advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 02, 2019 at 12:57 PM
  #21
Woke up nauseas and panicked. Only 2.5 hours sleep so far. Getting close to 2 am. Hoping I get back to sleep soon. Listening to music for now.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, TunedOut

advertisement
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 02, 2019 at 07:57 PM
  #22
Wow! I perked up when I read that you were really close to an attempt, but you called the hospital instead! That's inspiring to me.

I hope you're allowing yourself to just relax and rest.

<----- drinking tea

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, zapatoes
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 02, 2019 at 08:54 PM
  #23
It’s 10 am. Not much sleep but Ive been curled up in bed this morning. Anxiety just getting worse. Want to abscond. Waiting for a nurse. I’m not safe. Voluntary hospital so I can run any minute. Just so terrified.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, bpcyclist, TunedOut
 
Thanks for this!
bizi
yellow_fleurs
Grand Poohbah
yellow_fleurs has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
5 yr Member
1,265 hugs
given
Default Dec 02, 2019 at 09:22 PM
  #24
Hi Wander, I am so sorry you are struggling like this. I am glad you are in the hospital and that you made that call. I am also glad to hear that the nurse was kind and your pdoc supportive. Is there anything you can try to help bring yourself physically back into the present and to feel more grounded? Maybe one of the staff can guide you through an exercise? Are there opportunities for movement like walks, yoga? Right now it sounds like you are in a safe environment with people who want to help you. If you are afraid you will leave too soon could you discuss your concerns with the pdoc?
yellow_fleurs is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Wander
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 02, 2019 at 09:56 PM
  #25
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs View Post
Hi Wander, I am so sorry you are struggling like this. I am glad you are in the hospital and that you made that call. I am also glad to hear that the nurse was kind and your pdoc supportive. Is there anything you can try to help bring yourself physically back into the present and to feel more grounded? Maybe one of the staff can guide you through an exercise? Are there opportunities for movement like walks, yoga? Right now it sounds like you are in a safe environment with people who want to help you. If you are afraid you will leave too soon could you discuss your concerns with the pdoc?
Thanks. I just spoke to my nurse who helped ground me, and give me wise advice. I discussed my desperate urge abscond to end it all. She offered me all the support possible to keep me safe. She has known me for nine years throughout many hospitalisations (not that I saw her every time) so she can read me well. I’m lucky to have her as my primary nurse this admission. I haven’t chatted to her much for years.

She gave me Seroquel. It didn’t help last night but I’ve had a higher dose. There are meditation and yoga classes here once a week. Right now I’m too terrified and paranoid to go though. I’m worse today than when I was admitted. The nurses are watching me closely. I’m still curled up in my bed to prevent myself from running away.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, bpcyclist, Victoria'smom
 
Thanks for this!
bizi
franz kafka
Poohbah
 
franz kafka's Avatar
franz kafka blesses the rains down in Africa
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: NY
Posts: 1,168
5 yr Member
68 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 02, 2019 at 10:00 PM
  #26
Do you think you need a higher level of care? At times I've needed to be in the more acute ward.

__________________
dx: schizoaffective bipolar type; OCD; GAD
rx: clozapine, clonazepam PRN
franz kafka is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Wander
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 02, 2019 at 10:41 PM
  #27
Quote:
Originally Posted by franz kafka View Post
Do you think you need a higher level of care? At times I've needed to be in the more acute ward.
The thought of being locked up terrifies me. It would add to my trauma. Still, it may get to that if things don’t improve. I am being reviewed later today. This hospital has no locked ward. I would be sent to the state hospital which is an awful place. Thanks though.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bizi, bpcyclist
bizi
Bizi is bizi
 
bizi's Avatar
bizi happines is a decision
 
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,829
15 yr Member
43.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Heart Dec 02, 2019 at 11:50 PM
  #28
do what ever you need to do to be safe.
(((((HUGS)))))
Glad your nurse knows you.
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





bizi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 04:54 AM
  #29
Saw my pdoc. As Clonazepam and Seroquel only work for a short period of time then my anxiety is worse than before he has put me on Haloperidol, and increased the Seroquel. Still freaking out, just in a calmer way.

Had to cancel my T appointment for tomorrow as my pdoc believes I’m not safe to be outside the hospital. He is right. Things are still getting worse. I need it to turn around soon.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bizi, bpcyclist, Innerzone
 
Thanks for this!
bizi, ~Christina
bizi
Bizi is bizi
 
bizi's Avatar
bizi happines is a decision
 
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,829
15 yr Member
43.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Heart Dec 03, 2019 at 08:13 AM
  #30
It sounds like your pdoc is in your corner.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





bizi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 09:13 AM
  #31
Hey, Wander, so very sorry you are struggling like this. Here is to hoping they soon come up with a med combo that really works for you.

