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Hummingbird1950
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Member Since: May 2011
Location: Washington DC area
Posts: 219
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#21
Hello Phoenix ~ I'm very very sorry to hear you have Agoraphobia as well It is crippling in nature.
I tried to go out with some neighbors awhile back. We were supposed to go to one pharmacy and I needed to pick up a prescription. then I thought we would come straight back home. Then they all wanted to go out to lunch. I spent most of the lunch in the restroom shivering in fear. I never ate my lunch. After lunch, they wanted to visit some shops that were close by. So, that one trip turned into an overwhelming experience for me and hours later they brought me home. It took days to recover from that. Now, I arrange for volunteer transportation to take me one place, which they do and bring me back immediately. As long as I know I am going to a doctors appointment, if I have a panic attack, they will know what to do for me and I can never travel more than a mile from home. So, my social calendar is only doctors appts and out to pharmacies now. Last week, even going to a doctors appt, by the time I got outside my door, I was shaking so badly, I could barely stand up. You are soo lucky your boyfriend understands and will take you where you need to go, soo very lucky !! It's the safety thing, I agree. When I drove, at least I could flee to my car. Now that I no longer own a car and can't drive, when I leave my home, there is no safe place to flee to. Birdie Quote:
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Member
Hummingbird1950
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Member Since: May 2011
Location: Washington DC area
Posts: 219
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#22
I agree with you. You captured the wording very well "Wanting to make and keep friends, but never having periods of stability long enough to do it - and it's lonely"
I understand as this is my life too Birdie Quote:
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Fuzzybear
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,301
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#23
I sometimes think my filter is working and it isn't. So socializing is often hurtful and destabilising to me also.
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BrokenWing60
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Member Since: Sep 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 23
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#24
Socializing is a epic energy drain for me. The anxious days leading up to a known social outing, appointment & the day that follows. Thought I was the only one like this. So glad to find I’m not the only person feeling like this... And the friend thing doesn’t happen for me either, I think deep down I’m afraid of letting anyone get close enough to really see behind my Smile...
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FluffyDinosaur
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Member Since: Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#25
Same here. Socializing is a huge energy drain, and just knowing how badly it's going to drain me is often enough to send me into a mood episode if there's a big event coming that I can't get out of. "Luckily" I have schizoid features next to my BD, so I don't feel a need for friends and I don't really get lonely. The pressure to socialize comes mostly from work-related events. I used to think my dislike for socializing was due to the schizoid features, but now this thread has me wondering whether it might have something to do with the BD as well, even though I don't yet understand the mechanics of how that would work.
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bpcyclist
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Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#26
I don't socialize anymore. I don't really have friends. Well, I have one here in Portland and one in Seattle, three hours away. I need to try to get out and meet some new people.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#27
Socializing is entirely exhausting to me. It's nice, a couple of times a year, to go to lunch with an old friend. Besides that...nah.
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Poohbah
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Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Here and There
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#28
So, I've made a few attempts recently to "get out, and meet people" but it hasn't gone well...and I'm just coming out of the very dark depression that was the result.
I should just officially give up, just be grateful for my husband and my cat, and focus on myself, and making this small life as great as I can for myself. I'm sure I will keep trying though I'm not sure if I'm an eternal optimist or I am the definition of insanity ...you know trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I seem to be very good at flogging dead horses. Last edited by lightly toasted; Mar 11, 2020 at 12:57 PM.. |
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#29
I don't know how I missed this thread, when it was originally posted.
I do like to socialize, for the most part, but when with new people I can get extremely nervous/anxious. Sometimes it shows by me sweating a lot. Sometimes I go into "Star of the Show" mode. But when I become more comfortable around a person (or persons), everything becomes easier and nicer. |
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Moose72
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Member Since: Jan 2008
Location: USA
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#30
Quote:
I've gotten odd stares from how I act when my filter is "off". But if I'm manic or hypomanic, I just continue on and people tend to step away from me. That's me doing it to myself, not that I don't like people. Sometimes, though, I get where I can't stand being in public at all. All the people around me are too much! Like at a concert or a restaurant. the physical closeness of people gets to me AND on top of that all the talking at the same time- its like I can hear each individual voice and its a cacophony of noise that gets inside me somehow. Physically, I can't stand it and I get overwhelmed quickly. Generally, though, I am an extrovert- except when I'm not. I'm usually seeking feedback. That's why I like these boards- lots of feedback to get and to be given. __________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) Last edited by Moose72; Mar 11, 2020 at 03:14 PM.. |
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