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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
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#21
Woke up nauseas and panicked. Only 2.5 hours sleep so far. Getting close to 2 am. Hoping I get back to sleep soon. Listening to music for now.
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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bizi, TunedOut
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*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#22
Wow! I perked up when I read that you were really close to an attempt, but you called the hospital instead! That's inspiring to me.
I hope you're allowing yourself to just relax and rest. <----- drinking tea __________________ |
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bizi, zapatoes
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Wander
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
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#23
It’s 10 am. Not much sleep but Ive been curled up in bed this morning. Anxiety just getting worse. Want to abscond. Waiting for a nurse. I’m not safe. Voluntary hospital so I can run any minute. Just so terrified.
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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yellow_fleurs
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#24
Hi Wander, I am so sorry you are struggling like this. I am glad you are in the hospital and that you made that call. I am also glad to hear that the nurse was kind and your pdoc supportive. Is there anything you can try to help bring yourself physically back into the present and to feel more grounded? Maybe one of the staff can guide you through an exercise? Are there opportunities for movement like walks, yoga? Right now it sounds like you are in a safe environment with people who want to help you. If you are afraid you will leave too soon could you discuss your concerns with the pdoc?
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bizi
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*Beth*, Wander
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
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#25
Quote:
She gave me Seroquel. It didn’t help last night but I’ve had a higher dose. There are meditation and yoga classes here once a week. Right now I’m too terrified and paranoid to go though. I’m worse today than when I was admitted. The nurses are watching me closely. I’m still curled up in my bed to prevent myself from running away. __________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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franz kafka
blesses the rains down in Africa
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: NY
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#26
Do you think you need a higher level of care? At times I've needed to be in the more acute ward.
__________________ dx: schizoaffective bipolar type; OCD; GAD rx: clozapine, clonazepam PRN |
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*Beth*, Wander
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
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Location: Milky Way
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#27
The thought of being locked up terrifies me. It would add to my trauma. Still, it may get to that if things don’t improve. I am being reviewed later today. This hospital has no locked ward. I would be sent to the state hospital which is an awful place. Thanks though.
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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*Beth*, bizi, bpcyclist
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bizi
happines is a decision
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#28
do what ever you need to do to be safe.
(((((HUGS))))) Glad your nurse knows you. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Wander
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
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#29
Saw my pdoc. As Clonazepam and Seroquel only work for a short period of time then my anxiety is worse than before he has put me on Haloperidol, and increased the Seroquel. Still freaking out, just in a calmer way.
Had to cancel my T appointment for tomorrow as my pdoc believes I’m not safe to be outside the hospital. He is right. Things are still getting worse. I need it to turn around soon. __________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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bizi, bpcyclist, Innerzone
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bizi, ~Christina
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Bizi is bizi
bizi
happines is a decision
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
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#30
It sounds like your pdoc is in your corner.
(((((HUGS))))) bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Wander
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bpcyclist
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#31
Hey, Wander, so very sorry you are struggling like this. Here is to hoping they soon come up with a med combo that really works for you.
I got really sick about ten years ago and they sent me to our state hospital. I was there for a very long time. I was quite scared at first, but as it turned out, the care I received there was quite good, I think. Not sure what state you are in, but just wanted to briefly say that, while they seem to get a very bad rap, not all state hospitals are a nightmare. Some are actually pretty good. Hope today is a better day for you!! __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Wander
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chels127
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#32
Wander, I want you to know that I'm praying for you right now. I understand how scared you are. Please know that you are COURAGEOUS and STRONG. I know this because it takes tremendous strength and bravery to make arrangements to go inpatient. You DID this, and by doing so you saved a life. Your life. You are very inspiring! Please keep fighting. I know it's so very difficult, but it won't always feel this way. The darkness will finally lift and you will see the light again. Please remember that.
__________________ Bipolar 1, although pdoc now thinks it's possibly BP2. Newly diagnosed Spring 2019. Current meds: Seroquel IR 300 mg Wellbutrin 150 mg XL Clonazepam .5mg as needed Supplements: NAC, Fish oil, Multivitamin, Vit. D, Vit B-12, Magnesium, Lithium Orotate, L-Methylfolate, Probiotic, Calcium, Vitamin C, ("Twilight Time" containing L-Theanine, L-Tryptophan, and Melatonin) |
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Wander
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#33
I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much, Wander. I hope this hospitalization helps you out as much as possible, and you made the right choice by going. |
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Wander
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
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#34
Quote:
On another note. I had heaps of PRN Seroquel 50 mg a time, Clonazepam 3 mg, and Haloperidol 5 mg. I should be unconscious. I feel wired, but I’m going to try and sleep now as it’s midnight. __________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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~Christina
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*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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#35
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Wander
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Grand Magnate
cashart10
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#36
I haven’t read any responses or updates but I just want to say I’m so happy you are safe in the hospital! That’s right where you need to be. You can try to challenge thoughts that you know were lies in the past. If you do that, hopefully you can become well sooner. I wish you a speedy recovery! All my love!
__________________ ***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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Wander
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Fuzzybear
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#37
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Wander
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Grand Magnate
fern46
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#38
Good morning Wander. I am sending well wishes and positive thoughts that today will be a better day. How'd you sleep?
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Wander
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~Christina
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#39
When I have been a disaster I get put on heavy meds to literally knock me out but despite them it often takes 3-4 days before I finally crash and sleep for 12-14 hours then we would begin to actually start working on finding a combo of meds that help balance me out.
I’m glad your in a safe place with professionals to help you __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Wander
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Grand Magnate
Wander
exists in a dualistic state...
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
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#40
Thanks Fern. Last night I slept three hours then was awake for hours then had a half hour nap before waking up at 6 am. This was with Seroquel and Haloperidol before bed. Maybe I will be able to have a short nap this afternoon. So far today is better than this time yesterday. I still feel awful but maybe today will be a better day. Only 9.30 am here.
__________________ Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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