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otroo
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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 12:45 AM
  #1
So the wife and I used to go to a Friday church program called Celebrate Recovery well she started a new job a couple of months ago and she is no longer able to attend. Well ever since she she quit going so did I but the problem is I have been isolating myself real bad since she got her new job. I don't leave the house and socialize since she has gotten her new job.
How bad is it to isolate yourself I mean I drove truck for 11 years and 99 percent of the time i was alone. The only social interaction I have had lately has been social media and different forums that I am on. Is this bad for me or what?
How much do other people socialize on here as in going to different functions and not online?
Now my wife convinced me to go to church tonight and I did enjoy myself but felt out of place at the same time and just so I can get my wife off my back I have agreed to go next Friday.
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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 12:53 AM
  #2
same as you brother , if not working I hoard up in the house , mostly alone . . . my T is working on me . . . I guess basically I just value my down time more than relationships . ..

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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 12:59 AM
  #3
I only socialize online. I only go out with DH and even then I don't talk.

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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 06:41 AM
  #4
While I need a fair amount of down time and alone time, I do need to be social for my mental health I have found. Isolating myself makes me more depressed sometimes and also socializing with friends can be a bit grounding for me if I am just spending too much time ruminating and getting anxious on my own. Once I have stopped being social for awhile I find it hard to get started with that again, though. My social anxiety picks up a bit and I have to work through that.
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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 08:35 AM
  #5
I do most of my socializing online, too, but do try to get out at least briefly most week days. The thing is, going out generally equals spending money. That's a limiting thing for me. I wish I had more friends home during the day, but I don't.

When I go out, it is often nice. I know people at the various places I go. I'm a bit of a flirt, so tend to befriend guys. I don't do anything bad, but often do get friendly hugs and kisses. I like that 😘.

Last week I went to a few AA meetings after years of not. I liked seeing the people again.
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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 10:24 AM
  #6
I don't socialize almost at all, and yet I should!
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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 10:57 AM
  #7
I can relate. I don't socialize at all outside of the immediate family. I've isolated myself to the point where I have to force myself to go to the library to be around people. I socialize mostly online and I don't have any friends. I am about to reach out to an old friend that I haven't talked to in a long while, but I'm afraid of rejection because of my diagnosis. unless I don't reveal it. I hope you can find the time to get out to more functions. best of luck!

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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 12:43 PM
  #8
Isolate myself? Absolutely. I really enjoy being alone, with my cats. I have one life-long friend that I enjoy talking on the phone to every few weeks.Everybody else...I just want to be left alone.

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Smile Aug 17, 2019 at 02:37 PM
  #9
My wife & I are both retired. (Actually I haven't been employed for 20 years.) I only leave home to walk the dog & to accompany my wife to run errands. (Once in a while I do have to get my hair cut or go to the dentist.) We have no extended family & I have no friends or even acquaintances really, by choice. No one who really knew me would want to have anything to do with me. So I prefer to spare them the inconvenience. I consider it to be my gift to the world... or at least that tiny portion of it I inhabit. (I also limit my contact with other members here on PC. And I'm not active on any other websites.)

You asked if isolating yourself is bad for you. I think it can be. For one thing, the longer you do it, the more difficult it is likely to become to start socializing again. Also, at least based on my own experience, it tends to magnify whatever mental health or other problems you may have because you don't really have anything else going on in your life to think about. Plus, if you happen to be a little bit warped to begin with (as I am) it tends to cause those issues to become more prominent. Being out-&-about in public tends to have something of a "normalizing" effect on a person I think. But if you spend large amounts of time alone aspects of your persona you might have kept submerged as a result of being out in public on a regular basis have a way of floating to the surface. At least that has been my experience. (I'll spare you the details.)

So I would say, unless you're really committed to a reclusive lifestyle, it would really be best for you to find some "social" outlets... become more involved with your church, do some volunteer work, find some type of job you can handle... perhaps something part-time if that's preferable for you, join a club or service organization or whatever. But, at least based on my own personal experience, I would say isolating yourself at home is not the best idea unless you're really committed to being a hermit.

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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 04:01 PM
  #10
I wish I used social media less and did real relationships more as I find social media destroying my mental health as I compare myself with others and I don't really get any support besides this forum. However as I'm writing this I've not attended a party my husband invited me to go along and I'm playing computer games and hanging out in social media. I need to put a lot of effort into keeping any relationship and I don't feel I have energy for it. I feel hypomanic and when I'm like that I'm overly self confident and I don't want to be around people as I'm afraid I'll regret that later.

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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 05:03 PM
  #11
I've been more or less isolated for 10 years. Haven't been out on the town and social since about age 30 (I'm 40 now). I am single and never married.

