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Old 10-09-2019, 03:37 PM   #321
Wild Coyote
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Heart Re: Bipolar Check-In #38

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Originally Posted by BirdDancer View Post
As I mentioned in another post, I cancelled my volunteering for today. Just today, to give myself a little stress break. Plus, I see my psychiatrist in the afternoon. I dislike seeing him after a stressful morning. I'm already excited. Everyone I know well knows that seeing my psychiatrist is among my very favorite things to do. My husband has totally known this since I even met my psychiatrist over 13 years ago. Yes, I definitely have a major transference going on. My psychiatrist totally knows this, too. I don't care! I even joke about it -- even with my psychiatrist. It doesn't affect my treatment negatively. I guess if it did, I would need to switch.

So today is another dreary day, but felt pretty good yesterday with no indigestion or heartburn at all. So far so good on that front, too. I am still sleeping a lot, having trouble getting up, but after breakfast I have decent energy. I am going to ask my psychiatrist to lower my Seroquel XR by 50 mg. A small reduction.

Yesterday my husband suddenly developed a major toothache. Our dentist was able to fit him in within hours. His tooth has to go. The dentist referred him to an oral surgeon for the extraction and tooth replacement. The bill will be about $5,000!!!!!!!!! Hubby and I talked about maybe just him having the extraction. It is a tooth that may not be that visible missing. The extraction should only cost a few hundred dollars. I told him that maybe he could wait until we move to France. Apparently such a procedure only costs about $2,500 there. Less than $2,000 in Czech Republic, where my husband is from.

Yesterday I put on music in my living room and must have danced for at least 45 minutes. It felt wonderful! I do realize that I miss that passion.
I have been thinking of you an have been hoping to find the time to write to you. After reading this post, I just have to write!

I hope you are as well as possible.
I laughed with JOY as I read of your dancing!!!

Thanks for mentioning passion! Passion is important in my eyes. We can spend months, years, even decades without much, if any, passion. Some of the difficulty might be with illness, with meds, with pain and/or out of habit.

Some of mine has been habit. I have more recently become aware of the importance of passion in my life when I'd had experienced just a spark of it. I hope to cultivate much more. That spark was wonderful and I felt full of life, full of gratitude, on top of the world.

Thanks again for sharing and for mentioning a word we do not see often in a mood -related forum: PASSION!
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Old 10-09-2019, 03:51 PM   #322
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In #38

What is going on? Lol!.... I really wish I knew!

Fern has made some great observations! I hope you can fully hear what Fern is saying!?.... I hear what Fern is saying I think it's just hard

How about you, Laura? What concerns do you have about forming new friendships?.... I'm not going to be liked, I'm not who they thought I was, I'm just not friend material, I'm a dork

I hate myself at the moment and I can't get through it. I'm sorry guys
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Old 10-09-2019, 03:51 PM   #323
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In #38

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Originally Posted by Wild Coyote View Post
I have been thinking of you an have been hoping to find the time to write to you. After reading this post, I just have to write!

I hope you are as well as possible.
I laughed with JOY as I read of your dancing!!!

Thanks for mentioning passion! Passion is important in my eyes. We can spend months, years, even decades without much, if any, passion. Some of the difficulty might be with illness, with meds, with pain and/or out of habit.

Some of mine has been habit. I have more recently become aware of the importance of passion in my life when I'd had experienced just a spark of it. I hope to cultivate much more. That spark was wonderful and I felt full of life, full of gratitude, on top of the world.

Thanks again for sharing and for mentioning a word we do not see often in a mood -related forum: PASSION!
Love that dancing emoji! And your marvelousness, my friend

We do need strong positive feelings and emotions to run through us as often as possible. I try my best to laugh as much as I can. If I can't have a big pleasure, I try to rack up as many mini ones as possible. Today was a lovely day! I hope everyone here has some loveliness to experience. Sometimes we really have to seek it out. Sometimes it's right in front of our eyes, but we have to work to see it. Feel it. Hear it. Touch it. Smell it. Breathe it...
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PRNs - Seroquel IR (25 to 100 mg in a day), Ativan (0.5 mg, up to 3 mg/day)

OTHERS: Propranolol (40 mg), Synthroid (150 mcg), multi-vitamin, iron supplement (during periods)
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Old 10-09-2019, 04:15 PM   #324
Jennifer 1967
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My pdoc of 17-20 years will gladly take me back if I go back to traditional Medicare. Iíve really thought hard about this and just canít do that. The supplement I chose is just better all around and Iím afraid to mess with insurance matters. I will write him a letter telling him how much I appreciate him and what he means to me and probably get him a gift as well. Iím not as wowed by my NP but since he supervises her all is not lost. I see her again in December.

On a side note: I wear flip flops pretty much year round and feel it is my duty to have presentable feet. I go to an inexpensive training college about ten miles away in heavy traffic. I went today...got home and promptly dropped my purse on my big toe. Cue having to call and explain...go back and so on. It wasnít allotted for in my plans. Maybe thatís a sign not to create such a tight schedule.

