advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Daonnachd
Magnate
 
Daonnachd's Avatar
Daonnachd ...
 
Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
15 yr Member
3,379 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 21, 2019 at 06:22 PM
  #1
I'm no longer depressed, but I don't feel myself. I'm conflicted, yearning to be with family, but disinterested in all activities. I used to be an avid reader and voracious learner. Now, not only do I not read, but I can't recall basic knowledge. I'm lost. My memories and connections are gone. I'm on the edge of empty space.

__________________
><
Daonnachd is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
fern46, Gabyunbound, Innerzone, Jedi67, LadyShadow, Moose72, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wander

advertisement
Moose72
Silver Swan
 
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,417 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
2,512 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 21, 2019 at 06:24 PM
  #2
Maybe this will wear off? It sounds unfun.

__________________
Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Caplyta 42 mg
Ingrezza 80 mg
Ativan .5 mg 2x/day
Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day

Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Mania (April/May 2019)
Moose72 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Daonnachd
 
Thanks for this!
Daonnachd
Daonnachd
Magnate
 
Daonnachd's Avatar
Daonnachd ...
 
Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
15 yr Member
3,379 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 21, 2019 at 06:37 PM
  #3
It's strange because this morning was so good. The thing is ECT has taken a lot away from me and today I've had time to think about what I've lost. I think that's the root of what I'm feeling.

__________________
><
Daonnachd is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Innerzone, Unrigged64072835, Victoria'smom
Moose72
Silver Swan
 
Moose72's Avatar
Moose72 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,417 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
2,512 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 21, 2019 at 06:53 PM
  #4
As if ECT weren't enough torture on your brain, bipolar itself is too. Bipolar meds have done major damage to my liver. Its just rotten. Without meds Im manic or suicidal. Meh.

__________________
Wellbutrin XL 300 mg
Caplyta 42 mg
Ingrezza 80 mg
Ativan .5 mg 2x/day
Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day

Mania (December 2023)
Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023)
Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021)
Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021)
Mania (April/May 2019)
Moose72 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Daonnachd, Guiness187055, Jedi67
yellow_fleurs
Grand Poohbah
yellow_fleurs has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
5 yr Member
1,265 hugs
given
Default Jun 21, 2019 at 07:11 PM
  #5
I am sorry, that must be really tough. I have had some memory problems in my adult life and it's probably milder but it makes me feel disconnected from myself and identity a bit. Do you journal at all? Maybe writing things down so you can keep track of your day to day life and reflect back on it might help? Are there any activities that don't require too much learning, like perhaps volunteering, that could make you feel like you are presently connected? What about audio books if you can't read right now? I am just throwing some ideas out there in case anything seems useful, although mostly just want to say sorry you are experiencing this.
yellow_fleurs is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Daonnachd
 
Thanks for this!
Daonnachd, Iloivar
Daonnachd
Magnate
 
Daonnachd's Avatar
Daonnachd ...
 
Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: Napa Valley
Posts: 2,116
15 yr Member
3,379 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 21, 2019 at 08:15 PM
  #6
Thank you, Yellow Fleurs, for the ideas and the expression of concern. I appreciate it.

__________________
><
Daonnachd is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
yellow_fleurs
HALLIEBETH87
Legendary
 
HALLIEBETH87's Avatar
HALLIEBETH87 Tired
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,177
15 yr Member
2,739 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 21, 2019 at 08:48 PM
  #7
I did 15 sessions of ect and it really messed with me. Meds were only thing that made me better

__________________
Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety
OCD

celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin
HALLIEBETH87 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Daonnachd
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 21, 2019 at 10:59 PM
  #8
I’m sorry your feeling this way. I have never had ECT so I can only imagine how it feels and what it takes from you. I agree that writing things down might be helpful.

Give yourself a big pat on the back , your response in the daily check in showed you have had a busy productive day.

I really have no grand advice , I feel for you when you post about the struggles you face with ECT. The sun is shining and I hope you find some stability and just enjoy days where Bipolar is in the back ground and not front stage.


__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Daonnachd, Jedi67
 
Thanks for this!
Daonnachd
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 22, 2019 at 06:05 PM
  #9
I’ve had a similar feeling due to ECT, but I haven’t had as much as you have. After my last bout of 12 sessions it went so badly that I’ve refused to have it again. That was November last year and my brain is still struggling. My memory is bad, both storing and recalling. Of course meds can do this to people too.

I can understand why you would feel so lost. You have had so many more sessions than I. Is it the only treatment option you have left? I believe that in most cases our brains can heal. Have you heard of Neuro-plasticity? There are memory games we can play to help repair our brains. I am currently looking into this myself. Hang in there. There is hope you won’t feel so lost.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Daonnachd
 
Thanks for this!
Daonnachd
Innerzone
Wise Elder
 
Innerzone's Avatar
Innerzone FML
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
10 yr Member
31.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 22, 2019 at 09:48 PM
  #10
I have no advise, only hugs. Hope you come around to feeling like yourself soon.

__________________
*********
Mr. Robot
Lost
Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.
--The Cure
Innerzone is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Daonnachd
 
Thanks for this!
Daonnachd
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:58 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.