Are you bothered by your Dx?

Wild Coyote · Sep 02, 2019 at 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isolda van der Meer

I think I don't have any formal diagnosis yet. My doctor just told me it's probably bipolar.

But there's a problem and I have very mixed feelings about it. I really struggle with accepting it. Sometimes I think that it's not real and I must have made it up. Sometimes it really scares me. When I heard from the doctor for the first time that I'm probably bipolar, I thought that it was the end of my life. But I'm also relieved by the idea that my problem has a name and there are ways how to treat it. It's complicated.

Now I'm trying hard to understand that bipolar (or whatever it is) is not my only characteristic.

Just wanted to say hi and wanted to let you know it gets easier with time.
Many of us can attest to the fact that getting a BP diagnosis is not the end of your life. It is likely that the more you and your doctor know about your diagnosis, you may be treated better and may have a better life!

I hope you feel at home to participate here.
I also hope to see you around here more often!

*Beth* · Sep 02, 2019 at 05:32 PM

There are some things that bother me about having mental illness...like having to be on meds for the past 32 years. I don't even know who I really am, and I'm sleepy all of the time.

I'm glad there are names for the various dx's. What bothers me most of all is that I still don't understand why I'm told I have BD. My pdoc is 100% sure of it. My T said she sees that I'm more manic than depressive. My daughter has always agreed with my diagnosis.

I really don't understand it all, though. For example, when I am excited about something I express being excited. I talk more and more rapidly. I use my hands to express myself more. and so on. Well, why is that "mania"? Maybe it's just how I express being excited (I make sense and people can understand me).

So that is what bothers me about my dx.

downandlonely · Sep 02, 2019 at 05:34 PM

The problem with depression is that it's too broad a term, so a lot of people think it's not that serious. I have major depressive disorder, which means it's a chronic ongoing thing. Some people don't understand that.

BipolaRNurse · Sep 02, 2019 at 06:28 PM

It took me about five years to accept my bipolar diagnosis. I was pretty sure I had it even before I was diagnosed, but didn't do anything about it until my GP forced me into a psych consult after I failed my fourth antidepressant. I'd still like to believe I'm in some sort of long-term existential crisis, but I know better now and I don't question the dx anymore. I don't even mess with my meds or skip appointments with my pdoc. It's not worth getting sick again.

~Christina · Sep 02, 2019 at 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

There are some things that bother me about having mental illness...like having to be on meds for the past 32 years. I don't even know who I really am, and I'm sleepy all of the time.

I'm glad there are names for the various dx's. What bothers me most of all is that I still don't understand why I'm told I have BD. My pdoc is 100% sure of it. My T said she sees that I'm more manic than depressive. My daughter has always agreed with my diagnosis.

I really don't understand it all, though. For example, when I am excited about something I express being excited. I talk more and more rapidly. I use my hands to express myself more. and so on. Well, why is that "mania"? Maybe it's just how I express being excited (I make sense and people can understand me).

So that is what bothers me about my dx.

BD ? BP ( Bipolar ) or do you mean BPD (borderline personality disorder) ? I’m guessing BP

Those of us with BP can have every emotion under the sun, I can be over the moon happy and excited and giddy I found a new nail polish color I don’t have , is that BP ? No it’s just my being happy.

I was absolutely furious over something a person said to me a few weeks ago . Was that BP? No I had every right to be furious.

So my advice is don’t waste a lot of time analyzing a mood but just a quick 2 second self check if your thinking whatever is BP.

*Beth* · Sep 02, 2019 at 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

...I'd still like to believe I'm in some sort of long-term existential crisis, but I know better now and I don't question the dx anymore. ...

Absolutely fabulous statement

This is always my argument with myself..."It's just an existential crisis..."

*Beth* · Sep 02, 2019 at 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

BD ? BP ( Bipolar ) or do you mean BPD (borderline personality disorder) ? I’m guessing BP

Those of us with BP can have every emotion under the sun, I can be over the moon happy and excited and giddy I found a new nail polish color I don’t have , is that BP ? No it’s just my being happy.

I was absolutely furious over something a person said to me a few weeks ago . Was that BP? No I had every right to be furious.