I got really sick about ten years ago and they sent me to our state hospital. I was there for a very long time. I was quite scared at first, but as it turned out, the care I received there was quite good, I think. Not sure what state you are in, but just wanted to briefly say that, while they seem to get a very bad rap, not all state hospitals are a nightmare. Some are actually pretty good.

Hope today is a better day for you!!

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
chels127
Member
chels127 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Texas
Posts: 30
3 yr Member
32 hugs
given
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 10:15 AM
  #32
Wander, I want you to know that I'm praying for you right now. I understand how scared you are. Please know that you are COURAGEOUS and STRONG. I know this because it takes tremendous strength and bravery to make arrangements to go inpatient. You DID this, and by doing so you saved a life. Your life. You are very inspiring! Please keep fighting. I know it's so very difficult, but it won't always feel this way. The darkness will finally lift and you will see the light again. Please remember that.

__________________
Bipolar 1, although pdoc now thinks it's possibly BP2. Newly diagnosed Spring 2019.

Current meds:
Seroquel IR 300 mg
Wellbutrin 150 mg XL
Clonazepam .5mg as needed

Supplements: NAC, Fish oil, Multivitamin, Vit. D, Vit B-12, Magnesium, Lithium Orotate, L-Methylfolate, Probiotic, Calcium, Vitamin C, ("Twilight Time" containing L-Theanine, L-Tryptophan, and Melatonin)
chels127 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Wander
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
Anonymous43918
Guest
Anonymous43918 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 10:56 AM
  #33

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much, Wander. I hope this hospitalization helps you out as much as possible, and you made the right choice by going.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 10:57 AM
  #34
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
Hey, Wander, so very sorry you are struggling like this. Here is to hoping they soon come up with a med combo that really works for you.

I got really sick about ten years ago and they sent me to our state hospital. I was there for a very long time. I was quite scared at first, but as it turned out, the care I received there was quite good, I think. Not sure what state you are in, but just wanted to briefly say that, while they seem to get a very bad rap, not all state hospitals are a nightmare. Some are actually pretty good.

Hope today is a better day for you!!
Thanks. I’m in Australia. I have private insurance so am able to go to this private hospital. The state hospital that has a locked ward is notorious for bad experiences, or worse. Although, I have met a few people who found it helpful. I just wish someone would build a private hospital with a locked ward. I guess that might still be a difficult place to be. So far I’m safe with the nurses checking on me every thirty minutes, and are easily accessible to reach out to in between if necessary.

On another note. I had heaps of PRN Seroquel 50 mg a time, Clonazepam 3 mg, and Haloperidol 5 mg. I should be unconscious. I feel wired, but I’m going to try and sleep now as it’s midnight.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
~Christina
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 07:29 PM
  #35

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
cashart10
Grand Magnate
 
cashart10's Avatar
cashart10 is feeling above the sky :)
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
10 yr Member
3,076 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 07:50 PM
  #36
I haven’t read any responses or updates but I just want to say I’m so happy you are safe in the hospital! That’s right where you need to be. You can try to challenge thoughts that you know were lies in the past. If you do that, hopefully you can become well sooner. I wish you a speedy recovery! All my love!

__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
cashart10 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,300 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 07:55 PM
  #37


In hospital - would love support

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
fern46
Grand Magnate
fern46 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 3,021
5 yr Member
4,300 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 08:05 PM
  #38
Good morning Wander. I am sending well wishes and positive thoughts that today will be a better day. How'd you sleep?
fern46 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 08:10 PM
  #39
When I have been a disaster I get put on heavy meds to literally knock me out but despite them it often takes 3-4 days before I finally crash and sleep for 12-14 hours then we would begin to actually start working on finding a combo of meds that help balance me out.

I’m glad your in a safe place with professionals to help you

__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Wander
Wander
Grand Magnate
 
Wander's Avatar
Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 4,746
8 yr Member
2,611 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 03, 2019 at 08:28 PM
  #40
Quote:
Originally Posted by fern46 View Post
Good morning Wander. I am sending well wishes and positive thoughts that today will be a better day. How'd you sleep?
Thanks Fern. Last night I slept three hours then was awake for hours then had a half hour nap before waking up at 6 am. This was with Seroquel and Haloperidol before bed. Maybe I will be able to have a short nap this afternoon. So far today is better than this time yesterday. I still feel awful but maybe today will be a better day. Only 9.30 am here.

__________________
Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD




"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."

'Karma Police' by Radiohead
Wander is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:43 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.