Feeling insanely amazing!!!

Yeah I'm flying high its amazing. This morning this guy I started chatting to yesterday came over to my house this morning at 7am and left at 1pm. We you know mucked about and were sexual didn't have sex though as I'm not into it. I'm chatting to 40 guys including this guy. A guy was meant to be coming over next Monday until Thursday but he's refused to answer any of my messages (w***er). So another guy is coming over on Tuesday.

I know this is risky which makes it even more enticing. I'm so bloody horny lol!!

Happy happy days!!!

Oh Miss Laura, there you go again. Please don’t do anything that puts you at risk or that you’ll regret later! You don’t know these guys. You could end up with someone violent or worse. Please please be careful!

That is insanely dangerous and reckless.

Miss Laura. I'm thinking many (or even all) of these guys have one thing in mind and it is likely more one thing than hoping to "just get to know you". I realize you're horny, but as other said, it could turn out bad with lots of regrets, if you're not really careful. For goodness sake make sure they wear a you know what. You don't know what these strangers may have. Yes, strangers. I don't want you to be setting yourself up for a major crash where you've got unsavory types hanging outside your door.

This is a pattern for you when you're hypomanic or manic. Have you called your pdoc? You need to do that asap.

This is so dangerous Miss Laura and not worth the thrills. Please rethink giving your address to strangers. This is how single women get hurt.

Please stay safe, Miss Laura. Remember the state you're in right now. It's not healthy to do what you're doing. Think of yourself and the consequences. Please stay safe!! Keep writing here if it helps!! Anything else you can do to keep your mind busy? Anything else that is not dangerous of course. Perhaps some physical activity? Please be REALLY, REALLY CAREFUL! Be kind to yourself take ALL precautions needed for whatever you will do! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME if you need advice and support or even simply someone to talk to or vent to. I am SURE EVERYONE HERE will also be glad to help you and support you if you need it! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, @Miss Laura, your family, your friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking!! Most importantly, STAY SAFE!!

Hi Miss Laura,
I agree with the others, please be safe

Oh Laura I hope you get a glimpse in clarity. You do not know these guys. You are taking enormous risks with your safety and your long term physical health.

Please please call your Pdoc

I’m very worried for you.

Hi Laura, You are unwell right now. Please cancel the meetings and call you pdoc,as ~Chrisitna has suggested.
You are not carrying on your life in a safe manner right now. You may well get hurt , in more ways than one.

I hope you make the call to your psychiatrist.

This is a frank post so skip if you don't want to read very frank talk.

I agree with everybody else- cancel the meetings! Back a year or so before I was diagnosed, I went through a (long) phase of meeting people from dating sites and having random sex. Sometimes in hotels but once in the back of a guy's truck and another guy's car- WITHOUT protection. Yup. And I fear that you are headed down the same path- and quickly. I got lucky- I was never hurt or got a lasting STD. But I did get bacterial vaginosis from sex with one of these guys. That's a bacterial infection that can only be cured with a gel medication and its very difficult to treat. It itches like crazy! Worse than a yeast infection. So I didnt get an STI proper but I got an infection from sex so yeah it was an STI. PLEASE CANCEL THESE DATES/VISITS/GET-TOGETHERS. I got lucky I didn't contract HIV. You don't know that you will dodge a bullet too- and there are many.

Hey guys, thanks for all your responses. The guy from yesterday says it was the best thing ever. I doubt anything will happen with him. I was gonna cancel my volunteering yesterday afternoon so I could spend the whole day with him but I didn't. I volunteer as a peer recovery volunteer at a local day centre. So I don't want them finding out but 1 of the nurses saw me and knew something was off with me. We chatted. She was like if you need to go home I was like nah it's cool. This guy on Tues has been 2 years in the making. I always chicken out. But I'm determined to see him for real he's driving 4 hour's to me. I'm grateful for all your replies and thoughts. I told my CPN a few weeks ago I was mildly manic she wasn't concerned. My therapist is concerned for my safety. But says she can't make me not see these guys. I think I'm maintain stability. I mean no-one can see this side to it all. Mind you I spend most of the day from 4am ish or so chatting to the guys. I'm chatting to about 40 guys from all over the place. I'm still up and its 1:30am I want to do an all nighter.... I'm staying at my Sister's. Someone I told says I am attention seeking through these guys as I'm not wanting sex. I don't know. I feel so alive I'm singing with the birds

Ps did I mention I'm suffering from extreme paranoia too.

