advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
bizi
Bizi is bizi
 
bizi's Avatar
bizi happines is a decision
 
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,829
15 yr Member
43.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Red face Sep 16, 2019 at 08:13 PM
  #481
Quote:
Originally Posted by xRavenx View Post
Not sure who I can really talk to. I will share certain things with people, but I am a burden to my mother and friends (the few that I have) only know vague things and aren't really able to understand. As far as my thoughts go, I am uncertain what's real vs. what's not. All I know is that I feel completely unworthy, trapped, incapable. I'm losing ground, exhausted, feel everything is pointless. I just feel like sleeping. Not sure what to do anymore.
I am sorry you are feeling this way.
perhaps make a sooner appointment with your therapist?
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





bizi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, xRavenx
 
Thanks for this!
xRavenx

advertisement
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 08:20 PM
  #482
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
My daughter is a red head too, she loves her hair color and has never dyed it. Bonus my granddaughter inherited the red hair and blue eyes genes


Her dad and I both have brown boring eyes but she has beautiful blue eyes, both of our grandfathers were gingers with blue eyes.

My daughters hair literally looked just like Shirley Temple , gorgeous curls. It was almost to her waist all through her life and into the first 2 years of college and Bipolar popped up and she went more blond , slowly started getting a bit shorter ,I mean it all looked great on her. I did miss her natural but hey it’s her hair lol

One day she texted me and said , I have a surprise for you later ,I was like Oh boy,.....

Few hours later she sent me a pic of her new hair. Long on top, undercut was a bright teal color , the long top was a beautiful deep blue, my jaw hit the floor , was stunning.

That began her journey of vivid colors. She’s had every color under the sun, she let her natural color grow in for about 6 months , got a bit hypo and within an hour it was a cotton candy pink, she can pull off any colors. God I’m so mad I didn’t have those choices of hair color at her age lol

She’s a copy writer for a company owned by Scientologists LOL .. they could care less what people look like , I think 95% of the company has funky colors.

__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Nammu, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Nammu
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 08:21 PM
  #483
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer View Post
Christina, my food delivery did arrive, but I didn't make the duck because I realized it needs 6 to 12 hours of marinading. I'll make that tomorrow. We did still have a wonderful meal. I made homemade rice pilaf and veal chops with chantarelle mushrooms (girolles) and a watercress puree sauce. It was delicious! The dang fig tart is out of this world!


On Wednesday, I'll make hubby veal liver in some way. I don't like liver. I'm unsure what I'll eat that night.


**** Drool****
My dinner sucked tonight lol

Yeah umm I’d pass on the liver too lol

__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Sunflower123
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 08:22 PM
  #484
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
I'm so done with everything. I'm so tired.


You made it through the day ! Be proud of that, now get some sleep so you can continue to step outside your comfort zone

Your doing great !

__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom
 
Thanks for this!
Victoria'smom
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 08:26 PM
  #485
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebicycle View Post
Feel pretty bad, but I managed not to sleep during the day.


I'm trying to hold out until Friday because that's when I see my therapist. I'm hoping that things improve on their own by then. Maybe the increase in AP dose will help; maybe it will not. I don't know. But I do know I have to give it a chance to work and I have to spend my energy finding a new pdoc in the office instead of spending that energy dwelling on the negative.


That said, I hope everyone had a good day today. Wish I could say mine was "good" even though good things happened. I've just had dark thoughts that have made my otherwise good day a bad one.


On the upside, I did not fall asleep during the day and I got some stuff done.


You know Blue ... even when your struggling you have such a wise way of looking at your situation.

Just by accepting things as they are right in the moment and are going to take the steps needed to find yourself a new Pdoc that will actually HELP you is wonderful, being proactive YES!

Not falling asleep during the day is a HUGE deal when you have been struggling to stay out of bed. Pat yourself on the back

__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Sunflower123
Innerzone
Wise Elder
 
Innerzone's Avatar
Innerzone FML
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
10 yr Member
31.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 09:33 PM
  #486
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daonnachd View Post
I'm feeling worthless and burdensome. So much so that I haven't pushed myself to bother you with it. Today I called the ECT coordinator and we moved my appointment to this Friday. She also told me that my name had come up as a good person to help new patients negociate the anxieties and questions that boil up early on in the ECT treatment process. They want to wait until I'm through this though.
Not burdensome!! Not at all. Even when you're struggling. You have been very much missed around here!

I'm glad your appointment got moved up and I hope it helps bunches.

__________________
*********
Mr. Robot
Bipolar check in #37
Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.
--The Cure
Innerzone is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Daonnachd, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Daonnachd
Innerzone
Wise Elder
 
Innerzone's Avatar
Innerzone FML
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
10 yr Member
31.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 09:42 PM
  #487
Quote:
Originally Posted by xRavenx View Post
Not sure who I can really talk to. I will share certain things with people, but I am a burden to my mother and friends (the few that I have) only know vague things and aren't really able to understand. As far as my thoughts go, I am uncertain what's real vs. what's not. All I know is that I feel completely unworthy, trapped, incapable. I'm losing ground, exhausted, feel everything is pointless. I just feel like sleeping. Not sure what to do anymore.
Oh, xRavenx, how I wish I could take those terrible feelings from you! You are not any of those negative things, it's the BP lying to you. Can we help you with any reality checking at all? Do you have any appointments coming up?

