Stress causing anxiety and depression

I am at the verge of a breakdown, due to too much stress.

I have emigrated from South Africa to the UK, on my OWN (With my doggie!) a month ago.

I basically know no one here, or those strangers I met through mutual friends live hours away.

The office I work in is a 4m x 4m office with no windows to outside, just some windows to the end of the corridor, so I don't really see anything.

It is just me and the director in the office, who travels a fair bit, so I am often alone in the room, making me feel like I am in isolation. On other days he may work from home initially, so only comes in late, so I still feel very isolated.

I have now started to go to the pub every now and again, but there are not a lot of people there, and none of them start conversation. At least it is the presence of people around, and hearing real voices as opposed to just the TV.

I am really struggling with loneliness. Last weekend I went to visit a friend who lives 3 hours away from me, and Sunday afternoon, at the thought of leaving, I had a panic attack and just froze. I couldn't cope with the thought of being alone.
I miss my friends from back home so terribly. I am clinging onto this one friend for dear life (She is actually a mutual friend who I had not met until I moved here, but I feel so co-dependent as she is something that at least is stable in my life)

The anxiety and thoughts in my head are triggering my depression. I am BP 2, so the depression is the part that scares me the most.
I am hoping to meet a lady with some horses a bit down the road from me, with the plan to get back into the saddle. I'm sure that will help me while away the time.
I am trying to meet people in the area through Facebook.

But the loneliness in the evening is killing me. The depression is killing me. I often question why I was silly enough to think I am strong enough to cope with this. But going home is not an option. I therefore feel like I am between a rock and hard place, and I hate feeling like I am cornered. I don't think I can quite explain the pain in my soul, the depression and at times just not having faith in yourself.

They say moving is one of the most stressful things you can go through. Now add in loneliness. A proper grieving process due to having lost your friends and life back home. No routine and navigating streets you are not familiar with. Mental illness.
It's becoming too much

I know nothing about the UK. So I'm sorry if this is unhelpful. It's there a way that you can take class at night? Are you in or can you get in therapy.? Is there support groups that you can go to? Can you volunteer to with 4 h type program? Is there a program like meetups that you can use?

I have signed up on MeetUp. It seems pretty daunting to be honest, like rocking up at a pub for an 80's evening and you don't know a soul
I am not sure what classes there are. There is a community center around the corner from me, and they have a gym. Gym-ing is not really my thing, but I am considering going to just to while away the time and maybe meet some people.
I am beginning to feel like I have social anxiety, because I feel "lazy" to get out of my house and travel to meet people.

I have only registered with the NHS last week. They did mention that it should take about a week before I can get an NHS number, which should be about today. I then would need to make an appointment with a GP, who can refer me to a therapist.

That's all I've managed to work out this far

It is good to see you again, sugahorse! Though I am very sorry you are feeling so bad.

Though MeetUp might seem daunting, I encourage you to give it a chance. It's helped me get out a lot, and I rarely went out at all before. And nearly everyone comes into a group not already knowing people, so they've all "been there". It's something in common. Although I've lived where I am for a decade now, MANY (most, even) of the people that I have met are quite new to the area. Different groups will feel different, and also vary based on who shows up at a given event. Sometimes I'm raring to go, other times I kind of have to push myself. But it has always turned out to be worthwhile, even if only for getting me out of the house so I'm not too much of a recluse. A lot of times, I have a very good time. I think you will too.

Does the community center have other things going besides the gym?

*********
Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure

Hi IZ- There are gym classes at the community center. Massage Studio. Weight Loss program. A lot of the social activities are during the day while I am working, but in the evenings I could choose between:
Pilates on a Mon (Could give this a go)
Bridge on a Thurs (No idea how to play that)
Bingo on a Tues (I could give this a bash)
Bowls on a Tuesday (I could give this a bash)
Model Railway Club on a Tues (Not me!)

I've gone to sit in the pub, but don't really get to start a conversation there.
I have joined a Whatsapp group for the local dog lovers to try get together to walk the dogs, but mostly that's also during the day while I'm working.

Meeting people is half the issue, but dealing with the emotions around what I've left behind, is another. And this is where I am struggling a lot. I need to try get it into my head that relationships are still pretty similar, even if they are not physical but just via message or phonecall. Can't get my head around that and feel like I am mourning the loss of all my friendships

Is it ok to ask what your goal was in moving? I've moved quite a bit, and would sometimes need to recall this to help sort things out.

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Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure

South Africa is becoming a scary place to live. Not only is there crime, but it is unnecessarily violent. People being murdered (And not just a straight forward murder either) for a mere mobile phone, or even for nothing. Infrastructure is either non existent, or it is falling into shambles due to lack of funds caused by a corrupt government. Cape Town was on the verge of completely running out of water, and we were already limited to 50l water/person/day. Trains don't run, and if they do, they are not safe mainly due to stabbings and robbery. We don't have enough electricity, so during peak usage times, houses and business have their electricity cut for 2 - 6 hours a day.
We have to live with security gates and bar, private armed security, electric fences or razor wires.
Windows on cars ALWAYS shut.

