In hospital - would love support

It's amazing for me to think if 110 degrees while we're having cooler weather here in California.

Do you truly feel like going home? Perhaps another day or 2, just to be sure you're stable enough?

Thanks. It can get hot here in the S/W of the county. Well, it gets hot every summer. This is just the beginning too. Thankfully I live on the coast and can go for a swim 5 am as it is still hot. The amount, and intensity, of fires is unprecedented. Fire danger is a big deal here. It is getting much worse too.

Unless I discharge AMA, which causes problems. I am stable wit the Bipolar, its the PTSD thats keeping me stuck. The support I am provided here (meds and people) are amazing. My pdoc will keep looking for non-weight game meds that are affective. Plus he consults with psychiatrists and my T to make sure I get well. This time he is offering me a needle filled with anaesthetist to try and block the fight or flight response. I am feeling better but still on edge, clumsy, and forgetful. I think it is the meds. I have been taking a lot but only Haloperidol works when this agitated. yet, I refuse to give up hope that I will be able to work and use my creative skills for income.

Here is me, rambling on.My T says I am elevated, ad possibly hypomania. My speech and thoughts are fast but in control.

HUS to all who need or want one.

Hi every one!

Yesterday it was approved that I could have 2 hours escorted leave. I foolishly believed it was anyone would escort me, but my pdoc said the leaves only for yesterday. This morning(6 am) I asked a nurse to confirm I had leave for today. It became clear that my pdoc thinks I am too unwell to leave the hospital. He also knows my parents can be a big trigger so can only guess he doesn't want me flipping out while on leave. This is such a complicated situation but I dont have the concentration, and memory issues to explain .

So to put it simply; I want to to the beach. It is going to be 40'C (around 106'F) for the next few days. Normally in these conditions I would go for an early morning, and an early afternoon swim. Watching the sun set around 7.15 pm while immersed in nature is amazing. But no, I am stuck here

YouTube

Until you can get your trip to the beach...

I’m glad your feeling better. My advice is let your Pdoc decide when your ready to go home. Don’t jump the gun. If you are going Hypo it’s best you stay put until your meds can level you out so you’ll not fall back into the hell that brought you IP to begin with. The ocean will be there waiting

Am I reading right that you don't have air conditioning at home??????
bizi

Our start to summer here has been mostly days over 100`F. This is not normal. Heatwaves usually start later.

I long to go home, but this time I am aware I would just be trying to run from my issues. Also I would not be functioning that well. My pdoc hasn't seen me for days so I can't sort out discharge without him. I am having some IP treatment with a needle into my neck which can shut down the sympathetic nervous system, and allow the para-sympathetic system to kick in and calm me down. No major risks.

That will be next Tuesday with the results the following day. If I stay IP I will avoid those doctor fees as with Australian Private Health insurance almost everything on their approved lis, including this. So downside is I will be here another week. However, if I improve significantly I can have un-escorted leave and go for walks etc. I cannot afford it otherwise as OP specialist visits cost hundreds of dollars - and that is after the government pays its bit.

So, here I stay. At least for 6 more days.

While writing this the registrar met with me to discuss how I am, the neck needle being confirmed for Tuesday, and leave options. He has authorised me to have my friend take me to the beach. This wonderful friend lives in the UK and is only here a few weeks. My closest friend don't live near me. The city I live in is actually the most isolated city in the world.

Yes. No air-con at my place. The key is cooing the house at night with fans and airflow. My flat rarely gets over 25`C. I can also walk 5 minutes to go for a swim.

Just please watch out for those critters when you are swimming...

Thanks for your concern. There are deadly octopuses and if you go out far enough seals. I love seeing seals, but I also know what eats them so I quickly swim to shore. I have seen small Reef sharks before, but thankfully they were small and more freaked out by me than I of it. They were only I have swum regularly for years so I know these waters. The big great white sharks are swimming around in there but no one in the history of the area I swim ever been attacked by sharks.

The point is, I know there are deadly animals around the beach and in the water, but it is extremely rare for people to die from them. I think Australia’s dangerous creature reputation is well over-rated.

Saying that , I am always vigilant and aware of hiding places on the nearby reef should I need to escape. It’s never happened, but worth keeping an out for.

Finally, I love snorkeling so much I would rather have a great life with some risks than a secluded life inside.