And remember, you can ALWAYS talk to us.

__________________
*********
Mr. Robot
Bipolar check in #37
Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.
--The Cure
Innerzone is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Sunflower123, xRavenx
 
Thanks for this!
xRavenx
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 11:27 PM
  #488
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
Years ago when I stopped Lithium I was literally sick as a dog for a good 8-10 days. Brain zaps , nausea, chills etc etc

Once I got over the initial detox it honestly took my brain almost 3 months to go back to working correctly. It was just awful.

I have dropped AP’s left and right and most never even gave me a hiccup , but Lithium , dear god it was horrible

I hope you can get through this easier than I did.
That sounds horrible. How slowly did you taper?

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Sunflower123
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 11:57 PM
  #489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wander View Post
That sounds horrible. How slowly did you taper?


I wound up in the Er one night , I was borderline toxic and having my labs checked hourly to see if I might need temporary dialysis. I was done right then .. I was taking 900 mg at the time and had been for close to 2 years.. anyway my labs were always therapeutic levels.

So no taper I just quit it.

Overall I think it’s a good medication for a lot of people. It was the gold standard first medication ever made specifically for Bipolar after all.

The main thing to remember is all meds take time to actually start working and helping , well when the meds stop there’s the half-life issues and then the time your brain needs to revert back to function sans meds..

I truly hope with your taper schedule you will have a much softer landing than my train wreck sick for days and days going cold turkey was.

This is one medication that I will never take again.

__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Sunflower123
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 12:52 AM
  #490
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
I wound up in the Er one night , I was borderline toxic and having my labs checked hourly to see if I might need temporary dialysis. I was done right then .. I was taking 900 mg at the time and had been for close to 2 years.. anyway my labs were always therapeutic levels.

So no taper I just quit it.

Overall I think it’s a good medication for a lot of people. It was the gold standard first medication ever made specifically for Bipolar after all.

The main thing to remember is all meds take time to actually start working and helping , well when the meds stop there’s the half-life issues and then the time your brain needs to revert back to function sans meds..

I truly hope with your taper schedule you will have a much softer landing than my train wreck sick for days and days going cold turkey was.

This is one medication that I will never take again.
Thanks. Going cold turkey must have been tough. It was about 9 days into my taper that the most awful physical symptoms appeared. Now day five of that and it is only slightly abating. I can at least drive today ... in between naps. Just feel like I’m dying. Maybe tapering is dragging the pain out, idk. The horrible thing is after this I have to tackle coming off benzodiazepines. While I’m well with regards to Bipolar I want to cut down on meds. We’ve got robots roaming Mars but cannot come up with a psych pill that ticks all the boxes without this kind of hellish downside.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Innerzone, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
~Christina
Anonymous35014
Guest
Anonymous35014 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 05:45 AM
  #491
I am feeling *slightly* better today compared to how I was feeling yesterday, but I am still depressed (unfortunately).

On the upside, I made quite a bit of (noticeable) progress at work yesterday that I think my boss will be happy with, so I hope I will be able to keep up the momentum for the rest of the week, at the bare minimum. (Though of course, I think anyone would prefer to persistently keep up the momentum, but I am just focusing on getting through this week.)

One day down, four more to go.

I hope everyone else has a good day today. I am personally hoping mine will be good and productive.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Blue_Bird, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
 
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote, ~Christina
yellow_fleurs
Grand Poohbah
yellow_fleurs has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
5 yr Member
1,265 hugs
given
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 06:33 AM
  #492
Feeling tired, apathetic, and like I have no motivation. It's taking me a long time to get going in the mornings. I really can't tell if I am depressed or if this is just more of a physical thing or if this is just me. Ruminating a lot and feeling very guilty over all my past mistakes, like I am not a good person.
I am meeting with my supervisor about job opportunities this week. I was supposed to think about what I wanted to do next with my career, but I feel uncertain. I was so motivated about this new degree, but now I feel I cannot predict what my brain will do and therefore am scared to make a decision. At least my SO is visiting tonight and I am going to see some friends. Maybe that will cheer me up a bit.
yellow_fleurs is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Blue_Bird, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
 
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote, ~Christina
Anonymous46341
Guest
Anonymous46341 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 06:48 AM
  #493
bluebicyle, that's good that you stayed awake during the day. I hope that may soon take away some of the daytime drowsiness.

Christina, maybe the pork itself wasn't good. I hope you got some sleep last night.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, Blue_Bird, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
 
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote, ~Christina
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 07:50 AM
  #494
Was finally able to get some good sleep! I've been eating really healthy. It's hard because of my eating disorder history so I've got to make sure I eat without going too far and restricting. October will mark 6 months of ED recovery , I'm very happy about that. I never thought I'd get this far.

