a totally different conclusion depending on my mood. As an example, I have a love hate relationship with my current job. I love it when I’m manic because there is a lot of variety and I always stay busy, but I hate it when I’m depressed because it can be stressful and I get overwhelmed easily. Then, when I’m between states, I don’t know what the right decision is lol. Keep in mind, I have bipolar 2, so my states are either depressive or hypomanic rather than full blown mania.

Ideally I'd like to be in a good state of mind if I'm having to make a big decision, but what is ideal rarely is reality. I have bipolar II like you, and I spend more time in depression than hypomania. Very long bouts of depression. I guess I would prefer depression -- because it's a feeling I've come to know well and understand, and in a lot of ways it helps me to err on the side of caution. Sure, I may lose opportunities because I am not likely to take risks, even if they are healthy, but I am less likely to cause problems down the road at least. When I'm hypomanic, I have a big tendency to start a lot of things I know I can't finish, and regard for money, time management, and necessity go out the window for enthusiasm and unbridled passion and energy. If I could share an experience. My dream has always been to be able to obtain a PhD. I wasn't hypomanic at the time, but increasingly became it during one summer. I decided I was going to get the financial assistance through loans and go for it. I had so much drive and ambition, and I wanted to start right away. I obsessed constantly over it and spent every waking moment reviewing documents, handbooks, websites etc until the classes started (it was an online for-profit university-- my first mistake, but I needed something without a required drive. I live in rural Kentucky). The first 4 weeks of class were awesome. I was praised for my work and my enthusiasm of the literature and eagerness to learn and work. Then, I hit a depression. Got into some trouble, and it all hit very rapidly. I just had to drop out because I couldn't handle it anymore. I really wish i had a more stable mood where I wouldn't have to worry about if the next week I'll be able to do something anymore.

So, when I am hypomanic I'm very much more prone to put myself in a position where I will volunteer my time and energy and heart and devote it to whatever it is that I'm interested in. I think I created more problems that way than any other. At least when I'm depressed -- I'm not actively adding difficulty to my life -- just perhaps not taking advantage of the opportunities I have. So, if making decisions with a clear "sound mind" isn't an option (and often isn't). I'd rather a big decision land in one of my bouts of depression (which last much longer and is more likely) than hypomania,

[pacman_789]

Thanks, Brentus, for sharing! What you said makes a lot of sense.