I am not sure if it's my bipolar or if it's just a personality trait. I think it's the latter because I don't usually go out even when I feel OK. And it's not really social anxiety either. I am not uncomfortable around people I know, it's just I don't attempt to go out with them for whatever reason. I think it's partly due to my overall life situation. I hate explaining to people anything about my life so I don't attempt to make new friends. I don't want the judgement.

It sucks because I am a pretty good looking dude. 6'0, 200lbs. I have had my opportunity with plenty of women but I just don't get too close for the aforementioned reason. Doesn't help that I am broke as well. Women are all about the $$$$, and I don't have that. Wouldn't matter what I looked like, especially at my age. Women over 35 want $$$$.
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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 07:30 PM
  #12
I isolate when I’m
Depressed!!!

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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 08:20 PM
  #13
Yes. More so when Im not well as I always feel guilty putting people in my life through that (and shame for even existing) and scared that Im going to freak them out and have that lead to something I dont want (the police being called/hospitalization)- but I isolate myself a little bit even when I am well.
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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 08:43 PM
  #14
I don`t really socialize with anyone outside my family. I have one friend but we only go out once in a while. These days I find myself isolating even more and I don`t want to leave the house very much.

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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 09:31 PM
  #15
I don't know if it's good for you or not, otroo, but balance is the key to many things, and it probably applies to this as well.

Online, I only socialize here. No social media. I often spend nights watching dvds. Kind of hermit-like. But awhile back I decided I should socialize more, so joined 3 MeetUp groups. 1 is no longer, but we exchanged email addresses, so there's still a little bit of communication (there was only about half a dozen active members). I've gone to coffee a couple times with one of the people from it. And concerts (it was a music interest group). I'm about to take the plunge into another MeetUp group, but I'm a little nervous about it (a singles group). I go to events only moderately often. Some conflict with work times and some I'm just too tired after work. But I've enjoyed myself. Some are more interactive, some less. Anyway, blah, blah, blah, not sure why I've gone on so about my social life, lol.

Anyway, I think it is good to get out some. It's a help for me in practicing social skills (which I need for my job too).

Don't know if this answer's been useful. If not, disregard.

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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 10:19 PM
  #16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dysphoria View Post
I've been more or less isolated for 10 years. Haven't been out on the town and social since about age 30 (I'm 40 now). I am single and never married.


I am not sure if it's my bipolar or if it's just a personality trait. I think it's the latter because I don't usually go out even when I feel OK. And it's not really social anxiety either. I am not uncomfortable around people I know, it's just I don't attempt to go out with them for whatever reason. I think it's partly due to my overall life situation. I hate explaining to people anything about my life so I don't attempt to make new friends. I don't want the judgement.


It sucks because I am a pretty good looking dude. 6'0, 200lbs. I have had my opportunity with plenty of women but I just don't get too close for the aforementioned reason. Doesn't help that I am broke as well. Women are all about the $$$$, and I don't have that. Wouldn't matter what I looked like, especially at my age. Women over 35 want $$$$.


Women are all about the money ?!?! Really ????

I’m sorry that’s ridiculous and insulting as hell !!!!!!

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Default Aug 17, 2019 at 10:27 PM
  #17
Every now and then I'll go out with a friend, but I'm definitely an introvert. On rare occasion, I'll do the online dating thing, but I lose interest quickly. I prefer to be alone and have space, and I am definitely private. I like it that way.

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Default Aug 22, 2019 at 08:51 PM
  #18
Well I made it last Friday and did have a good time and I also went out with a men's group from church yesterday and enjoyed myself. I guess I just need to find a equal amount of social time and alone time.
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Default Aug 24, 2019 at 01:38 AM
  #19
Good or bad, I think it more of a personal concept, as everyone is different. I, on the other hand, am right there with ya. I remain isolated and alone 99.99999999% of the time myself. I do have a job in which I go to every day/ Yet even then, you'll usually find me isolating in the back of the building, hidden away from everyone. I crave so badly to be more outgoing where I can meet/ make more friends, yet my illness (and disorders) pretty much have me locked behind closed door most of the time. Usually I tell ppl, who want to know (which is very few) I spend a ungodly amount of time remaining secluded/ isolated within' the confines of my four walls. Very few online friends, don't go anywhere, do anything, cept drown within' this abyss. Sorry, however, that I don't have any answers for you here. Just thought I'd let you know, you're not alone brother. Stay strong.
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Default Aug 24, 2019 at 01:33 PM
  #20
I tend to isolate when I’m depressed. I’m an introvert and need my alone time but I’ve found it helpful for my stability to socialize a bit. I go to meetups, bible study and do things with friends as I can. Many times I have to force myself but I usually am glad when I go.

Each person is different. I hope you find the right balance for you.
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