Hoping the weather cools off soon. Not much planned for the day. Might clean some. Will talk to my care manager and schedule a day to go down to my college and get things worked out so I can start classes again in the spring semester (I had to take the past 2 semesters off due to mental health problems)

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, bizi, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
 
Thanks for this!
Innerzone, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
Anonymous46341
Guest
Anonymous46341 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 08:04 AM
  #495
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
Was finally able to get some good sleep! I've been eating really healthy. It's hard because of my eating disorder history so I've got to make sure I eat without going too far and restricting. October will mark 6 months of ED recovery , I'm very happy about that. I never thought I'd get this far.

Hoping the weather cools off soon. Not much planned for the day. Might clean some. Will talk to my care manager and schedule a day to go down to my college and get things worked out so I can start classes again in the spring semester (I had to take the past 2 semesters off due to mental health problems)
Thanks for sharing this very positive news, Blue_Bird!
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, Blue_Bird, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
 
Thanks for this!
Blue_Bird, Wild Coyote
Nammu
Crone
 
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,968 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
53.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 09:19 AM
  #496
Did get some sleep last night, but it's weird. It's like somebody turned the lights out, I have no awareness that I'm sleeping, I miss my dreams. I want my crazy weird dreams back cause they are entertaining and sometimes enlightening. I did have a bit of a dream, I was part of a weird tribe of people and we were dying out so meeting in secret to move away from human and only marry each other to keep the magic strong.

__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Nammu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous46341, Blue_Bird, Innerzone, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
 
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote, ~Christina
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 09:29 AM
  #497
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
Did get some sleep last night, but it's weird. It's like somebody turned the lights out, I have no awareness that I'm sleeping, I miss my dreams. I want my crazy weird dreams back cause they are entertaining and sometimes enlightening. I did have a bit of a dream, I was part of a weird tribe of people and we were dying out so meeting in secret to move away from human and only marry each other to keep the magic strong.
I felt that way when I was taking ambien, like someone turned the lights out is a perfect description, it didn't feel like sleep

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
 
Thanks for this!
Nammu, Wild Coyote
Blue_Bird
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Blue_Bird's Avatar
Blue_Bird is ready for recovery!
 
Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,660 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
14.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 09:30 AM
  #498
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
Okay so basically no sleep in 2 days and I’m wide awake, I can’t imagine getting sleepy any time soon.

I’m zooming I think.

Hopefully a Xanax or 2 later will let me drift off for a lil while at least... if nothing else I force myself to lay down and stare at the wall for at least 4 hours , maybe I’ll doze off out of sheer boredom , it sometimes happens.

I made the most sucky boring pork chops on the planet tonight. I have no idea what went wrong but Meh ! I hate making a meal and it being total suckage.

I bought chocolate today so I’ll nibble later and I know that’s gonna taste soooooo damn good lol
Hope you got some sleep

I've been craving chocolate too lol

__________________


R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Blue_Bird is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
 
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote, ~Christina
Anonymous46341
Guest
Anonymous46341 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 10:28 AM
  #499
I"m a little annoyed at my husband. So often he only tells me "on the day of" when he's going to go out with his buddies for dinner after work. And sometimes when he does tell me he's going out a day or more ahead of time, then only a couple hours before dinner time, on that day, he tells me it is cancelled and that he'll be home for dinner. So I already put a meat in a marinade for tonight's dinner. It was supposed to marinade for 6 to 12 hours. Now, it will marinade for more than 30 hours, unless I remove it from the marinade.

Today is already turning out to be an unhealthy eating day. I ate a sugary brioche for breakfast and then I just couldn't resist a 500 calorie crumb cake piece. I finished the whole thing and it's not even noon.

I see my therapist in a couple hours. For some reason, I've been nervous about my volunteer job. The issue seems, in my view, to be having to answer a phone. I told them that I didn't want to work for their HelpLine (where you answer phone calls and give info). So instead, they put me on receptionist duty (where I would answer and transfer phone calls). I know that it is not exactly a difficult thing to do, but I'm still resistant to doing it. I know I'd be much happier not having to touch a stupid phone. I haven't a clue why I have an issue with phones, but I do. I'm going to talk to my therapist about this odd-ball issue. I do have some mild odd-ball eccentricities.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, xRavenx
 
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote, ~Christina
Scooter9
Poohbah
 
Scooter9's Avatar
Scooter9 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,188
5 yr Member
79 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 11:27 AM
  #500
I'm feeling a little better today than yesterday. It's a nice day so I'm going for a long walk at lunchtime.

I contacted my pdoc and requested that she consider adding something or replacing Wellbutrin with something. What that "something" might be is up to her to decide. I mentioned Mirapex since I have been reading a lot about it.

She's in the office only a couple of days a week so I might not hear from her for a few days. I hope she doesn't want to see me since it's difficult to get an appointment quickly because of her schedule.

__________________
* Dx: Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorder
* Rx: Latuda, Remeron, Prozac, Klonopin, Vraylar

My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016.
Scooter9 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blue_Bird, fern46, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
 
Thanks for this!
Wild Coyote, ~Christina
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:29 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.