Iím feeling better. Iíve been forced up and out of the house the past several days due to family needs and obligations and I think that has helped. Maybe a couple of bad days was all it was in the end.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful rest of your week and hugs to those that are struggling.
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Old 10-09-2019, 04:23 PM   #325
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I was thinking about a way I sometimes deal with extreme psychological pain/distress. I know it's not everyone's method. I know that I am not always capable of succeeding with it, but...I often can. It's all about getting "it out". Purging one's system of the really bad stuff. Even if my situation may not be completely changed afterwards, my perspective on it can be, to a degree. Or the purging of it brings some temporary relief that is much needed. Here's a great quote by an extremely funny lady, most all of us know:

"Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are passing you on the street saying, 'I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying, but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster.' Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling." - Ellen DeGeneres

I think a while ago, I posted the content of one of my past blog posts here. It included a couple stories, that at least I found quite funny. I won't post it again, but I'll post the title. It was called "So extremely bad...that's it's amazing!" I guess I thought that perhaps that title (and the subsequent story) has some relation to the quote that Ellen DeGeneres gave us above. The story and the blog's photo featured a most angry looking chicken. Chicken. Gotta love chicken!

Today at my psychiatrist's office, he used the idiom stating that I should "chew my cud" on something. Jokingly, and with exaggerated expression, I said to him "Now, I KNOW you don't actually think I'm a COW!?!?!"

"What's so wrong about cows?!?!" he said.

Really, there is nothing wrong about cows at all. They're nice enough animals, but the mental picture of me looking like a cow chewing my cud couldn't escape my mind.

The truth is, taking a thought (even a really bad or sad one) and chewing it up...processing it...maybe eventually getting something out of it, or not...and then eventually s***ing it out...is good advice.
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Diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1

CURRENT BIPOLAR MEDS: Tegretol XR (1200 mg), Lamictal (100 mg), Seroquel XR (600 mg), Latuda (20 mg), Klonopin (0.5 mg)

PRNs - Seroquel IR (25 to 100 mg in a day), Ativan (0.5 mg, up to 3 mg/day)

OTHERS: Propranolol (40 mg), Synthroid (150 mcg), multi-vitamin, iron supplement (during periods)

Last edited by BirdDancer; 10-09-2019 at 04:43 PM..
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Old 10-09-2019, 04:41 PM   #326
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Heart Re: Bipolar Check-In #38

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Originally Posted by Miss Laura View Post
What is going on? Lol!.... I really wish I knew!

Fern has made some great observations! I hope you can fully hear what Fern is saying!?.... I hear what Fern is saying I think it's just hard

How about you, Laura? What concerns do you have about forming new friendships?.... I'm not going to be liked, I'm not who they thought I was, I'm just not friend material, I'm a dork

I hate myself at the moment and I can't get through it. I'm sorry guys
I hope you know I am trying to be playful?
I am glad you have posted!

Miss Laura, I also often fear I won't be liked once someone really gets to know me, too.

I think this is a common concern.

Some people think I am a dork, a geek, and ... worse! While I might wish they understood me better, I cannot let them rent space in my head. I need to be with the people who accept me and want to spend time with me.

You, too!

We are all human and we are meant to have companions/friends in life.

You don't deserve to be all alone, without companionship, without support, etc.

Do you realize that many of us have some concerns/fear that we won't be liked, or that we will disappoint others, or that we will not know how to relate to new friends, etc. ???

Your concerns are very real; yet, they are not unique. Many of us have the same concerns!

Is there a way to begin a friendship that might be safe enough for you to give it a try?

I hope so because I want to take you to lunch!
I would want to if I lived near you!
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Old 10-09-2019, 04:45 PM   #327
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In #38

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Laura View Post
What is going on? Lol!.... I really wish I knew!

Fern has made some great observations! I hope you can fully hear what Fern is saying!?.... I hear what Fern is saying I think it's just hard

How about you, Laura? What concerns do you have about forming new friendships?.... I'm not going to be liked, I'm not who they thought I was, I'm just not friend material, I'm a dork

I hate myself at the moment and I can't get through it. I'm sorry guys
I'm a huge dork. It is one of my best qualities
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Old 10-09-2019, 05:09 PM   #328
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I feel rundown today. Dont know why. It's 70 degrees out but i had to put the heat on in the car and put on a sweatshirt when I got home.
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Old 10-09-2019, 05:36 PM   #329
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In #38

One more story, then I promise I'll be done for the day.

Maybe a couple years back, the actor Bradley Cooper was a guest on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Somewhere in the conversation, Cooper brought up the actor Christopher Walken. Christopher Walken is a very popularly imitated guy, and a bit of a unique character. So Bradley was saying that he worked on some movie with Walken. At a point, he looked at Walken and Walken was looking him straight in the eye. Then Walken exclaimed, loudly, "PINEAPPLE! I LOVE PINEAPPLE!!!" And that was it.
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Diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1

CURRENT BIPOLAR MEDS: Tegretol XR (1200 mg), Lamictal (100 mg), Seroquel XR (600 mg), Latuda (20 mg), Klonopin (0.5 mg)

PRNs - Seroquel IR (25 to 100 mg in a day), Ativan (0.5 mg, up to 3 mg/day)

OTHERS: Propranolol (40 mg), Synthroid (150 mcg), multi-vitamin, iron supplement (during periods)
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Old 10-09-2019, 05:49 PM   #330
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In #38

Well I finish my Mirapex today.

My doctor has to call in a refill of my prescription tomorrow and my pharmacy has to fill it for me not to miss a dose.

I hope it works out.

If things don't work out I'll have to wait until next Tuesday because my pdoc is in only two times a week.

It has been really busy at work and I'm getting stressed. I hardly have time for lunch and have missed my lunchtime walk.

It's not affecting my mood though, so that's good. I'm not feeling any better yet but the way I look at it, things aren't getting worse.
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