[~Christina]

I inadvertently highjacked a thread about rapid cycling. So I thought I’d start a thread specific for this topic.

I wrote a pretty long response and how it’s not always rapid cycling if you have never really found baseline.. you have to be able to compare something to gauge where your at mentally.

You can find my ramble on there if you like. I’m on my phone so I can’t copy paste, sorry.

So my questions are ...

What does your baseline look like??

For me I’m able to go about my daily life feeling content and find much joy in lots of things. I’m productive. I’m able to deal with situational things that might pop up out of no where. I don’t have any constant underlying anxiety. I do have to deal with chronic pain which can make my mood poor at time and a life long struggle with insomnia unfortunately and we all know sleep is practically the most important part of living your best life with Bipolar being in it. I generally am able to find something positive in most situations.

I do want to mention that Borderline “ can “ sometimes present as “ rapid cycling “ for some people and they just not realize that could be part of the situation. Having big reactions up and down through out the day is a symptom.

I do not have Borderline but I do have “ some mild traits “ like most anyone with Bipolar does , isn’t Bipolar just great lol

You ?

[fern46]

I'm a pretty chill go with the flow kind of girl who likes to laugh and smile a lot. I'm upbeat and have periods of high energy when I crank through my chores, play with my kids and exercise. I also slow down and take time to relax every day. I'm good under pressure, and I can handle a decent amount of stress. I stay pretty calm most of the time. Every now and again I'll have a day where I'm feeling irritable or overwhelmed, but I typically find it easy to reset and get back to good.

[HALLIEBETH87]

My baseline is very satisfying. I have no psychotic symptoms and I am genuinely content with life. My anxiety is mostly controlled and any breakthrough anxiety I can typically control with various coping strategies. I always struggle with some form of insomnia or sleep disturbance but during baseline its usually more stable. I am highly motivated and productive.

I think I am back to baseline right now.

[Scooter9]

I'm motivated to do things like clean my place, take care of myself.

I care about things when I'm at my baseline.

My thoughts aren't always focused on the way things used to be - I accept the past and present. My future is more hopeful instead of bleak.

Music is nice to listen to. I eat because I want to, not because I have to.

I don't seek out things that make me feel better because I feel better when I'm at my baseline.

The world has color when I'm at my baseline.

[Nammu]

My baseline is pretty low energy but steady on. I find I have a lot more appreciation for baseline now as an old fart than I did when I was younger. I'm more willing to do the lifestyle changes that are needed for me to maintain stability.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

My baseline is pretty low energy but steady on. I find I have a lot more appreciation for baseline now as an old fart than I did when I was younger. I'm more willing to do the lifestyle changes that are needed for me to maintain stability.

Yes yes ! I think as time passes and we .... I dunno “ settle “ into our particular Bipolar soup we realize that we have to make lifestyle changes in whatever way that we will benefit from.

Excellent point Nammu

[Nammu]

Yes, I believe that meds are only part of the equation. All the magic meds in the world won't help if I keep odd hours or go out using illegals and or alcohol. I'm not a teetotaler by any means but two is my limit and I pretty much go to bed between 11:30 and midnight most every night no matter if I feel like it or not. I constantly remind myself that I'm not the center of the universe and most things really are small potatoes

[Gabyunbound]

I know my baseline well, as I only get episodes about every 2 years. It helps me to recognize as soon as I'm heading in the wrong direction, mostly starting with not being able to sleep, despite my medication.

When at baseline, I'm basically content with my life, even if it may seem relatively boring to others (when I used to get hypomanic with more frequency, life was anything but boring!). I'm hopeful about my present and future. I have good, positive relationships with co-workers, family and friends, entirely free of paranoia.

At baseline, I need klonopin to help me sleep, but it works, unlike when I'm not at baseline. However, it means that I need a LOT of sleep in order to function optimally, so I go to bed very early.

At baseline, I can suffer from a lot of anxiety, however my therapist has given me very good tools for my toolbox and it, generally, though occasionally, does not get overwhelming.

