[bizi]

Originally Posted by rose1985

I haven't slept. I got up and had a baked potato with light sour cream. I'm doing weight watchers and I'm hungry. I really hope I can stick to this plan. It seems doable.

Since coming off lorazepam my sleep is all messed up. I'm sleeping about 3-6 hours a night. Im going to talk to this new pdoc about it when I see him Friday.

My son is being very ocd. He's constantly washing his hands and having the tv on certain channels. He's also asking me basic questions. Like, should I go to bed etc. He's delusional on and off. We're a mess, lol.

I have so much Christmas shopping to do. It's hard when you're broke. I do what I can and my family is gracious about it.

It snowed last night, ugh. I hate winter. Summer is the season I love. Im hoping we don't get a lot of snow this winter. I'm counting down the days til it ends, lol. Oh well, I'll survive.

I'm gonna try and sleep again. I hope everyone has a good day! Big hugs to those having a hard time.

started on visteril and melatonin to sleep and ear plugs.
Sleep good now.
bizi

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I'm glad you slept too.


He's already looking at other jobs he can do. He'll get a pension but he wants his toys too so he's looking into other jobs.

I’m so glad you got sleep also !

Ahhh good for him! Yes toys cost money !!!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bizi

'

wow!!!9 hours of sleep!!!!
Hopefully the head ache went away.
happy you got a good nights sleep.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

Thanks ! Yes luckily the headache faded. That sleep was amazing

[bpcyclist]

Went to bed at 7ish. Got up after an hour of nothing remotely resembling sleep and cleaned. Got caught up on emails and stuff. Lay back down at around 11 and then finally slept 'till 3. That is very good for me right now. This is just my reality now and I am trying to accept it. I find that not accepting reality is a ticket to stress.

Just checked the radar and it looks like there is a crease in the rain for a little bit. I'm gonna get my gear on and try to get out in in for 90 minutes or so.

Despite my shocking sleep deficit, I do not seem to be really psychotic or manic at the moment. Watching this very closely. I have spent many, many Christmas dinners in the hospital. Don't want to do that again.

Sending support, calm, and safe hugs to everyone. It's a tough time of year. Hang in there!!

[fern46]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I finally got sleep ! 9 hours ! Woke to a horrible headache but it’s lifting and I feel a internal calmness again that I have been lacking for a long time because of the insomnia.

Hugs to all ~

Christina, nine hours is great! I hope your headache is now gone and you feel beautifully rested.

bpcyclist, enjoy your bike ride! Whenever I think of you, I imagine you riding with a nice breeze blowing past you.

Tomorrow I plan to make the very last of my Czech Christmas cookies for my Czech Christmas cookies post series. I also plan to make some marzipan, which I will use to make little marzipan hedgehogs. Once I've done this, I will post one additional post that shows just the photos of each cookie/confection with accompanying descriptions and links to the recipe posts. All have been made, photographed, and have tweaked recipes that include US and European ingredient measurements. There will be 10 total cookie recipes/confections, plus a Christmas sweet bread recipe. This has been quite a big project! Frankly, I'll be glad when it is over. That won't stop my Christmas cookie baking, though. I will likely make a couple more that I didn't make this year, but are already represented on my blog. Then, I will likely end the culinary posts and go back to posting about mental health issues, reflections, prose poetry, other articles, and stories.

Today we go to Philly for my hubby's regular eye exam. I hate these appointments, because they last almost 2 hours each time. The drive to Philly is also unpleasant.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by rose1985

I really hope you can get into this new apt. It sounds great!

All that reading is awesome. I used to read all the time too. Since I went through a psychosis, I've had a hard time reading. So cool that you can read better! You always seem so positive. Glad you got the laundromat out of the way too.

Thank you! I hope so too, it's a great opportunity.

I've also experienced issues with reading after having gone through several psychotic episodes, I guess some long lasting cognitive issues are result of that, it took a long time for my reading to get back to where it used to be, being stable for a long period of time has helped.

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Really hope that apartment works out for you. That sounds like a fairly unique place. At least around here, I am not aware of any complexes that have that kind of structure or whatever to help one stay on track. I wish we did.

Thanks! Hopefully it does, it seems like a great program I wish there were more places like it available for people

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by rose1985

Well I slept about 2 hours. I'm excited tho, I saw my therapist and we're going to do a cbt fear ladder about my bathing. It sounds like it might work. I so hope it does. Having this horrible anxiety about bathing just makes me want to isolate bc I don't want to go out in public not bathed.

