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Grand Member
Phoenix_1
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 907
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#21
Hypomania feels great ... until it doesn't. I feel smart, efficient, better, stronger, faster. I can work circles around other people. Everything just flows. When I'm hypomanic, I'm creative and I've written poetry and made greeting cards for people. Things are easy. Then I do something completely stupid like mortgaging the house to buy a business that failed the first year.
I used to resent my ex. I left him 3 times before our divorce in 2000. I wasn't diagnosed when I was with him, and I wish I had been. Now I feel sorry that he had to put up with all my strange plans and ideas. He had the patience of a saint to put up with me for 26 years. He's with someone else now, a woman I went to school with, and she's good for him. I'm glad he's doing well. Hypomania feels wonderful, but it's not my friend. I miss hypomania, but it's just as well that I'm now somewhat "normal" (whatever normal is). I feel calmer now, but lacking in a lot of ways. I have no will to do things like clean my apartment or go out with friends. In fact, I lost most of my friends when I was hypomanic in 2013. I don't care about a lot of things like I used to. I function, but that's about it. I guess this is my baseline. Boring but ok. Just ok. __________________ Dx: BP2 with GAD and OCD Seroquel 100 mg Risperdal 0.5 mg Clonazepam (Klonopin) 1.5 mg Buspar 5 mg Lamictal 200 mg Coversyl Plus for high blood pressure Crestor for high cholesterol Asmanex Ventolin |
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downandlonely, fern46, Isolda van der Meer
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Isolda van der Meer
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Neurodivergent
BipolaRNurse
A little shaky, but OK
Member Since: Mar 2012
Location: Western US
Posts: 4,831
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#22
I think my BP has made me a more creative and compassionate person. I was only diagnosed 7 1/2 years ago, but I've always been creative and an empath; having bipolar just brought it out more because I know what pain is and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, if I had one. Still, I wish I didn't have it, as it's caused irreparable damage to some of my relationships as well as my finances.
__________________ DX: Bipolar 1 Anxiety Tardive dyskinesia Mild cognitive impairment RX: Celexa 20 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Geodon 40 mg AM, 60 mg PM Klonopin 0.5 mg PRN Lamictal 500 mg Levothyroxine 125 mcg (rx'd for depression) Trazodone 150 mg Zyprexa 7.5 mg Please come visit me @ http://bpnurse.com |
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downandlonely, Isolda van der Meer
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Isolda van der Meer
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Junior Member
Catchingthesun
Bipolar I
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Maryland
Posts: 15
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#23
If you could harness the creativity that comes with mania and the awareness with everything around you it could be a positive. Other than that I see no positive.
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Isolda van der Meer
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Isolda van der Meer
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Member
Zeroid
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Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 120
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#24
I have some great stories to tell, and so do other people.
__________________ Diagnosis is not definition |
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Isolda van der Meer
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fern46, Isolda van der Meer
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Member
daladico
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Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Seattle, wA
Posts: 150
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#25
1. I appreciate the normal times in a whole new way
2. When Im in the good hypomanic phase (as opposed to being incredibly irritable/agitated), I have this amazing bliss that many people have likely never experienced 3. Im able to deeply connect with other people who struggle with mental health & help them along the way |
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bpcyclist, fern46, Isolda van der Meer
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BipolaRNurse, Isolda van der Meer
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New Member
Looking4H0pe
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Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: Aurora, CO
Posts: 3
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#26
I agree that hypomania feels so fun and FREEING! Ive also been quite successful in work (except I see myself as super badass and dont realize Im missing some of the details). What else has felt amazing is how much I love buying things and how delicious food tastes! I know those things can be spun to be a negative but we have to cling to as much positivity as we can! Then the other part is that I can finally nap! Naps normally give me a headache and Im too antsy but during Med changes oh boy can I sleep!! Oh I also enjoy relaxing where I LET myself relax and not get so hard on myself about getting tasks completed.
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bpcyclist, Isolda van der Meer
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Grand Member
Gabyunbound
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Member Since: May 2016
Location: U.S.
