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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: NY
Posts: 1,168
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Jul 06, 2019 at 07:26 PM
#1
I've had a really rough week of depression, suicidal thoughts, and psychosis. I feel like I'm finally coming up for air and now I can't remember anything that happened. I feel like I've totally lost a week of my life.
Anyone else experience memory loss during episodes? __________________ dx: schizoaffective bipolar type; OCD; GAD rx: clozapine, clonazepam PRN |
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 Jedi67, still_crazy, Sunflower123
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,230
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Jul 06, 2019 at 07:30 PM
#2
Yes. My therapist tells me it is often a gift although he usually will give me at least some idea of what I missed (I don't think he tells me every detail when it has been bad). I believe him but I do find it frustrating.
Not to sound like a broken record but the clozapine could contribute; it's so sedating when adjusting to a new dose. The last time I increased my dose it was 4 day pulse and I don't/didn't remember any of those 4 days except that I slept a lot for about a week. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Western, NY
Posts: 575
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Jul 07, 2019 at 11:39 AM
#3
During episodes I certainly do lose my memory of things, people and places. It's like a type of "blackout" I hate it. I also forget things I've read or seen on TV as well as peoples's names and such. I do have some lucid days when I get enough rest and feeling more level. Then my memory re-adjusts itself.
__________________ "Do or Do Not. There is No Try" - Yoda, Jedi Master  Diagnosed 2008 Bipolar II with Mixed States, Rapid Cycling with Anxiety / Depression: Meds: Zoloft, Latuda, Gabapentin & Depakote. |
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we are one
Member Since Jul 2013
Location: Ky , USA
Posts: 3,015
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Jul 07, 2019 at 02:18 PM
#4
someone is always telling me things I have no memory or saying or doing , and forgetting things they told me , ... may just be old age though ...
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: USA
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Jul 07, 2019 at 04:47 PM
#5
Yes. I remember everything I did while I was manic until the psychosis set in. I blacked out for a lot of that period. My behavior was scary and extreme. I remember bits and pieces of it now. Most of the time something like a dream or a song will trigger a new memory. I am shocked every time something new comes back to me. I still cannot believe half of the stuff I said and did. It was like I was possessed. My poor husband had a front row seat for all of it, but he keeps it to himself. He doesn't like talking about it and he doesn't want to trigger me. He just confirms my memories as they come back to me. I would give anything to rewind time and not put him through what he had to endure while I was sick. The same goes for my children. They only saw some of it, but I traumatized them. They bring up things I said sometimes and I'm horrified each time.
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
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Jul 07, 2019 at 04:49 PM
#6
I don't really black out, but when I'm depressed, my short-term memory gets really bad and I can't remember what I need to do that day or concentrate. I'll even forget things like how to get home from work.
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: usa
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Jul 07, 2019 at 04:49 PM
#7
I forget a LOT about my episodes especially with psychosis
__________________ Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type PTSD generalized anxiety OCD celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: United States of America
Posts: 1,792
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Jul 08, 2019 at 08:49 PM
#8
i had cognitive problems and memory issues when on neuroleptics..which i need...until i started taking loads of antioxidants and such (Orthomolecular). im still a tad slowed down, but...no tics, stiff gait, dysphoria, major memory problems, concentration issues, etc...and i take a somewhat higher than normal dose of Abilify. true story.
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Poohbah
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: NY
Posts: 1,168
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Jul 08, 2019 at 09:55 PM
#9
My memory actually got a lot better since starting clozapine. It's just this past week that I've had issues.
__________________ dx: schizoaffective bipolar type; OCD; GAD rx: clozapine, clonazepam PRN |
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