Sorry I’m posting so often. It helps me gather my thoughts.

Saw my pdoc last night. He is tapering me off of Haloperidol as my vision is starting to go. Pity as Haloperidol is the best med for times like this. I am just hoping a few days off the med and my eyes will be fine. He is also happy for me to have escourted leave as long as I feel safe.

This afternoon I’m hopefully going snorkeling with a friend who is briefly over here from the UK. I’m just hoping I don’t flip out before and get my leave cancelled. I’ve been inside for 11 days now, apart from being taken to see my T. I want my freedom back, but I will remain honest with the staff.

Tomorrow my mum will take me for an early morning swim. Swimming at dawn and dusk is amazing. I’m also putting on weight. Stupid Seroquel. Hopefully I can come off that soon. The problem is I can’t sleep at all without it.

My Dad is home from hospital now. He had heart arrhythmia. After trying intravenous magnesium he was no better so they stopped his heart for a few seconds the issued the defibrillator to jump start it again. It worked. His heart is beating normally now. Amazing how they can stop his heart with no consequences. I’m thrilled is was fixable, and not a heart attack.

Glad that your Dad went out of afib.
That is really good news.
Hoping you are able to get to the beach for a swim with your mom.
take care.....and sending good thoughts!

bizi

Thanks Bizi! My Mum and Dad are babysitting three of my sisters kids. School is over for the year, but my sister is the head of the science department of a private school so she has to be at work today.

This afternoon a friend is going to take me swimming round 5 pm. The UV will be lower then and it will still be hot without any sea breeze today.

I’m still worried about him. Thankfully I’m having an ok day mentally.

I also have to change rooms soon as the teenager next to my door has a delusion that I keep breaking into his room. Last night he opened my door and started accusing me again. I wasn’t scared but it certainly doesn’t help the PTSD. Poor kid is ver ill with schitzophrenia (can’t spell). I was very gentle with him for this reason. I offered to get a nurse and he walked away. This morning I did tell a nurse and the best solution they have is for me to move rooms. So I’m packed, ready to move soon. Hope I have a view this time.

How decent of you to be kind to the kid.

I hope everything is going well for you at this time.

For the next few days I won't post as my eyesight is very blurry. A side effect from the Haloperidol. Stopping it today so I hope I don't fall apart without it. It is sooo frustrating. This post took me 10 minutes to write.

we will be here when You check back in. Hoping that your eyes go right back to normal asap.
hugs to you dear lady.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

I'm late to this thread, so please accept my good wishes for recovery. I'm glad you're getting the help you need, and hope all goes well so you can get out soon.

Found I can see close up better without my glasses so I can type now.

Thanks to everyone for your posts filled with goodness. I’m now happy and chatty so some people think I’m hypomanic. Sigh ... this just the stable me.

Hopefully I will be discharged Thursday if I stay stable and the neck injection goes smoothly. Soooo not looking for that injection. It is huge and is being put into a very sensitive spot. I will be unconscious for the procedure but apparently the neck pain at the sight of injection hurts like a MF when the anaesthesia stops working.

I’m scare to be positive, but I am hopeful I will gain some benefit. I just want to go now. It has always ended badly when I’ve left too early. I hope I feel fine and can go home ASAP.

Also my memory is cactus. Meds? Just the last few days. I’ve been unable to recall what I was talking about halfway through talking. It’s embarrassing. The only med change had been to take less bezos and haloperidol. Good time for my pdoc to take a week of leave. I’m under his registrar for now.

Ironically, I had some other things to cover here but I’ve forgotten them. Doh!

I am so incredibly grateful you have moved out of the paralyzing anxiety and paranoia Wander. What a wonderful shift! This new state comes along with its own set of challenges, but you have survived a very difficult time and I hope you can take some time today to have gratitude for yourself and your strength. I am also glad you made it out for a swim. I know that does so much to restore your spirit.

I know the unknown of this procedure is a lot to process. I think the best you can do is to set an intent that it will work out much better than you could have possibly expected and leave the rest alone. If you've already decided to move forward, your worry will not serve you. Any physical pain you experience will be temporary and cannot be worse than the pain and Hell you just lived through.

I was a total zombie in the hospital. I remember getting a book and reading the same paragraph at least 10 times before I gave up. I couldn't recall any of it. My memory was shot too. It will come back to you in time.

I hope the weekend goes well for you!