Posts: 944
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#27
Hypomania, which I haven't experienced for years now, used to be absolutely euphoric, feeling I was the most brilliant person in the world, pure joy...until it would turn ugly and transform to mania.
I chased that 'high' more than once by messing with my meds. I guess the positive is the *experience* of that pure joy; there was and has been nothing quite like it. I have come close, not hypomanic, but I have yet to reach such heights on my own. I know better now not to mess with my meds in the chase of that joy, but frankly I think it's less willpower on my part, and more the time that has gone by since the last time I was hypomanic, so that the wonderful memories have dissipated a bit. Also, what I also vividly remember is how horrific it has become after the high becomes an ugly, terrifying, psychotic mania and then the depression that follows. So I manage to keep my meds as is. I do like and enjoy my baseline, for the most part, but I do, sometimes, miss the purity of that joy, and all-encompassing confidence that went with it... __________________ Bipolar 1 Lamictal: 400 mg Latuda: 60mg Klonopin: 1 mg Propranolol: 10 mg Zoloft: 100 mg Temazepam: 15 mg Zyprexa 5-10mg prn (for Central Pain Syndrome: methadone 20 mg; for chronic back pain: meloxicam 15 mg; for migraines: prochlorperazine prn) |
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bpcyclist, Isolda van der Meer
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Crone
Nammu
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Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,982
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#28
I've become a great curmudgeon. A cynic.
__________________ Nammu Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. ... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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bpcyclist, Isolda van der Meer
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Isolda van der Meer
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Magnate
tecomsin
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 2,007
736 hugs
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#29
I am chronically depressed and every few years seem to slip into a psychotic mania. I wish I didn't have this disease. There is no upside for me.
__________________ BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
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bpcyclist, downandlonely, Isolda van der Meer
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Isolda van der Meer
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Legendary
bpcyclist
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Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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#30
Compassion and empathy for others. And of course, what it feels like to be heading up but before it gets really bad and psychotic and insane.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Isolda van der Meer
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Anonymous41462
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#31
I sure enjoy the euphoria. And the gains in compassion and being able to recognize pain in others and do what i can to help. The worst part for me is that i have a lot of trouble making a difference in the world. There's a volunteer project i was working on which will benefit a lot of my peers who are poor but i had an acute fear reaction and am on medical leave, taking time to heal. I'm a lot more fortunate than most of my peers in that i have been able to get an education and a comfortable living standard tho i went thru a poisonous time in order to get it. I feel i *could* contribute my skills and experience if only i was able to string together more than six weeks of service. This means that yet again, i am not participating in the volunteer project and not contributing. I feel like all my suffering has no meaning because i am not able to help others. If i could just get something done, some good work, do some good for my beautiful people, the mentally ill clowns of God, i would feel a lot better about myself. But here i am, resting and recovering, catching up on my sleep, hydration, nutrition, laundry, dishes, groceries, all day-to-day activities i ignored while i was hypo-manic and now demand attention. So sick of not being able to make any progress, not being able to make a difference, not being able to help others, not being able to give my life and my suffering any meaning . . . .
Last edited by Anonymous41462; Oct 20, 2019 at 08:53 PM.. |
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fern46, Isolda van der Meer, Pookyl
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fern46, Isolda van der Meer, Pookyl
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Poohbah
Pookyl
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Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,435
79 hugs
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#32
I struggle to find anything positive about my diagnosis. Before my diagnosis, I was a somebody. I had a lot of positive influence and impact on the world through my career.
Now Ive gone from helping to implement the gold standard in ventilating neonates, to colouring in. Im now a nobody with zero influence in my own world, let alone anyone elses. Bipolar has broken me. __________________ Pookyl BP1, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia Psych meds: Saphris, Seroquel XR, regular Seroquel. PRN Diazepam and Zopiclone |
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Isolda van der Meer
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Isolda van der Meer
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Grand Magnate
cashart10
is feeling above the sky :)
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
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#33
Quote:
I just found this hilarious because Im in the process of being excused from jury duty right now. 😂😂😂 __________________ ***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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