Bipolar check in #37

Here's the new thread......hope it works.

Thanks for the new thread. I'll try my best to check in everyday!

Thanks for the new thread Nammu


I've been doing very well, like more stable than I've been in loooong time! I'm so excited about trying to get into volunteering and part time work.

Haven't even had any impulsive spending urges at all lately, no voices or paranoia/delusions. It's such a relief. I've been keeping up with cleaning and eating fairly healthy, getting out. Will be spending some time with a friend this weekend which should be nice.

Hope everyone is doing well

I've been getting steadily more depressed as the days pass. I had been manic since I got out of the hospital. The psychosis isn't too bad tho so I guess that's a good thing.

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

I don't check in everyday tho I do read the thread everyday.

I've not been sleeping well. My ambian completely konked out on me. Really need to make a doctor appointment but not looking forward to it as I only have a PCP who does all my meds and trying to explain why sleep in so vital for bipolar stability is hard. He's a nice guy and listened when I first saw him and did write the script for two 10 mg tablets which is high. But mental health is not his balwick. Our relationship is pretty much that the pharmacy calls him and he renews the scripts.

I toss and turn most of the night. I got up last night and watched tv, came here and read a bit before going back to bed and achieving a zen state to get some rest. I can't keep that up for days so yeah......my goal is to get a dr appointment. And maybe bring up the vomiting too.

ambien stopped working for me too. my PDoc gave me KPin to use for sleep, but I don't want to get too dependent on it, so I don't use it every night and when I do, I still wake up in the middle of the night. good sleep is something we all definitely need in order to function in a normal manner through-out the day. I know, personally, I need to get into that zen type of sleep you mentioned.

I hope you get in soon to see a Doc. definitely bring up the vomiting. maybe a side effect?

Ha ha, I decide to call the doc for an appointment and what comes in the mail? An invitation to come to a funeral home to hear a 90 minute lecture on cremation! Good thing I'm not paranoid!

And oh, I don't like benzos cause they interfere with my mood state, but maybe taking them at night for sleep I wouldn't notice a mood shift.....cause hopefully I'd be sleeping! Hmm I could bring those up.

That’s pretty funny! Seriously though, I hope you get the sleep and vomiting sorted out.

From hermit to.... well busy! The MeetUp groups have a been a help there. And since I joined a singles one (yikes, I know) I get a lot of emails of activities. I've only been to one of the singles ones so far, and it was not as I had feared, so I'm going to 2(!) tonight, back to back(!!) I'm more nervous transit-wise about going places I've not been before. Went to another one (not singles) the other night, and there was a guy definitely interested who was not part of the MeetUp, just happened to be at the same location they were meeting. Life's funny that way. Gave me his card, hoping I'd follow up. I'm not going to though. Just not interested. Additionally, I'm listening to my gut, and I just had a feeling that gave me pause.

Then tomorrow, there's another gathering (again, not singles).

If you want to get out more, I can tell you this is quite an effective way.

Work had a few trying days this past week. Just me feeling inept for making mistakes. I can beat myself up better than anyone.

Well, better get on with the day. Lots to get done.

Many hugs all around. Sorry not to respond individually all that much. I'm rarely here on my computer, but instead on my phone taking transit. Besides the sometimes bumpy ride, I can't type with 2 fingers, so it takes forever to respond. (Yeah, I'm on the computer right now. WOW, SOOOOO much easier to type, lol!)

*********
Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure

That’s great! Hope you have fun tonight!

Checking in. Doing ok. The taper off Abilify is complete. A few bumpy moments but those could be situational.

Mom has fallen twice in a week with the most recent last night when she hit her head on the night stand. We are going to the doctor later today to get checked out. I am worried at the frequency of the falls. I am pushing her to go to PT for stability training as she was supposed to months ago after recuperating from her last fall.

I had a pretty serious disagreement with a close relative and we are not currently talking. It’s quite painful. I need space and time to process some of the things that were said and my life coach is helping me a great deal.

I stumbled across a few Facebook groups for Highly Sensitive Persons and Introverts and it’s been like a balm for my soul. I don’t have any around me irl and like with this forum...it’s really nice to be understood and to be around like minds.