I think you get the picture. Sadly it is a beautiful country that is going to wreck and ruin. There are some lovely places and as a tourist you probably wouldn't realise what it is actually like living there. I just thought there is no way I am going to live there another 40 years, so if I am going to see myself emigrating, why put off the inevitable.
But it doesn't make it any less hard actually making the jump. Just me and my pug

Wow, I had no idea it had gotten so difficult there. Sounds like you made a wise long-term decision. But good long-term choices often have short-term pain. So, don't beat yourself up about this transition being so difficult for you. Emigrating is never easy for anyone. You are not unique in that regard. You're in a whole new country with a completely different culture and climate and scenery. It's a massive change. Give yourself a break. It's going to take some time, but you will settle in. Just keep your head down and keep plugging away. Things will settle in and you will feel more at home.

I moved to New York City from the west coast of the US many years ago to go to college. The town I was from was friendly and safe and the surrounding scenery, physically spectacular. I found New Yorkers to be gruff, cold, and unhelpful. It was ugly and in disrepair. I was flagrantly discriminated against based on my religious background. I did not fit in. All in all, it was depressing and miserable. I stayed because the school was fantastic. After a few months, I met a couple kids from New Jersey. They were warm and friendly and showed me how to ride the subway and not get killed. New York stuff. Pretty soon, I felt more comfortable. I had a couple pals. They treated me with respect. It helped. Not all New Yorkers, it turned out, were jerks. I didn't have a lot of friends, but I have two. And that was enough.

So, don't throw in the towel. Hang in there. You will meet people and some of those people will be nice. I've spent a lot of time in the UK. The British people are fundamentally good folks. Just keep after it. And don't lose hope. At least you're not getting mugged in your old city.

Some good thoughts from bpcyclist. I also had no idea things had gotten that bad there! Yikes.

Did you get your job since you've been there, or did you line it up ahead of time? I wonder if having a job with some more people around might help some(?) I hope you can meet the lady down the street with horses, I know you love them. Animals are great. Speaking of .. I'm so glad you have your doggie wirh you!!

I don't know if adult education classes are an available thing, but that can be a way to meet people and have a nice time too.

I believe in you. You ARE strong enough. It is hard, and will take time, but I'm sure you will get there. Many, many hugs...

*********
Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure

I was lucky that I managed to line up a job before I came. However, I guess I could not envision quite how lonely it would get, being along in the office with no one else. And I'm really not over-exaggerating. It is just myself and my boss in a tiny office, and then he has also been away all of this last week, so I have truly been alone.

I also have been to see and ride the horses down the road, and as long as I can make a plan to go regularly, it will do wonders for me.

Would not have managed it this far without my doggy....

You can do this, @sugahorse1! WE ALL BELIEVE IN YOU AND WE'RE ALL CHEERING YOU ON! Please find as many distractions as you can. It won't fight back your loneliness necessarely but it will certainly provide you with other things to think about. Keep finding new ways to meet new people and I am SURE you're bound to meet someone whom you will enjoy spending some Time with! Keep it up! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @sugahorse1, your family, your friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Please feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you're feeling lonely or ANYTIME really if you need someone to talk to or vent to! I am SURE plenty of others will be REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GLAD AND HAPPY TO HELP YOU OUT AS WELL! THAT'S A PROMISE! I PROMISE YOU THAT! YOU CAN COUNT ON US! YO CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! I AM SURE OF THAT! Keep fighting and keep rocking no matter what happens!

I am so sorry for everything you are dealing with. I cannot even imagine your pain. I hope you are able to find some friends and get settled in sooner rather than later!

I do just wish I could find some friends. You need people in real life. Yes, I have my friends from back home and we chat via Whatsapp all day long, but in the evenings and weekends it would really be lovely to see some physical people.
It appears to be very difficult to get in to see the GP, to get a repeat script as well as to get a referral to a therapist. This is going to frustrate me terribly about the NHS. Back at home we had to pay insurance, which was quite expensive, but we at least could see a GP that same day. And it was simple enough to get a referral to a therapist. The specialists did have waiting periods. But now I have to wait so long just to get into the system....My meds run out Mid Dec, so I need to make sure I get a refill before then

I just am really feeling lonely and miss my friends so much.
I already only shower every 2 days, because it is a mission. I normally just heat quick heat up meals, because I am too lazy to cook. Some days I need to keep busy, so I then do cook to distract me

Well, look. I'm not generally a fan of these things, but have you considered joining one of the legitimate dating sites relevant to your part of the UK? Not to find some kind of super-hot hookup situation, but just to maybe connect with somebody for a movie or a coffee or trip to the museum or whatever. Maybe another dog person? It might help push you out of the house and give you an opportunity to connect with other people in you area. I was on one of those sites some time ago and I must say, I still receive inquiries and texts and stuff from having been on there. Really surprised me. Just a thought. Also, what breed is your dog? Have you looked into whether there is a local club for owners of that breed in your area? That might be fun, too.

Thanks for those genuine suggestions @bpcyclist! I have a pug! I have joined 2 "dating" sites - one is for motorbike riders and one is for country life singles to meet up. I need to actually subscribe to the country one, as it appears I cannot send messages unless I'm subscribed, so I can't actually meet people! I am not sure if Tinder is active in the UK? I did meet 2 people back in South Africa via the app. None were worth my time, but I at least did get out and meet strangers.