Because of euphoric hypomania having taken the ugly turn to mania in the past, I really appreciate my baseline even if it may seem, as I mentioned before, boring to some. When I was young, before I was diagnosed and put on medication, I cycled more rapidly and my life was chaotic. I now appreciate the peace.

[Blueberrybook]

Well, it's been years since I've been off meds and had a real gauge of my baseline as an adult. The only time I was off meds, I was pregnant, so I was quite hormonal.

I am doing better on lithium and now realize baseline means I can focus on one thought and don't have 20 thoughts or more racing through my head. I can deal with situations that normally irritate me (traffic, my daughter refusing to wake up and nearly screaming at me when PMS is in play, unexpected changes in daily routine). I am able to focus on one thing at a time and prioritize thoughts such as it is not an emergency I go to the store because I am out of cashews and that I am driving and need to focus on that without diverting my attention from the road. I can read and picture the story. I become involved in TV shows. I have started doing some long-due organization, even baked muffins for my daughter for breakfast yesterday instead of giving her microwave pancakes because they are easy. I don't impulsively shop.

I have fewer panic attacks. I take better care of myself, i.e., make time to have breakfast before 11:30 AM instead of putting all my minor chores first and just having lunch because it is nearly lunchtime. Same with getting a shower before noon. I put on makeup. Lately, I have been able to exercise a more reasonable amount and walking instead of jogging - 30 minutes to around an hour, usually 45 minutes. I even go in before that time if I am hurting a lot and actually do the stretch videos I look up on YouTube.

Maybe this is my baseline, but I don't know. I'd love to get back to the way I was in high school (minus the depression & anxiety, bipolar got bad in college). I used to write stories and won medals for persuasive writing in contests. I used to have a razor sharp memory, got an M.S. in Cell & Molecular Biology. I was a decent pencil/charcoal sketch artist. I haven't written or drawn since around 1998.

I have started becoming more affectionate with H, initiating sex or even just touch & hold or kissing, something I remember doing when we started dating but that I haven't done in a long time.

I take a couple minutes to enjoy simple things I have always liked, like the clouds when lined by sunlight or the feeling of being outside before a storm, loving my cat purring sitting next to me, not manic super intense colors/feelings/etc., just normal. I've felt content reading on the couch as my daughter does her daily homework reading next to me. I have started engaging in meaningful conversations with my daughter.

I forget less and can spell words (always was an excellent speller).

I have started to view being a homemaker and taking care of H and my daughter as an important job and not to be ashamed that I am well-educated but not employed in a "real" job. I have been there for my daughter for every single award ceremony, nerve racking spelling bee, math competition, play, school carnival, dance performance, student of the month breakfast, breakfast with mom. I never missed a single one, even though rewards ceremonies could be terribly tedious.

IDK, but it feels like it more the way life should be.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm muted and a little low for my base line. I'm not a laugh out loud person more of a smile thinking that was amusing type person. I'm calmer but still filled with anxiety. I don't want to hurt myself as much. I'm unmotivated but okay with it.

[*Beth*]

I'm planning on discussing baseline and stability with my therapist tomorrow. The subject is important to me and I really believe it is necessary for me to have a better grasp of it.

My baseline. I'm a passionate person with very strong feelings about life, and I'm extremely sensitive to injustice - not only for myself, but for others. I'm highly motivated and drive myself hard. I love life and I love to recreate life by using art. I do, however, require a lot of downtime and sleep.

And I could say more, but I'm not sure if I'm describing my personality or my baseline. How much of "me" is me - and how much is bipolar disorder, and how much do they overlap - and can they really be separated, one from the other?

That's what I want to talk with my therapist about. This is important stuff and I'm all confused, lol.

[Wild Coyote]

CHRISTINA (From other thread): *

When I refer to baseline it’s as my Pdoc believes.

“ To feel content with life” able to go about life taking care of responsibilities and also enjoying feeling good and able to enjoy activities of whatever level your comfortable with ( like I’ll never be okay in crowds )

Something that the majority of people who have Bipolar struggle with is how to recognize the difference between hypo happy and baseline happy

For me Hypo happy is fantastical , everything is sparkling, colors are brighter , food tastes amazing everything is just MORE .. of course it feels Amazing.

My baseline is ... things are good. I’m enjoying my life, I’m happy with what I have. I take care of my day to day responsibilities, I make plans for the future. Things to look forward too. I have a positive attitude.

Now if you compare Hypo feel versus baseline of course everyone would rather feel hypo all the time.

Hypo is like a drug. People get hooked on drugs to get high because it feels Amazing but it can’t last for long because there whole life starts to crumble.

So everyone in there own way has to come to there own realization what hypo is and how it looks in there life vs non hypo but enjoying life baseline.

For me .... I had to really look at the way my Bipolar would flow. Yes Hypo is great but what always always follows is dark ugly angry rage. So as much as hypo is appealing I work hard to reel myself back , step away from that flashing neon light calling me because I dooooo enjoy my stability, it’s not boring. I work hard to stay stable... I owe that to myself as much as for my loved ones. Hypo/manic episodes can be devastating to me but also anyone in my life.

I dunno maybe that doesn’t make sense to anyone but that’s how I’ve made sense of me to myself.

For me whether I am on meds or off is the same way thought process . I’m currently med free and doing very well Bipolar wise.
__________________

* Copied as per Christina's request.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

CHRISTINA (From other thread): *


When I refer to baseline it’s as my Pdoc believes.


“ To feel content with life” able to go about life taking care of responsibilities and also enjoying feeling good and able to enjoy activities of whatever level your comfortable with ( like I’ll never be okay in crowds )


Something that the majority of people who have Bipolar struggle with is how to recognize the difference between hypo happy and baseline happy


For me Hypo happy is fantastical , everything is sparkling, colors are brighter , food tastes amazing everything is just MORE .. of course it feels Amazing.


My baseline is ... things are good. I’m enjoying my life, I’m happy with what I have. I take care of my day to day responsibilities, I make plans for the future. Things to look forward too. I have a positive attitude.


Now if you compare Hypo feel versus baseline of course everyone would rather feel hypo all the time.


Hypo is like a drug. People get hooked on drugs to get high because it feels Amazing but it can’t last for long because there whole life starts to crumble.


So everyone in there own way has to come to there own realization what hypo is and how it looks in there life vs non hypo but enjoying life baseline.


For me .... I had to really look at the way my Bipolar would flow. Yes Hypo is great but what always always follows is dark ugly angry rage. So as much as hypo is appealing I work hard to reel myself back , step away from that flashing neon light calling me because I dooooo enjoy my stability, it’s not boring. I work hard to stay stable... I owe that to myself as much as for my loved ones. Hypo/manic episodes can be devastating to me but also anyone in my life.


I dunno maybe that doesn’t make sense to anyone but that’s how I’ve made sense of me to myself.


For me whether I am on meds or off is the same way thought process . I’m currently med free and doing very well Bipolar wise.

__________________


* Copied as per Christina's request.

Thanks so much for doing this WC

[yellow_fleurs]

I am trying to figure out my baseline. I am not sure. I do think emotional regulation is a factor, and if I had mild borderline personality traits I would not be totally surprised. I have a couple of close friends and a family member who had close relationships with people (such as parents) with BPD and have discussed this with them and they have all said they definitely don't see it with me though. It's also a challenge because I have PMDD so it's like every couple of weeks my moods shift due to hormones, plus if I ever took birth control I felt bad the whole time. Also OCD has been affecting my moods as well. I've also been realizing some of my emotional issues are related to periods of sensory overload. In addition, I had some a health problem known to be able to affect moods and it went undiagnosed for some time. So, I am on a journey to figure out my baseline I guess. I certainly don't think all of my issues are related to bipolar mood episodes, just not sure what they are related to. It would be nice to feel stable and grounded for an extended period of time.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

I am trying to figure out my baseline. I am not sure. I do think emotional regulation is a factor, and if I had mild borderline personality traits I would not be totally surprised. I have a couple of close friends and a family member who had close relationships with people (such as parents) with BPD and have discussed this with them and they have all said they definitely don't see it with me though. It's also a challenge because I have PMDD so it's like every couple of weeks my moods shift due to hormones, plus if I ever took birth control I felt bad the whole time. Also OCD has been affecting my moods as well. I've also been realizing some of my emotional issues are related to periods of sensory overload. In addition, I had some a health problem known to be able to affect moods and it went undiagnosed for some time. So, I am on a journey to figure out my baseline I guess. I certainly don't think all of my issues are related to bipolar mood episodes, just not sure what they are related to. It would be nice to feel stable and grounded for an extended period of time.

Yes!! It is difficult to figure things out when you have numerous issues going on..I don’t deal with the hormonal stuff , but mine is pain

I hope you can find stability soon

We all need that desperately to just catch a break

[Wild Coyote]

It's interesting to read the entries offered by all.

I'd like to contribute, but feel lost on grasping this concept.
I've been totally medically disabled for 30+ years. I have had all kinds of diagnoses, mis-diagnoses. I have lived with all kinds of meds/med cocktails. I used to know who I was, what my attributes were. I still know who I was at the time of original illness. I don't think that is my baseline anymore, as I have not seen that side of myself in many years.

I am very fatigued and, usually, challenged with a lot of pain due to several medical conditions. I experience some difficulties with everyday living, needing some assistance with some tasks. I LOVE to find/create humor and FUN , whenever/wherever I can do so. I tend to be very grounded, although not as grounded as many. I love people. I love to learn. I am enJOYing art, in all forms, more and more. I love music. I so enJOY the nature and the outdoors. I often pursue my spiritual quest, which has been a huge interest since childhood.

Is this some of my baseline? Or is this a different description? I have not a clue.
Help me out, ~Christina!

My stability is still affected by some meds and by my situation(s)/environment factors this year. It has been tough, maybe impossible, to find a high degree of stability under these circumstances. I am, however, more stable than I have been at times, thanks to Lamictal.

Love to All

I agree with Wild Coyote that this thread has attracted many interesting responses. It's lovely to read. Thanks for starting this thread, Christina, and thanks to everyone who has contributed. I'm sure even some who haven't written here are thinking about this.

When I am baseline, which I think I'm at now, I'm fairly upbeat and energetic. [Actually, maybe today isn't a perfect example since I just started my monthly.] I like projects a lot and am usually able to come up with some easily. Then I really get into them and hyperfocus. They aren't always the ones I should be doing, but oh well! I find and make humor in lots of things. Sometimes I am the only one laughing, but that's OK. When I go out, I usually have at least something interesting happen or to observe. I am very outgoing at baseline and don't hesitate to talk to people. I still flirt, but not as blatantly as I do when I am some degree of manic. Don't get me wrong, it's not always happy joy. I can still be set off easily. I have a little temper, when triggered, but it passes quickly. I'm loud and gabby even at baseline. I try to calm it, but it's not always easy. It's partly from exuberance and partly learned from my upbringing. I'm generally confident and curious. I usually live in and savor the present.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Yes!! It is difficult to figure things out when you have numerous issues going on..I don’t deal with the hormonal stuff , but mine is pain

I hope you can find stability soon

We all need that desperately to just catch a break

Thank you! I hope you as well get some stability back, and especially catch a break from all the medical stuff like your asthma. I do feel like I am moving towards becoming more stable at least in terms of self awareness and coping skills, so I recognize it at least.

[*Beth*]

I spent most of my session with my therapist today discussing baseline and stability. And how they are different from personality.

She said that baseline can change; it doesn't necessarily remain exactly the same over a lifetime.

She told me that, in her opinion, my baseline is consistently mild mania and mild depression together. I said that yes, I agree entirely. And what can I say? I do agree.

So a perpetual mixed state that is, at its best, mild.

I left the session with not good thoughts about myself or my life.

[yellow_fleurs]

BethRags I am sorry you left the session feeling that way. That seems really tough to be in a perpetual mixed state. Was there any discussion of the possibility of getting to a different state in time with therapy? I can imagine the idea of that being baseline to be upsetting since it must be difficult to feel that way all the time. Is your therapist's opinion of baseline the state you spend the most time in?