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Wander
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Wander exists in a dualistic state...
 
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Default Dec 14, 2019 at 07:49 PM
  #141
Thankyou all for the encouragement, and support. It helps immensely.

Yesterday was good. I went for another swim, and then hung out at my parents house. It was over 40’C (110’F I think). It was the third day in a row over (100’F),and they are predicting more hot weather today. This is a record heatwave for December. Looking like it’s going to be a hot summer.

Last night my mood dipped a little, and I was exhausted. I lay down at 8 am and fell straight to sleep then slept 12 hours straight. This morning I’m groggy from the Seroquel. I hate it. I am hoping I can reduce it tonight to 25 mg(from 50). My mood is low too but I think I’m just exhausted. Today is going to be a sleepy day. I have nothing on thankfully.

I’m still IP, but am hoping to be discharged Thursday. The extreme panic and terror have eased. I just hope when I’m off Haloperidol(weaning off as it effects my vision bad) won’t bring me back to that place of terror. It’s pointless worrying so I am trying to take life moment my moment.

Good news: I feel less triggered by my parents, and this hospital. Maybe that’s why I am suddenly exhausted. I can let my guard down. I cry a lot, but it is a cleansing cry if you know what I mean. My thoughts are still odd, but clearer. My memory is cactus. It’s either because of the benzos, or a combination of them, haloperidol , and Seroquel. Tomorrow I will be able to see the registrar and try to work out what exactly is causing these severe memory issues.

It’s not even 9 am and I want to go back to sleep. Once I’ve had breakfast and done my hip exercises I think I will have a nap. I’m learning to listen to my body. It’s amazing how our mind and body can communicate things like that to us. I used to always push through the exhaustion but today I will let my body rest as much as it needs.

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Default Dec 14, 2019 at 08:16 PM
  #142
It fascinates me, too, how our minds and bodies communicate with us, if we listen.

You've been going through such an extremely rough time, of course you're exhausted. Add the Seroquel to that and it's a wonder you can open your eyes and lift yourself up. I think the 12 hour sleep was therapeutic - at least, it would be for me.

I hope your meeting with the registrar bears fruit.

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Default Dec 14, 2019 at 08:29 PM
  #143
So glad to hear you are feeling better! I hope you can get discharged soon.

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Default Dec 15, 2019 at 01:25 AM
  #144
I’m glad you are doing much better , Yes you are not 100% but you have come so far over really such a short amount of time when you think of how long you suffered before going IP , good timing actually , you can enjoy the AC *one lol way to think of it *

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