So my advice is don’t waste a lot of time analyzing a mood but just a quick 2 second self check if your thinking whatever is BP.

Yes, bipolar disorder. And thank you!

I need to hear that. I drive myself into anxiety states trying to discern "it" from "me."

Isolda van der Meer · Sep 03, 2019 at 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Just wanted to say hi and wanted to let you know it gets easier with time.
Many of us can attest to the fact that getting a BP diagnosis is not the end of your life. It is likely that the more you and your doctor know about your diagnosis, you may be treated better and may have a better life!

I hope you feel at home to participate here.
I also hope to see you around here more often!

Thank you!

I hope I'll feel better in the future. It's just too recent now.

lacerta · Sep 04, 2019 at 11:19 AM

My dx is something that I must acknowledge. Something I need to take in account when making plants. Planning enough rest, taking care of myself. Yes, I have encountered rolledeyes from doctors and feeling stigme. But other than that, I need my meds, I need visits to therapist, it's taking care of myself. I'm relieved by diagnosis as it takes away fault from me being wrong to me suffering from illness and me needing proper care.

sadveiledbride · Sep 05, 2019 at 08:08 PM

yup, people don't follow me as serious and mark me as a loon. not proud to be bipolar but it explains things. if I could have this condition with little people knowing I'd feel better, but can't. not in denial but bothered by people's reactions. yeah guess I shouldn't care what people think but having all of this engraved on me makes me worry. it's hard to snap my fingers and say 'yeah I don't care about what people think, woohoo!' not that easy at all, that's how people talk to me sometimes. I know I have bipolar but I'm bothered by it to an extent. I don't view other bipolar folks or myself as 'crazy' but other people seem to.

BeyondtheRainbow · Sep 05, 2019 at 08:26 PM

Not really. I've had plenty of time to get used to it and honestly even when I was very first diagnosed I was mostly just relieved to know what was wrong with me; something certainly was.

I do hate some of the consequences, like not being able to work and being sedated and having gained weight by taking meds. But the bipolar itself just is what it is.

Nammu · Sep 05, 2019 at 09:59 PM

I've been thinking about this question since it got posted. I wanna say hell no it don't bother me,.....but I wouldn't want people to know. I volunteered for years but I don't tell people I'm bipolar. I've seen people change if they have knowledge of the diganois, they back off thinking of how the media, films and books portrayed a bipolar. Where I had had a unque viewpoint and take on a situation suddenly become oh she's got a "crazy outlook" whereas I was taken seriously I suddenly become superfluous. So while I don't think of my diganois day to day or think of myself as mi day to day I'm aware I don't share this openly. Yeah it bothers me.

xRavenx · Sep 06, 2019 at 11:35 PM

My feelings have gone back and forth throughout the years. It gave me comfort to get diagnosed in order to receive the right treatment.

The only time I really get triggered when I see it on paper, like when I have to submit insurance claims. Although I know my diagnosis is very real, it makes it all too real actually seeing the label under my name. Maybe it makes me feel like just a diagnosis and not a person when I see it in writing, if that makes sense. But overall, I do accept it and have been dealing with this for so long.

saucygirl31 · Sep 07, 2019 at 03:35 PM

i feel like relieved for my bipolar to know and relate to the symptoms but demonized and looked down on because on my personality stuff. that said, i enjoy who i am, i just hate that my medical records are all like "saucy is hard to handle etc".

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downandlonely Legendary Member Since Mar 2018 Location: United States Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!) 6 10.6k hugs given	Sep 02, 2019 at 05:34 PM #23 The problem with depression is that it's too broad a term, so a lot of people think it's not that serious. I have major depressive disorder, which means it's a chronic ongoing thing. Some people don't understand that.
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saucygirl31 Member Member Since Sep 2019 Location: New England Posts: 99 4 5 hugs given	Sep 07, 2019 at 03:35 PM #34 i feel like relieved for my bipolar to know and relate to the symptoms but demonized and looked down on because on my personality stuff. that said, i enjoy who i am, i just hate that my medical records are all like "saucy is hard to handle etc".
	Reply With Quote