All in all...my mood log says good for the day. Going to get some float time in and going to a movie if mom checks out.

Warm wishes to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Man, I'm pretty bummed. I just bought a cable subscription and the coax port doesn't work in my apartment, so I can't actually watch anything on TV. I have to pay $59.99 for a Comcast guy to come out and "professionally install" the cable box, which is a load of sh_t. But I know the port is f_cked up and that it's not just me. My modem won't work with it either, so I can imagine they'll be here for a while when they find out that it's broken... And who knows how long it'll take for them to fix it.

I wish I knew it was broken when I first got my apartment, but I never checked it because I didn't care for cable. But I got cable because I want to stream stuff and my current internet package doesn't allow for 4K streaming to work very well, so it was either $16 more a month for 4K streaming, or $18 more a month for the 4K streaming and 400+ channels... so you know what I went with.

I'm gonna try to get the installation for free if I can, though. If it turns out that someone snapped a cable somewhere running into my apartment, then I'm going to demand a free installation because it's not my fault that someone else snapped a cable. I opened up the outlet to look at the coax port and it's plugged in properly, so I think the cable in the wall is dead or whatever it's connected to is dead.

On the upside, at least I can watch live TV on my laptop through Xfinity online, so I'm gonna do that right now while I do other stuff...

That is wonderful, Blue_Bird! Same here on feeling extremely stable. Also same here in that I'm planning to start volunteer work soon. Next week I will likely have a one-on-one meeting with the Director of Volunteerism at my chapter of NAMI (National Alliance On Mental Illness). I'm psyched!

I'm not usually a hyperspender, but will admit that I've been ordering more stuff than usual. Mostly Christmas cookie stuff. Yea, I know. That sounds strange, but I'm working on a blog post relating to Czech Christmas cookies. It requires some more recipe testing, photographs, etc.

My husband has quite a bit of vacation left and wants to go somewhere, as usual. We already have a vacation to Florida planned for Thanksgiving. He has consulting type work to do, and wants to do it while sitting by some beautiful lake or ocean. We were thinking about going to a beach place in our state, but nothing rocked our boats. Plus, I told him that two beach vacations basically in a row doesn't sound that appealing to me. He knows that I like camping, though he doesn't want to camp anymore. I did convince him to rather book the first "vacation" in the mountains or by a lake, instead of the shore. He took that suggestion. Now we're going to NY state, by a lake. That sounds nice, but really I'm not even in the mood for a second vacation. I sort of have plenty of things I want to do on the home front, but whatever!

I checked in earlier under the previous thread and so, I decided to check in again here for now. took a short nap and it helped my mood somewhat. didn't get to watch movies, but may after dinner on my laptop. went to dunkin and got a bagel and some donuts. I decided to have a cheat day on my diet. so for now, I feel ok if just a bit lethargic. maybe it's the knee pain. hugs and best wishes to anyone who is struggling. hope you are all well.

Hi There!

Well, GREAT!!!

I have been wondering about you. Figured you'd found some concerts to attend lately and were too tired during the day to share your story!

I am so happy to read you are having some FUN!!!

Yes, stop beating yourself up!!! Now!!! Please?

Much Love ~

IZ- So glad MeetUp is working for you. I live in a very rural area and I signed up but only have options over an hour away. The option I'd like the most is 2 hours away. So it hasn't worked for me. I'm glad to know it does work though; maybe someday it will reach my area.

My therapist and pdoc have been encouraging me to go to a church group. Until now we hadn't found anything less than an hour away and I'm not likely to stick to that. But a new church is starting here this weekend and I'm hoping I'll be able to join a group through it locally. Driving 15 minutes to town is a lot better than an hour to a bigger town or the city.

GREAT NEWS!!! I am very happy for you! Yes, friendships can be so important!!!

HI!
I am glad you have social activites nearby! I hope you find them helpful!
I also hope you and Charlie are feeling better,

YUMMY!!! Doughnuts!!! I have been overeating with the Seroquel munchies.
I hope you are able to get your medical issues sorted out and will, hopefully, be able to put at least some of this anxiety and dread(?) behind you.