Hi Laura,

You post enough here that we know how things go for you when you need some help. It's time to get some help.

The paranoia must be a bit disturbing?

Call your pdoc.

I can't call him up it doesn't work like that here. I would need to call another number who would start the ball turning. Plus my next of kin would be advised that's my Suster who I'm currently with. I told my therapist about the paranoia which I've had since April. I don't like bothering the professionals they are so busy. Plus I see my worker on Wed like I do every week and she is non the wiser. I hate disappointing people

You will be very disappointed in yourself when you come down, you always struggle with enormous guilt over your actions while flying high.

Please be honest with your Pdoc and case worker. Until you see them..., please please ...satisfy your urges yourself , meeting strange men is very dangerous possible violent attacks , abuse and worse.... and can leave you with life altering physical problems that penicillin won’t cure.

Please stay safe

You're not disturbing any professionals, Miss Laura. It is THEIR JOB to help you. They are PAID to do that! If they won't help you, they're not doing their job. It is their responsability. So please, make the call. You deserve to get better. Take all precautions needed, stay safe, be careful and cancel the dates if you can. You've reached out here to us so I am SURE there's a little part of you that acknowledges that something is off... I'm REALLY HAPPY you're writing here and keeping us posted at least! We're all TRULY GRATEFUL for that! Keep doing that. Stay strong and stay safe. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, Miss Laura, your family, your friends, your staff, your doctors, your colleagues, your colleagues at volunteering, your nurses, the guy you saw yesterday, ALL the people you Love and you care about and who ALSO Love you back and care about you as well and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking!

I agree with Christina and Mickey. Your pdoc is paid to help you in situations exactly like this. You've mentioned several times now that there are people who cannot tell you're manic. Hiding it isn't an accomplishment. The only important thing is getting you healthy so you can make better decisions for yourself. You'll need to come down first, but when you do you'll be able to see this 'high' was really a low point in your decision making.

Mickey also made another excellent point that you reached out here for a reason. You know you need to make some adjustments. You are smart and strong. Take care of yourself. Call your doctor even if your sister will find out. Stay off the computer and get the rest your body needs at night. Honor your body and stay away from strangers. Do all of that and you'll have no reason to be paranoid. You can do this. Just look at how many people care for you here and let that serve as motivation to make the first step.

If I could just get my real life people to listen to me but they are not even answering my messages and all I have said is "hey how are you?"....

My head is whizzing around and I'm so looking forward to Tues 3 days away.

On the outside I look and sound fine no one has suspected anything.

I understand all your concerns. I appreciate you all talking to me. I'm sorry for being an idiot. I hope you can all just ignore me

You wrote about your therapist: "...But says she can't make me not see these guys."

That is an honest statement. You're an adult with excellent insight into the nature of your mania. There will be crappy consequences to your current actions. Not "right" or "wrong", but anything from troublesome to dangerous. That is something you know. If you are willing to put yourself at risk despite that knowledge, no one can stop you except you.

I'm so sorry this is happening, because you could very well get hurt, as others have said, especially physically. You could be beat up, violated, catch an STD, any number of things.

But you wrote here seeking help. You're aware you're hypersexual and you're aware you're paranoid. So you still have insight. Please use that insight to your advantage and cut it off with these guys. As Christina said, as you're hypersexual, please try to take care of the urges yourself. If it's true that what you want is attention from these guys, because you're hypo/manic, then please, if it's the case, be aware of that as well, and seek other ways of garnering that attention, such as from your T and your pdoc, people who can actually help you. I think you need that bit of insight combined with medication to bring you down to baseline. Please heed all of these wonderful people who have responded to you.

Best of luck and please be safe!