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Hummingbird1950
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Default Aug 20, 2019 at 09:50 AM
  #21
Hello Phoenix ~ I'm very very sorry to hear you have Agoraphobia as well It is crippling in nature.


I tried to go out with some neighbors awhile back. We were supposed to go to one pharmacy and I needed to pick up a prescription. then I thought we would come straight back home. Then they all wanted to go out to lunch. I spent most of the lunch in the restroom shivering in fear. I never ate my lunch. After lunch, they wanted to visit some shops that were close by. So, that one trip turned into an overwhelming experience for me and hours later they brought me home. It took days to recover from that.

Now, I arrange for volunteer transportation to take me one place, which they do and bring me back immediately. As long as I know I am going to a doctors appointment, if I have a panic attack, they will know what to do for me and I can never travel more than a mile from home. So, my social calendar is only doctors appts and out to pharmacies now.


Last week, even going to a doctors appt, by the time I got outside my door, I was shaking so badly, I could barely stand up.

You are soo lucky your boyfriend understands and will take you where you need to go, soo very lucky !! It's the safety thing, I agree. When I drove, at least I could flee to my car. Now that I no longer own a car and can't drive, when I leave my home, there is no safe place to flee to.

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Originally Posted by Phoenix_1 View Post
Hummingbird1950, I can relate to your agoraphobia. I've been agoraphobic since a really bad marriage 10 years ago. I guess I just can't trust people so I don't let people get close. I wish I could. I have 1 friend, my boyfriend.
My big trips outside by myself are usually to the doctor or pharmacy. I don't go anywhere else by myself. I don't own a car, so I walk or take the bus. Thank goodness for my boyfriend. He takes me shopping every week. I feel safe with him at least.
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Default Aug 20, 2019 at 09:54 AM
  #22
I agree with you. You captured the wording very well "Wanting to make and keep friends, but never having periods of stability long enough to do it - and it's lonely"

I understand as this is my life too

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I guess this is a question of never having found the right meds or therapy, that will keep me stable for more than a few months at a time. The longest was Tegretol, and it kept me almost normal, but after 5 months, it pooped out. That was back in 2002.

Maybe this is a common problem with us bipolar afflicted? Wanting to make and keep friends, but never having periods of stability long enough to do it - and it's lonely.
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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 03:21 PM
  #23
I sometimes think my filter is working and it isn't. So socializing is often hurtful and destabilising to me also.


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Default Dec 06, 2019 at 02:41 AM
  #24
Socializing is a epic energy drain for me. The anxious days leading up to a known social outing, appointment & the day that follows. Thought I was the only one like this. So glad to find I’m not the only person feeling like this... And the friend thing doesn’t happen for me either, I think deep down I’m afraid of letting anyone get close enough to really see behind my Smile...
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Default Dec 06, 2019 at 03:56 AM
  #25
Same here. Socializing is a huge energy drain, and just knowing how badly it's going to drain me is often enough to send me into a mood episode if there's a big event coming that I can't get out of. "Luckily" I have schizoid features next to my BD, so I don't feel a need for friends and I don't really get lonely. The pressure to socialize comes mostly from work-related events. I used to think my dislike for socializing was due to the schizoid features, but now this thread has me wondering whether it might have something to do with the BD as well, even though I don't yet understand the mechanics of how that would work.
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Default Dec 06, 2019 at 04:22 AM
  #26
I don't socialize anymore. I don't really have friends. Well, I have one here in Portland and one in Seattle, three hours away. I need to try to get out and meet some new people.

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Default Dec 06, 2019 at 11:56 AM
  #27
Socializing is entirely exhausting to me. It's nice, a couple of times a year, to go to lunch with an old friend. Besides that...nah.

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Default Mar 11, 2020 at 12:39 PM
  #28
So, I've made a few attempts recently to "get out, and meet people" but it hasn't gone well...and I'm just coming out of the very dark depression that was the result.

I should just officially give up, just be grateful for my husband and my cat, and focus on myself, and making this small life as great as I can for myself.

I'm sure I will keep trying though I'm not sure if I'm an eternal optimist or I am the definition of insanity ...you know trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I seem to be very good at flogging dead horses.

Last edited by lightly toasted; Mar 11, 2020 at 12:57 PM..
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Default Mar 11, 2020 at 12:59 PM
  #29
I don't know how I missed this thread, when it was originally posted.

I do like to socialize, for the most part, but when with new people I can get extremely nervous/anxious. Sometimes it shows by me sweating a lot. Sometimes I go into "Star of the Show" mode. But when I become more comfortable around a person (or persons), everything becomes easier and nicer.
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Default Mar 11, 2020 at 03:02 PM
  #30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I sometimes think my filter is working and it isn't. So socializing is often hurtful and destabilising to me also.


I've gotten odd stares from how I act when my filter is "off". But if I'm manic or hypomanic, I just continue on and people tend to step away from me. That's me doing it to myself, not that I don't like people.


Sometimes, though, I get where I can't stand being in public at all. All the people around me are too much! Like at a concert or a restaurant. the physical closeness of people gets to me AND on top of that all the talking at the same time- its like I can hear each individual voice and its a cacophony of noise that gets inside me somehow. Physically, I can't stand it and I get overwhelmed quickly. Generally, though, I am an extrovert- except when I'm not. I'm usually seeking feedback. That's why I like these boards- lots of feedback to get and to be given.

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Last edited by Moose72; Mar 11, 2020 at 03:14 PM..
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