Bipolar Check-In #38

Well, I am just not in a good place this morning. My sleep is just a joke. Fell asleep sometime yesterday afternoon and woke up at 930 pm and have been wide awake since. Mind racing, dysphoric. Just feel gross and dark and yuk. Like I am physically in the wrong place or something, whatever the H that means. Like I'm almost psychotic, but not quite there yet. Anyway, going to have to talk to pdoc because bad sleep like this usually portends disaster for me. Waiting for him to get into the office. Will somehow try to make it through the day. Hope you all are hanging in there and that everyone has at least a decent day.

Hi OverTheRainbow,

Wow...How very disappointing!
I don't fully understand, what is their treatment plan if they won't do the scopes? It seems very crazymaking and quite possibly remiss, especially in how you have been treated.

I am so very sorry. I hope things can be straightened out with ease.

Information Re: Medical Costs:

Many or all public hospitals are gifted with federal funds. In return, they promise to provide "x" amount of free or discounted care.
This was initially secured by the Hill-Burton Act.

There are usually funds available for uninsured or under-insured patients.

As I understand this, when financial info is given to the patient financial aid office/program, the ratios of medical debt vs income and other costs are evaluated. A decision is made and is given to the applicant.

Many public hospitals have these funds available and do not advertise this.

If you need assistance, please call your hospitals patient accounts dept and inquire about patient financial aid.

On a personal note:
I had been under-insured for many years. I'd had medical care at 3 different public hospitals in 3 different states. Each had these funds available. Each paid the balance on all of my care, including visit co-pays and balances on surgeries. My insurance status will change soon. I will be applying to this program again.

Hill-Burton Free and Reduced-Cost Health Care | Official web site of the U.S. Health Resources & Services Administration

I hope this is helpful to someone.
Love to All

I am very sorry you are going through this. It all sounds very uncomfortable and disconcerting. I hope your pdoc will help out in a very helpful way.

If you have a darker room in your home and/or a room in which you can close the shades/drapes, it might be helpful to spend time in the darkest room available. Sometimes, the exposure to darkness can help to quiet down symptoms of mania.

I hope your pdoc offers much more.

Please take good care!

I am sorry you are not feeling well.

Might you also suffer from irritable bowel syndrome?
Many people suffering from fibromyalgia also experience IBS.

i hope you feel better soon!

It's all so very disheartening!
I hope this gets turned around.

Maybe it's best that an apprehensive doctor not do your procedures?
While disappointing, maybe you are being saved from further hardship(s)?

I do think the attitude of the physician/surgeon might have an effect upon a successful procedural outcome, at least on occasion.

I hope this all works out in your very best interest.

I'd had another rough night; yet, did sleep some, off and on, in early morning.

Awakened feeling totally exhausted and dazed. Had gotten up because company was coming this morning.. Even so, had to go back to bed almost immediately.. Noise, any noise, is too much. More comfortable in quiet room, even though cannot sleep more than a few seconds / a couple of minutes at a time.

I am sorry., it took me about 30 minutes to write this (and to correct overt errors.). It's too difficult to write a note right now.

Much Love to All

Hubby and I had to do the monthly (or almost monthly) trip to Philadelphia for his eye appointments. His eye (even eyes) have rather serious issues, so we go to the best eye hospital around - Will's Eye Hospital. Today he had to have the injection. That usually knocks him down for over a day. As soon as we got home, I told him to take a nap, and he has been sleeping for well over an hour. He may not go to work tomorrow. We'll see. Luckily the appointment wasn't quite as long as usual, but I still needed an Ativan to get through it.

While hubby has been sleeping, I made two homemade apple strudels. I used a different recipe, plus I used puff pastry dough instead of phyllo dough. The puff pastry dough was much easier to work with. I even braided the strudels -- a fancy touch that I don't usually do because it's less possible with phyllo dough. They turned out looking good. The first was a little browner than I liked, so I dusted it with confectioner's sugar. The second is perfect! They taste yummy!

Don't be sorry. We do what we can when we can. You offered a lot to the community this morning. Get some rest!

Yes !!! Thank you for a much needed reminder

Oh no glad your being so proactive ! I hope the tide turns quick

You so need to get some solid restful sleep in a regular basis !! We gotta get that figured out.

I’m sorry your husband had a ongoing problem with his vision... I’m glad he’s seeing a great Doctor.

Strudel.... oh yum!!!!!

I'm having panic attack after panic attack. Some of the worst I've had in a long time. I didn't have any for a couple years now they're here full force again

Panic attacks are awful. I’m currently experiencing them for no particular reason. Do you know if anything is triggering them?

Sorry you're dealing with them too I went through some med changes a few months ago , I guess it could be that. I can't think of any other reasons, I'm very stable otherwise

Well I have processed yesterday’s nonsense and it just is what it is. Somehow we will find the money to pay it.

I made homemade egg rolls tonight !! They are so simple and delicious.

Feeling a bit off-ish. I dropped my Seroquel XR from 400mg to 300mg a week ago but the new dose is not agreeing with me. My mood has dropped and I’m suffering from really bad anxiety. So back I go onto the higher dose. I guess I need to just accept the weight gain.
My liver u/sound results have come back not great. I guess it can’t be helped when as many as possible of my meds are deliberately renal-sparing. Meds have to be metabolised by something so through the liver they go.

I second this! Got some staples today at the grocery store so we'll be ok I think. My mom gave me $20.

I'm experiencing much the same thing with my Overeaters Anonymous group. It's usually about five people too. I really enjoy it even tho it is pretty heavy at times. I feel compassion for the women who cry and i like feeling compassion, like to think of myself as a compassionate person. But it *is* a shock to the senses to spend time with five brand new people who are being candid about their suffering. At this time all i have been offering is my silent support, my presence and attention. Also, i have been opening the room and setting it up specially for the maximum comfort of all. Still, the meeting is rather hard on me, especially if the person sharing speaks rapidly in a loud voice or if someone just chats off-topic.

But overall, i am delighted to have met this vibrant robust supportive group of women around my age. It's at a good time of day for me (morning) and in a good neighborhood in a nice venue tho the room itself is rather shabby -- partly why i try and dress up the table which everyone seems to enjoy.

Like you, i know the sensory overload and over-stimulation will decrease with each exposure. This week will be about my fifth meeting so it shouldn't be such a shock to my senses anymore. Only thing is, i have been going out for coffee with one of the women after and i don't know if i can continue as this just increases the stimulation. I'm feeling really sensitive right now and it's probably a bad idea to prolong the experience by going out after. She's a lovely supportive wise philosophical senior woman who teaches me a lot and i do *so* enjoy our time together but it takes me that much longer to recover and i have lots of self-care to get done.

Maybe i will skip it until i am caught up on my self-care?