Marital issues with bipolar wife

Hang in there, @losthusband! Be proud of yourself for how you're handling the situation! I'm REALLY HAPPY that you're pursuing couple counseling as well as individual therapy. Hopefully that's helping a bit!! Just keep being supportive to her. That's ALL you can do as an husband, really. keep reminding her that you Love her like you're already WONDERUFLLY doing. Give her some space ESPECIALLY when she's feeling particularly bad. Keep fighting! I know it's hard. I'm REALLY HAPPY that you've been reaching out here as well. I hope hearing other posters' experiences helps as well! Remeber that it won't last forever and that you CAN work on ALL of this. Of course, your Wife has to put some effort into it as well but it seems like she's REALLY trying. I am TRULY, DEEPL SORRY for what you and her are going through. It is not easy at all, I know. Be proud of yourself for how you're handling ALL of this, though! I'm sure Love will conquer ALL the difficulties and struggles you're going through. Just keep hanging on, ok? Feel free to PM me ANYTIME if you wish to receive some additional Advice and Support. I'm SURE plenty of others will gladly help you as well. KEEP FIGHTING! You're important, you matter, you're worth it and you're WONDERFUL, and so is your Family! I'm sure you know that already. Please be kind to yourself and keep trying your best. That's ALL we humans can do after all. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @losthusband, your Wife, your Children, your Family and ALL Of Your Loved Ones! KEEP FIGHTING AND KEEP ROCKING LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY WONDERFULLY DOING TOGETHER WITH YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN!

Hi losthusband. I think most everyone here has said important things. pacman wrote exactly what first came to my mind.

I am wondering if the diagnosis of your child with autism triggered your wife's bipolar disorder. Very often bipolar is triggered by some stressful event, but it is generally thought that people are genetically predisposed to developing the disorder. My grandmother was first triggered by the birth of her youngest child, who had Down's Syndrome. My two nephews were diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (on the autism spectrum). Of course it was/is a stress for all involved. I hope your child is getting some therapy, as well. It's my opinion that supplements or medications likely do little good, but direction about socialization and adapting to the world, socially, is important. I think my nephew's received too little too late.

I have read very similar stories to yours many times, so please don't feel alone.

I hope the Lamictal helps your wife. She's still at lower doses, so be patient. Also, it may or may not do the full trick. I hope it does. Many of us have to try different medications or even more than one to get the best control over the disorder.

From what you describe, your wife has likely had hypomanic, depressed, and even mixed bipolar states. If you are unfamiliar with bipolar mixed states (mixed features) you might want to read up on them. Many of us experience many type of bipolar episodes at various times.

I want to thank everyone who responded/read this thread. I really appreciate the support.

@BirdDancer, our child started on all the therapy as soon as he was eligible and is in a good school for his autism. He's developing like a normal child with ASD.

I've been reading as much as I can on basically any material. I started reading https://www.amazon.com/When-Someone-.../dp/1593856083 and I find it very helpful. I'm open to other reading material.

Hi, I just want to let you know that the words you wrote literally gave me chills (in a good way). They really resonated with me. I am glad this community has you.

Thanks

Bipolar 2: Mood Swings but Not Manic - PsychEducation.org is a great resource. It's written by a psychiatrist who specializes in bipolar and has a ton of information.

There are so many amazing people here that have offered me support during my times of need. I'm more than happy to give back when I can. I'm a huge fan of the golden rule.

I hope you stick around. I think you'll be able to provide good advice and a much needed perspective once things settle for you a bit. And keep us posted ok? You now have a great team here pulling for you and your family.

Update: She can't take it anymore and says I cause her too much anxiety being around me. I moved out earlier today. Saying good bye to the kids was the most painful part. Unbelievably painful. Nanny was crying non stop. Sister in law and cousin in law who's here to visit her were crying. It was basically hours of crying for me. Terrible day, hopefully this is rock bottom.

The good news is that it's going to be a change in scenery for me. Hoping to focus on my work and myself in the next few weeks.

I'm so sorry. I can imagine how difficult this must be for your whole family. You have an amazing attitude though. I am hopeful the time apart will be restorative for you both. Your children will be ok if you find a way to be ok. Thanks for updating us. Thinking of you.

Please get a therapist to help you through this.

So sorry to hear that, man. I take it your schedule dictates that she has to be the one with custody of the kids? Not trying to be too personal, just wanted to make sure your kids are in the best situation possible. Parenting with bipolar can be very difficult due to the mood instability, so if she has the kids, I hope you can be as involved in their lives as possible because they need that steady presence. I have a great relationship with my daughter, but my wife is the stabilizing force in our household since she is much more patient and less easily stressed than I am. I can tell when I am in an unstable mood state that it affects my daughter's mood as well (granted, she is only 2 1/2).