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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
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Oct 16, 2019 at 06:35 PM
#1
Feeling depressed when I'm not really used to it is weird. Its hard. I have the symptoms and my pdoc says I have it but like when I am manic, I just can't see it. Everything feels dark, but at the same time, I want to crawl into a small dark place and never come out. I am being lead by an invisible force/being. I am falling away, even as I see myself I can't stop. I wait for bad things to keep happening - its like I'm constantly dodging them. I can't hold still on top of it all. I yearn for music- angels singing, voices ringing. I seek the lithe tones and the fullness of souls yearning for help, yet cherishing every sob, every wave of pain. I fall into the darkened cold, cold skies and stay still, motionless. Quiet. Solitude.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
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Oct 16, 2019 at 10:45 PM
#2
That really haunting .. but I can relate to it all
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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Oct 16, 2019 at 11:22 PM
#3
So can I. Immensely so.
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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Oct 17, 2019 at 08:07 AM
#4
You are speaking to me.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,468
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16 2,544 hugs
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Oct 17, 2019 at 01:20 PM
#5
I slept till noon BUT I got out of the house and went to Starbucks. My friend was there. I think Im going to go to my mom's place and get the book I ordered weeks ago and take it home to bed to read. That's my grand plan for the day.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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Legendary
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Oct 17, 2019 at 02:44 PM
#6
Thanks for sharing, Moose.
Glad you could get out with your friend 
__________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. 
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,468
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16 2,544 hugs
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Oct 17, 2019 at 03:40 PM
#7
I went to the grocery store and got eggs, milk, bread, peanut butter and baked beans (to go with rice). I hope this will last me till the first. NOW I'm finally home to rest. I also found a wheat penny. My aunt collects them so I save them whenever I can for her. I've got 2 right now.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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