[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm still waiting for my referral to the GI specialist. My real doctor is only working part-time in the clinical practice this year and so this is being handled by an NP and while she was great responding until now suddenly I'm waiting and waiting. She asked what hospital I wanted referred to Monday and I haven't heard anything since. I sent an email today asking for an update but didn't hear yet. I don't know if there is a problem because I requested the hospital where my pdoc is (because if I have to have a scope I want it where she can talk to anesthesia regarding my MAOI restrictions) and that's not local. It's a big hospital and they surely refer there but they have local options that I'm sure they use first.

I don't know. Hopefully I'll hear tomorrow. I'm just frustrated now.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Why on earth would a therapist do that? You were talking about how doctors don't believe you and THAT was the response? "psychosomatic pain?"

I am very sorry that happened to you! Definitely not very validating!

I also deal with a lot of pain and have for many years now. I remember when I'd had a couple of doctors who were quite ignorant and I took the brunt of their ignorance.

It's bad enough when you are trying to cope with very real pain, without the supposed "helpers" invalidating you and your very real story. Your reality -- living in pain -- deserves proper acknowledgement, complete validation, appropriate care and a lot of compassion.

When reading about "healing" in Native American tribes, the emphasis was put upon allowing the person to tell his/her story, in detail, while the whole community gathered 'round and had listened deeply. This act was an important part of healing, including with some of the most difficult cases of PTSD.

This deep listening and this type of support can absolutely help one on his/her healing path. This is compassion and validation... and Love!

And so, if you feel unheard , misunderstood, invalidated, please do tell your therapist. It's critical you feel heard, understood and fully validated. Therapists are human and do make mistakes. Yet, this is a very important challenge for you -- dealing with your pain.

I do hear you. I am very sorry you must deal with pain. Many of us here also deal with physical pain. Please do reach out on this anytime!

Much Love ~

WC thank you SO much for this kind post. It made me feel heard and validated which means a lot. And thank you for sharing about the healing practice of telling ones story.
As to my therapist I know she has my best interests at heart and did make sure to let me know she believed my pain was real (just maybe psychosomatic) and if I didn't think I was being taken seriously to try another doctor. However, for some reason, perhaps a combo of my obsessive compulsive traits plus symptoms doctors seem to not take too seriously, she has started to think it might be psychosomatic. She asked me what I thought my body was trying to tell me for example.

I believe psychosomatic pain is valid pain, however this started with infectious diseases and inflammation. So, I did find the conversation a bit upsetting as it makes me question my experience, which is the same way I felt with doctors. You are probably right I should let her know how it made me feel. I have to say my pain has greatly improved at the present and I am very fortunate in that sense, especially compared to what some people have to deal with. I am sorry that so many people have to deal with it. Sending compassion to anyone needing it.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I'm still waiting for my referral to the GI specialist. My real doctor is only working part-time in the clinical practice this year and so this is being handled by an NP and while she was great responding until now suddenly I'm waiting and waiting. She asked what hospital I wanted referred to Monday and I haven't heard anything since. I sent an email today asking for an update but didn't hear yet. I don't know if there is a problem because I requested the hospital where my pdoc is (because if I have to have a scope I want it where she can talk to anesthesia regarding my MAOI restrictions) and that's not local. It's a big hospital and they surely refer there but they have local options that I'm sure they use first.

I don't know. Hopefully I'll hear tomorrow. I'm just frustrated now.

I do not blame you for being beyond frustrated with all you have been through!

i do hope she comes through for you, immediately!

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Rheumatologist is putting me on a run of steroids to see if it will help the pain.

I just feel sick sick sick.

We leave on Tuesday for Florida #HellTrip

Oh my gosh I am so sorry you are experiencing all of this! Instead of this trip you should be totally relaxing, cared for and not have to deal with any nonsense until you feel better.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Phoenix_1

I wonder if I'm falling into another depression. I want to sleep all day but I can't fall asleep so I lay on my bed in the dark.
I thought I was stable, but maybe not.
I pushed myself to walk to the drug store to buy hair colour and other things. It's senior discount day on Thursday. I didn't want to go but I did. It's a mile and a half there and back. It's a beautiful day. 23°C and sunny.
I just had a shower and that was incredibly hard too. I haven't showered since Monday and that's unusual for me.
I'll have to watch this.

Depression can sneak up I've found. In retrospect I was a bit depressed for the last few months, not concentrating at work, a bit apathetic, not doing my dishes for awhile, but I didn't even realize at the time. I hope it doesn't last long or get worse for you.

[Wild Coyote]

And so ... I've dealt with .gov in person today. Oh my! I don't have the words!

I am still trying to process it all.

I know one thing! I am contacting my representatives in Washington.

Yikes!

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

And so ... I've dealt with .gov in person today. Oh my! I don't have the words!

I am still trying to process it all.

I know one thing! I am contacting my representatives in Washington.

Yikes!

That sounds like it must have been a frustrating experience! I hope you got whatever it was you needed done in the end?

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Sleep is still screwy, BUT I got a total of 7 hours of sleep last night. It's getting better!

Tonight, I'll be taking 1/4 of a tablet of rexulti rather than 1/2. Hopefully my sleep isn't *too* messed up after that, but I fear it might be for a while... Oh well. It'll pass; I'm sure of it.

Mood is pretty good as well. I think it helps that I'm taking 2 weeks to wean off rexulti rather than go cold turkey off it like I've done in the past. Literally have no withdrawal symptoms this time!

