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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
6 78 hugs
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#1
God, I hate bipolar.
Today, a petty thing threw my mood off for pretty much the rest of the day, and I was so upset and unhappy, I didn't go with H and my daughter to see 4th of July fireworks. Not that I really enjoy going, but I know it upset H He completely does not get bipolar, especially the mood swings, and now I've got even crazier ups, downs (more extreme) since I had those iron infusions a month ago. I know it was my decision not to go, but I still HATE that my daughter, H will remember me this way on a lot of holiday or other occasions (festivals and such). Hopefully, H won't try to guilt me about it tomorrow, I'm already kicking and loathing myself to pieces. If I'd gone though, I would have been an absolute grinch, everything I was saying rubbed somebody the wrong way, I was nearly in tears/screaming or both, and really, I don't like family fights, none of us do. Bipolar sucks so much!!!! __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
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Anonymous46341, Jedi67, raspberrytorte, Victoria'smom, wildflowerchild25
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#2
Do you spend good time with your daughter and husband other times? If so, I wouldn't feel that guilty. It can be good for a child/teen to have alone time sometimes with one parent without the other.
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
Posts: 2,899
6 78 hugs
given |
#3
Yes, I'm alone with my daughter a lot. We don't always go places (though sometimes we do like a treat at Starbucks), but nothing that really sticks out as special. I guess I did chaperone her class to the zoo though never again, they leave you alone with 5 kids you don't know and your own kid and it's well, let's meet back here at 2. They had some paths blocked off for constructing/moving animals, and I got us lost, though all the kids, including my daughter, thought that was hilarious. Otherwise, we just go places like the library or my sister's house to see her cousins, maybe to the used book store, or for ice cream if I've got a coupon. She used to go grocery shopping with me before she started school and does seem to miss it, but I've had to do curbside pickup because of fatigue and to save money (not in store, don't see the display, not tempted to buy).
I think with me it's every day type stuff we do. At home, I'm teaching her to cook, bake, do the dishes in the dishwasher (cycle stuff on mine is confusing), do the laundry, fold clothes, or I sometimes help her clean up her room. I feel like I'm just teaching, telling, not doing anything special. It tends to be H who takes her places like fancy gardens, festivals (I hate festivals), 4th of July fireworks. I have to be feeling really, really good to actually go to stuff like that, and sometimes, I do go, it's just very hard on me. Even eating at a pizza place with arcade games, H is the one who goes off with her to play the games (I also hate arcade games) while I sit in one of the eating areas, reading or playing on my iPad. Often, I feel she remembers the fun, exciting stuff she does with him, and not the boring stuff like learning how to do laundry with me. Even before she started school, since she wasn't in pre-school, I was the one teaching her how to hold a pencil, having her practice writing the abc's, her name, learning the address & phone numbers, etc. I suppose teaching is important but it isn't always fun or exciting for the child. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, , propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, omeperazole I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. --Robert Frost |
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Anonymous46341
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