Life is just messed up atm

So, where do I begin. About 3 mths ago I found out my wife had an affair with the guy we work with. Needless to say, we've been on a rocky patch because she won't stop talking to him and get him out of our lives. Finally Monday night I told her I'm done if she doesn't get rid of him. This morning however, she agreed to get him out of her life and just work on us (we have other problems that were there before him that she says were the reasons she strayed but I can't begin to work on them until he's gone.)

Well...

Since I haven't been home since Monday and I've had to rely on my family for a place to stay and a car to get me anywhere, my dumb *** decided to go buy a car so I wouldn't have to rely on anyone. We had already talked about getting a second car because it's been hell because when we fight one storms off and the other is left stranded wherever they are. Needless to say, my wife is usually the one who takes off in the car. Seeing as how we agreed to get a car (I signed the one car we have over to her so I was the one without a car) I took it upon myself to get a car. When we were on talking terms we had agreed to get a used cheap car. Well, since we've been fighting about this for about 2mths and I told her it was me or him and she didn't pick me I took it as it was over. She made her choice and we were done.... or so I thought.

Because of all the fighting and the emotional highs and lows I've felt through all this my bipolar has been in less control and I'm starting to see the signs of hypomania in the horizon. The icing on the cake was that the "cheap" car ended up being $33k!! The payment is covered by the pay raise that I got that starts on Monday and it will have no negative effect on our monthly income in regards to what we have to pay the bills with. My wife on the other hand, says we could have used that extra money to pay more to the bills and get out of debt sooner.

I didn't think of that and it never even crossed my mind until she pointed it out. I made an impulsive decision based on the assumption that we were done and that I should do something good for myself. I've been telling her that I don't feel right and atm I'm between pdocs. We live in a large military town and found a place that provides therapy and med management short term for free and I've met the med manager once already but she didn't do anything. I don't see her until a wk from now and I dunno if this car purchase is a sign of what is to come.

My wife says that I should up the risperdone 1 mg since I have extra (I used to be on 2mg but I'm currently on 1mg) and see if that helps because I don't want it to get worse.

I’m sorry you’re struggling so much! When our spouses are unfaithful it can be very hard to come back from. I hope things level out for you soon and you can work things out with your wife, if that’s what you choose to do.

Can you return the car? get a reliable under $5k car? I wouldn't up your meds on your own unless they're prn meds. I'm sorry about your wife.

Agreed. You can (usually) return the car if it’s within 7 days or so. Some dealerships may have a longer grace period, so it’s worth asking about.

I’m sure you’ll have to pay a restocking fee etc, but it’s much better than sticking with payments for a $33k car.

Sorry to hear about your family situation, though. That’s incredibly unfair to you.

I'm so sorry you're in a rough patch, Lacuna. I hope you are able to work through the issue, if that is what you want and that the car was not a sign of things to come. Do you have any other symptoms? Do you have a PRN? Can you call your pdoc to ask about any adjustment? Or do they give you some leeway with that yourself? (Mine is fine with reasonable self adjustments because I have a good history with insight and being responsible about meds. So I figure this is true for some others as well). If you want to, look into returning the car. (I know nothing about that, so defer to others' knowledge about the do-ability of that.)

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Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure