How do I explain to my parents about my mental illnesses?

I was clinically diagnosed by a clinical psychologist for having borderline personality disorder and social anxiety disorder two and a half years ago. I was also diagnosed by two different psychiatrist for having bipolar disorder.

I have been to the mental hospital twice.

My parents are aware of all that. They never recognised my clinical psychologist’s diagnose. They said I don’t have it, despite the fact that they are laymen and he has more than 20 years of experience.

They just recognised what the psychiatrists said, but they only feel like I have mania. And mania can mean anything they disagree with. If I want some potato chips at night, that’s mania. If sleep only with my boxers on, that’s mania. Anything they don’t like is mania.

I have been having suicidal thoughts again. I told my mum about it, and she gave me the same reply I got when I left the mental hospital two years ago. She said “You think I want to wake up everyday? You think I want to do laundry everyday? Cook dinner everyday?”

I’m not saying my parents don’t love me, they love me 100% plus 10. But they seem to pretend like I don’t actually have it.

Please help, I’m stressing out.

I'm sorry you are going through this. A diagnosis like this is hard to handle and it can feel even worse when our loved ones don't understand. Do you see a therapist? If so, it may make sense to do a couple of family sessions. He or she can assist in helping to explain bipolar disorder, what the symptoms truly look like and how they can best support you. Sometimes a therapist can provide greater assitance because they are typically less clinical in their explanation and they also have experience treating the emotional struggles people go through during the acceptance process. Also, a therapist can help you work through your feelings about how you've been treated by your family. If not, you may want to pick up a book or two for your parents. There are several good ones available targeted at loved ones supporting those with bipolar disorder.

Keep in mind though that you can only control you. You can control your actions and what you're doing each day to stay as healthy as possible. You control how much you learn and how seasoned your toolkit is to handle your symptoms. You control who you lean on for support. If your parents aren't the best support and make things worse, go elsewhere. You came here for support from those who can understand. You're off to a good start!

My only other thought is to print out a checklist of manic and depressive symptoms. If your parents accuse you of being in an episode and you feel like you are stable, maybe you can step through the list together and discuss your perspectives. For example, you'd be able to discuss the potato chip example. If you're just hungry and you're not experiencing a decreased need for sleep or agitation or racing thoughts or pressured speech or any of the other symptoms you could probably both agree you're just hungry.

Good luck to you, and welcome to PC. I hope you find the support here you are seeking.

Welcome, ChadDuncanChiu. I'm not sure how to help, but I'm inclined to suggest you take one of your parents (or both) to your next psychiatrist appointment. Do you have an appointment coming up soon?

How ever things evolve, keep posting here. I'm confident we can help sort out confused thoughts. I know that many of us here can relate to your situation. For my part, I have family members who refuse to believe I have bipolar disorder. It's probably a little different for me though because I'm not living with any of the doubters.

With regard to the suicidal thoughts, do you have access to crisis support lines to telephone there in Hong Kong? I don't know what to recommend, but I would want you to reach out to some sort of professional help if you are feeling suicidal.


I have only a vague sense of the time difference between California and Hong Kong, and I'm leaving for work right now, but I'll check in with you when I get home from work. Take care of yourself.

Speaking from experience I can say that parents can love you completely but still have a toxic or damaging effect on your life. Your mother's response to your thoughts of suicide was awful. She made it all about her and in doing so dismissed your actual problems. This is important to address with a psychiatrist, therapist, or both. I know you want them to acknowledge your mental health issues, but maybe ask why you want that. Is it because you want them to help, or is it that you are frustrated by their reaction?

Welcome to Psych Central, ChadDuncanChiu. Since you mentioned struggling with suicidal thoughts, I wanted to offer you links some articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully may be of some help:

Suicidal? Don't Throw Away Your Shot

Suicidal? What Van Gogh's Life Can Teach You

How to Survive Suicidal Thoughts

How Suicidal Thoughts Can Become a Coping Mechanism

My best wishes to you...

Welcome to the PC Bipolar Forum!

I hope you will find the support and the information you may be seeking.
It's great you have jumped in here! Please know you are very welcome to continue to post here and on other threads.

I am sorry your parents do not understand. I have found this to be often true. It is sad and likely stirs up other feelings, too.
Our friends (aboce) have mad great suggestions!

I am hoping you od have a therapist and/or a pdoc to help you with this issue.

In the U.S., we have an organization that works with families in family education, etc. Do you know if there is a similar organization in your area?

It's just fine to express your many feelings here. We do understand. We will do our best to lend support to you.

I hope to see you around!

How old are you?