Anyway, I'm keeping myself busy at work and at home. Doing loads of stuff while my computer runs a bunch of software (that takes foreverrrr). Overall relaxing day. Had a mug of hot cocoa, too. Found some cocoa mix in my cabinets.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Rheumatologist is putting me on a run of steroids to see if it will help the pain.

I just feel sick sick sick.

We leave on Tuesday for Florida #HellTrip

( sits with you)

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

And so ... I've dealt with .gov in person today. Oh my! I don't have the words!

I am still trying to process it all.

I know one thing! I am contacting my representatives in Washington.

Yikes!

Some of them are real a$ $ holes

[Wander]

Yesterday my niece told another student that she was going to kill herself. She is fifteen. Thankfully that student told a teacher and my sister took my niece to hospital. After evaluation she was sent home. This morning she has an appointment with a specialist psychologist. In the last few months my sister has taken her to many but my niece struggles to say more than a few words. She has ADHD and autism, and seems depressed. I’m so scared for her and hope this new psychologist who specialises in these areas can help her. I feel so helpless. I hurt for her as I know what it’s like to suffer mentally as a teen. She’s such a beautiful girl.

Apart from exhaustion and a lack of motivation I am doing ok. Life has worn me down but I have hope I will rebuild and get my groove back. I’m now off to drag myself out for a walk. Hope everyone is doing ok.

So like, I can’t sleep. I’m not tired. I’ve been up since 4am yesterday and it’s now almost 1:30am. Wtf.

This is awful because I’m going to end up falling asleep at probably like 3am when I have my therapy appt early in the morning.

My stomach has been growling all night long as well. It’s been forever since I last ate. Ugh. I. Need. Food. Now. Going nearly 48 hrs without eating is killing me. And why do I have energy? I shouldn’t be having energy when I haven’t eaten!! Maybe I should find a food place that’s open at 2am, but I don’t know what’s open at this hour. Maybe 24/7 gas station?

[Pookyl]

Feeling waves of nausea constantly. I’m not sure if it’s detox or something else.
My dr was happy to plod along and see how I went drug free (partly to start from scratch). So my brain did the switcheroo and I ended up having a manic episode two days ago that thankfully was short-lived. Unfortunately as I contemplated my flying abilities I was put back on Saphris and Seroquel XR. My hubby was so disappointed

Well, I’m still wide awake at 3:30am. I ended up not getting any food because the only place open is IHOP, and they’re just awful.

I took a shower to relax. Felt nice. Not sure what I’m going to do now because I feel like I’ve watched every YouTube video ever.

Maybe I’ll go to Dunkin’ Donuts when they open and then head to therapy. Can’t hurt to eat a donut or bagel, since they’re only like $1 ish.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Well, I’m still wide awake at 3:30am. I ended up not getting any food because the only place open is IHOP, and they’re just awful.

I took a shower to relax. Felt nice. Not sure what I’m going to do now because I feel like I’ve watched every YouTube video ever.

Maybe I’ll go to Dunkin’ Donuts when they open and then head to therapy. Can’t hurt to eat a donut or bagel, since they’re only like $1 ish.

I hope you get some sleep some Blue.

[Wild Coyote]

Had cut back on night time Seroquel. Am fed up with the weight gain, etc. This is the 3rd day I have been awake, as in no sleep. i see pdoc today. I really do not want to go back on Seroquel, yet It is the only med which allow me to sleep.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Had cut back on night time Seroquel. Am fed up with the weight gain, etc. This is the 3rd day I have been awake, as in no sleep. i see pdoc today. I really do not want to go back on Seroquel, yet It is the only med which allow me to sleep.

You seem to be caught between a rock and a hard spot. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I hope the pdoc visit goes well and you get some much needed rest soon.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I hope you get some sleep some Blue.

I slept from 4:30 until 5, and then 5:30 until 6. So, a whopping 1 hr of broken sleep.

Oh well. Better than nothing I suppose. I’ll take it.

[Blue_Bird]

I'm doing well, sleeping good. Stable. I'm ready for summer to be over, don't like hot weather. I got a haircut recently and it feels really good to have it much shorter. My ceiling is currently being repaired finally. I'm hoping for an opening in the new apartment place I'm wanting to get into, it would be so much easier on me financially and it's a really nice place. I want to get a part time job or volunteer, but I want to be moved in to a new place before I start that, I don't want stress of all that to start all together at once, not sure how I'd handle that. So I think waiting is a good idea, I'll put some serious though into what I want to do. I've never worked before because I ended up on SSI at 18, I'm 25 now. I've volunteered before and enjoyed that. I will probably do that some more to get experience

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I slept from 4:30 until 5, and then 5:30 until 6. So, a whopping 1 hr of broken sleep.

Oh well. Better than nothing I suppose. I’ll take it.

Sorry you're struggling with sleep hope you're able to get some soon. Did you ever get anything to eat?

My dad is in the hospital again because of suicidal depression and alcohol detox. This is his third hospitalization in the last four or so months. He was taken to the ER a total of six times during this period, but left the ER against recommendation a few of the times.

It has been suggested by a few mental health professionals that a diagnosis of Behavioral Variant Frontotemporal Lobe Dementia should be looked into. That's not sure, but we may ask that my father receive tests for that. No matter what it is, the time might be drawing near that my sister and/or brother take permanent control of his affairs. I will call the hospital later this morning to try to get a call back from his doctor. I will only go there if the doctor prefers a face-to-face. The doctor may be unable to tell me things, but should agree to listen.

I hate the hospital my dad is in. I won't go into why.