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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
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#41
Quote:
Also, I have an idea what is triggering/did trigger this, but I'm not sure if it's real or not. Does that make sense? __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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Anonymous46341, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
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#42
WildCoyote, I, too am very impressed with the way you are handling this situation, and keeping to your values through it all. It must be so hard to deal with that level of betrayal, though. I am honestly amazed you can even show up to deal with stuff with him. It seems you are very resilient. I hope better things come your way soon.
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Anonymous46341, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Innerzone, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Legendary
Community Liaison
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: USA
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#43
Quote:
What happens when you think of it as real? If, for instance, a hallucination set us off, would the hallucination be considered "real?" It was/is real enough to trigger us. Identifying the trigger is important, whether or not we can determine if the trigger is real. It really triggered us! I am hoping you will be able to find a way out of the dissociation soon and can enJOY life. __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. |
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Anonymous46341, Sunflower123
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childofchaos831
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Elder
Member Since Nov 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,037
7 15 hugs
given |
#44
Quote:
__________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
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Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,467
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#45
If someone moves my stuff- or even if I do- mentally and physically!- I can't find these things again. Pieces of paper, thoughts, my car keys, etc. They must go in the same spot every time. Its highly frustrating. I have a vague recollection of typing this exact post before but without a reference it all drops away: I am lost. Not good when I have important paperwork to do.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, yellow_fleurs
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~Christina
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,433
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#46
Wild coyote, my continued support as you go through this awful time. Sometimes we do not know how strong we are until we are forced to be. You are quite strong!
I am still feeling down, but the fog seems to be lifting a little bit. I think the worst of the episode has passed. I still do not want to go to work, but I am not feeling as desperate to get away. The self harm urges have mostly gone. I’m starting to think if I can just make it through this week I will be able to rest and pick up next week with actual lesson plans. I’m hoping this is true. I still think I would go back to my old job if I could but that doesn’t seem to be an option. I am not planning to return to school, however. So I will lose this job at the end of the year no matter what. And I am ok with that. I am so very tired. Exhaustion is a symptom of both depression and diabetes. Since both MAY be at play here, it’s hard to know what way I should go. I will be going to my primary care dr as soon as I am insured. Until then, I will try to slowly change the way I eat. It’s a tough road, because I am so used to eating junk. But it must be done. __________________ Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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Anonymous46341, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,467
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#47
This paperwork needs filled out for all the adults in the household. N3 refuses to pay anything!! I cant continue to support him at 18. He quit his job and refuses to get a new one. He just wants to visit with his girlfriend. He rarely ever practices piano either. I feel like wringing his neck!
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
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#48
Had more weird dreams last night, was tossing and turning and woke up and started ruminating and panicking about stuff. Fortunately I went to bed early enough to make up for the lack of sleep. It's oddly been around the same time each night. I definitely feel off. I am going on a trip to visit my grandma and aunt this weekend and I have developed such bad flight anxiety in recent months, plus with how overstimulating I find airports, I am worried if I continue to feel off I'll totally lost it on the plane or something. Anyways at least something positive is that I am getting some work done, so that's good at least. Sending compassion!
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Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#49
Tomorrow morning I have to get up early for my volunteering. I'm far from excited, but maybe it'll be better than I expect.
My sister didn't even know that I was unaware of my dad's release from the hospital. I wasn't even thinking about him much. She said my brother was at her house upset. Apparently he got home abd Dad was drunk. Surprise? I wrote my sister to tell my dad to pay his bills, finally, and quit the hospital visit charade. Why bother? I won't be visiting him any time soon, I'm afraid. |
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Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,276
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#50
Ooooooooooo my daughter is getting married!!!!! Soon, too, December! We're going dress shopping on the 17th. It will be so much fun. Ahhhh, what's the mother of the brides duties? I never was one for traditional but my daughter is, ah, I gotta go google
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Anonymous46341, bizi, Innerzone, Moose72, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25, yellow_fleurs
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Innerzone, Wild Coyote, yellow_fleurs, ~Christina
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
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#51
Congrats Nammu!!
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Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Nammu, Wild Coyote
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 71,276
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#52
They've been engaged for 10 years and have two kids!
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
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#53
Yay!!! Congratulations!!! I bet you’re thrilled.
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Nammu, Wild Coyote
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Nammu, Wild Coyote
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
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#54
Checking in. Mood is good, sleep is better. I got a weighted blanket and started listening to a guided sleep meditation with brain wave entrainment. Both have helped a lot. Nothing of interest going on. Just wanted to say hello and send warm wishes and hugs to those that are struggling.
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Anonymous46341, bizi, Innerzone, Nammu, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,226
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#55
Yay Nammo! How exciting! Dress shopping should be fun.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Nammu, Wild Coyote
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Legendary
Community Liaison
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 12,735
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#56
Quote:
Good ideas for sleep! glad to hear it helps! __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. |
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bizi, Sunflower123
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Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
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#57
Quote:
I think your doing an amazing job with this giant Cluster F he just dropped on you out of no where. You know what I think about him of course. I honestly think you are taking on one task after another. Yes many many tasks to go through. Eventually everything will be settled and you won’t feel all this heavy weight on your shoulders. I know that you are grieving the loss, he’s a horrible human being but still 30 years together is a long time, betrayal like he has done could temporarily crush you , but I know you will manage it. Yeah it will take you time so remember to go easy on yourself. Continue to lean on family and friends, you know I’m always here for you You are so very strong __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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bizi, Sunflower123
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Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
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#58
Quote:
I have to keep things in there “ place” if my husband happens to move something I can freak out and then panic ensues. I feel your pain __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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bizi, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
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Location: Tennessee
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#59
Quote:
Ack kids these days !! Do you pay for his cell by chance tell him he has 5 days to find a job or you will cut off his line. Seems like push has come to shove.... a big plate of tough love might be needed. I’m sorry he’s being such a jerk !! __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Sunflower123
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Innerzone, Nammu
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
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#60
Quote:
Oh my gosh so exciting!!!!! I have no idea about duties. My mom just took over planning my wedding , it wasn’t worth the fight .. she had imagined it in her head since my birth so I just let her do it her way. Honestly I’d need to google too lol Enjoy! __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Nammu
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