How therapy went

Therapy was a bust. However she's been doing this for over 20 years. I'm trying to be positive but it's hard she said several things I don't agree with off handedly. She wants me to talk to p doc about my anxiety. I think my continuing psychosis and feeling ****** is more important. She said the bugs maybe anxiety. She wanted to see me every two to three weeks. I asked for weekly. She gave me weekly but says she usually doesn't have appointments for three weeks , lucky the people in the front have me scheduled for a month out weekly. I'm hoping next time goes better. She asked why h doesn't work but I couldn't say I'm a freaking mess. So I just told her he has bp. She said I might be stuck in my teen years because of the desire to sh. She says crying is girls released of emotions. That h shouldn't be concerned. If I didn't lie on my depression form we'd have to talk about our options. It was midway through the session before she had me fill it out. So I knew better than be honest by then. I'm keeping a chart (honestly) to show her next week. Maybe with her strict "x requires medication, y requires hospitalization " I'll get better but putting GAD on me first meeting is tough. It went so bad I want to cry but I'm stuck in a hallway waiting for my husband to get out of club because I'm to ****ed up to be home alone.

Miguel'smom, please forgive if I missed reading this elsewhere, but this was your first meeting with this therapist?

I never liked when a brand new therapist would try to diagnosis me with anything at the end of the first meeting. I think it's sometimes best for them to just listen more and talk a little less. Also, so often I was so nervous during the first few meetings with a new therapist that I'd leave their office not liking a lot of what they said. Sometimes it was quite justified, and sometimes not as much. Sometimes the therapist would later say they were nervous, too. Even therapists that had practiced for a long time.

I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY you're hurting, @Miguel'smom! i second the Wise and Wonderful BirdDancer's questions and I ALSO COMPLETELY AGREE WITH WHAT SHE HAS ALREADY WISELY AND WONDERFULLY SAID BETTER THAN I EVER COULD! Was this your first session with your therapist? I am so sorry it didn't go too well. It seems like you're having some problems opening up to her. Do you feel like she may not be the right fit for you? Just some thoughts for you. Perhaps you can ask your Pdoc if you can get another one if that's the case. Perhaps you simply need to warm up to her before you can start to reveal more? In any case, please try to be honest and disclose your problems from the start. If you don't want to do that, just tell her that you don't feel comfortable telling her everything from the start and that you'd rather start with something small. Please be honest if you can. Take things one step at the time. I hope things will get better soon for you! It is REALLY GOOD that you're already taking steps to improve. Trust me when I say that! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @Miguel'smom, Your Family, Your Husband, Your Friends, Your Therapist, Your Pdoc, Your Medical Staff, Your Nurses, ALL Of The People You Deeply Love And Deeply Care About Who ALSO Deeply Love You And Care About You Deeply As Well FOR WHO YOU TRULY ARE And ALL Of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking! I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY that you're hurting SO MUCH, MY AWESOME, BEAUTIFUL, CARING, DEAR, SWEET, KIND, GENEROUS, RESOURCEFUL, EXPANSIVE, FRIENDLY, WISE AND WONDERFUL FRIEND!

I am sorry you don't think the first appointment went well. I can understand why that's discouraging. That first appointment honestly feels a bit like an interview to me usually when you don't know each other at all. I hope with some more appointments you'll get a better idea of if she's a good fit and can help you.
Why do you think she's strict about medication and hospitalization? Did she say so?

Yes this was my first meeting. I'm hoping she miss spoke. I listen well and most people don't connect there previous thoughts with their current thoughts. So calling teens selfish and then later saying sh is a sign that i might be stuck in my teenage years didn't sit well with me. Brushing off crying as a natural girl thing to do even when I said it wasn't natural for me bugged me.

I don't know yet, I don't feel she's a good fit but it takes me a while to figure it out. I'm going to be as honest as I can with her but she doesn't know me or my symptoms. If this is moderately depressed and I lied and we would have to talk about our options if not then idk what we're going to do when I stop talking and I feel depressed. Right now I'd put a 5 out of 10. I hate to see when I'm at a 3. I'm hoping she was off her game. I don't even know where to start with my problems.

She told me several times I need to talk to p doc about my anxiety, and possibly psychosis. She said several times certain things just require medication. She said "we'd have to talk about our options if my score was any higher". I mentioned both my husband and I were manic when we met. So she thought we met in the hospital. I'm going to be honest on my chart and just have the hospital convention and get it out of the way.

Saying that crying is just what girls do to release emotions is extremely sexist. That’s an awful thing to say. Sorry your T acted so horribly. If I were you, I’d fire her. But I do realize that isn’t always possible.

Yeah, to be honest on rereading what you wrote and you reply, some of that would really bother me, too. In particular the comment about girls crying and being stuck in your teenage years due to SH. I had a T that I thought might be sexist when he looked at me with surprise when I said I probably didn't want to have kids or get married. I just got the impression he had close minded views about women and was pretty sure it wasn't a good fit as a result. I don't always agree with my current T, but generally feel like we're on the same page and feel validated.

I wrote in my chart I don't think it went well. I just put that I'm having trouble being honest and I lied on the depression quiz. I know once I get to know her I'll call her on her BS. I'm hoping I can make this work because honestly it's my only chance right now.

I am sorry you lied on the depression part.Go with your gut.
sorry it is so hard.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

She didn't even look at the mood chart. I feel like stopping therapy and giving myself a year just to journal. I threw it away right in front of her. I know I can't do this alone. I give.

Sorry it wasn’t helpful. Have you contacted your local NAMI ? There’s one on 49th street, maybe they offer group therapy that actually might be a better fit for you?

I know we get frustrated sometimes with our docs that take care of and our therapists who seem to not listen to us. I hope things go better next appointment for you and that you do not quit therapy. The meds can only do so much for us. It's the therapy that really does things for us that we may even not know at the time. IF it bothers you that much, you could just ask her at your next appointment and touch on it briefly. see what they have to say.

I know that sometimes I expect a lot from my docs / therapist, I forget that they are human too and have things going on in their lives too and sometimes they just aren't feeling well themselves. I wouldn't take it personally just yet. Like today, I accidentally told my therapist in a round about way, that when they went on vacation last week it put me off schedule and that I would appreciate a 2 week appointment instead of a 3 week. He didn't think much of it, didn't even talk to him about where he went or why he took the week off. But when I got to the car, I was thinking what a jerk I was for saying that. Oh well, Hopefully you will remain hopeful and stay positive until your next appointment.