I'm gonna make egg salad sandwiches with cut up apples for dinner. We have a ton of eggs.

So far I'm following my eating plan.

Hope everyone is well. If you're struggling, know this too shall pass.

Hope you're able to get some more sleep. I've read about cbt fear ladders in some of my cbt workbooks, I hope it helps you

I just set up some Nest security cameras in my apartment.

When I first moved in, someone tried to steal stuff from me. (It was during the moving process, too.) Then about 6 months ago, I saw some guy casually walking up and down the hallway grabbing onto everyone's door handles and wiggling them. I didn't recognize him. Now someone random was rattling my handles. I'm not sure if they mistook the apartment for theirs or if it was someone else who was trying to see if I left my door open. So I just said, "f*** it. I'll just keep my place safe."

I'm glad these cameras have so many features, such as being able to tell when you're away, taking high-res photos of people who break in, and sending alerts when there is movement while you're gone. Should also be helpful when maintenance comes in because it should help prevent theft (or at least capture the theft on video). I got them on sale from B&H.

Anyway, mood is pretty good. Neither up nor down, but juuuuust right.

I have therapy tomorrow and I have a lot of things to talk about. I hope I'm able to talk through everything in the short period of time I have (35 mins).

Originally Posted by bizi

started on visteril and melatonin to sleep and ear plugs.
Sleep good now.
bizi

Thanks for the idea. I'm already on the max dose of visteral. I'm also on trazadone and Zyprexa for sleep. It's slowly improving. I'm glad you're sleeping well.

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Hope you're able to get some more sleep. I've read about cbt fear ladders in some of my cbt workbooks, I hope it helps you

Thank you! I finally slept. I'm hoping the fear ladders work too.

[Blue_Bird]

Made plans to hang out with my friend tomorrow.

Even after a few months it still feels weird to be so stable. Normally 99% of the time I'd be caught up with paranoid delusions and auditory hallucinations most of the day every day, now that most of my symptoms are gone for the first time in many years I'm almost at a loss for what to do with myself, I know that sounds weird lol I guess I was just always so preoccupied and in my own world that time passed quickly.. or didn't exist for me.

Bought an apple pie and french vanilla ice cream to have around Christmas I'm really looking forward to the holidays!

Hope everyone is well

Another day -- they've got to get better, right?

[Nammu]

Getting nervous. The clinic is supposed to call to tell me what time to show up tomorrow morning for that scope procedure. No call so I called them,....it rand and rang,...rand.....rang. I'd like to know what time to get up.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Made plans to hang out with my friend tomorrow.


Even after a few months it still feels weird to be so stable. Normally 99% of the time I'd be caught up with paranoid delusions and auditory hallucinations most of the day every day, now that most of my symptoms are gone for the first time in many years I'm almost at a loss for what to do with myself, I know that sounds weird lol I guess I was just always so preoccupied and in my own world that time passed quickly.. or didn't exist for me.


Bought an apple pie and french vanilla ice cream to have around Christmas I'm really looking forward to the holidays!


Hope everyone is well

I am so happy that your having such positive stability !!!!!! Ohhhh Apple pie and ice cream one of my favorites !!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Getting nervous. The clinic is supposed to call to tell me what time to show up tomorrow morning for that scope procedure. No call so I called them,....it rand and rang,...rand.....rang. I'd like to know what time to get up.

Geeeezzzz I would think they would call as a reminder? Hope you hear something soon Did you get some sleep ??

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Tomorrow I plan to make the very last of my Czech Christmas cookies for my Czech Christmas cookies post series. I also plan to make some marzipan, which I will use to make little marzipan hedgehogs. Once I've done this, I will post one additional post that shows just the photos of each cookie/confection with accompanying descriptions and links to the recipe posts. All have been made, photographed, and have tweaked recipes that include US and European ingredient measurements. There will be 10 total cookie recipes/confections, plus a Christmas sweet bread recipe. This has been quite a big project! Frankly, I'll be glad when it is over. That won't stop my Christmas cookie baking, though. I will likely make a couple more that I didn't make this year, but are already represented on my blog. Then, I will likely end the culinary posts and go back to posting about mental health issues, reflections, prose poetry, other articles, and stories.


Today we go to Philly for my hubby's regular eye exam. I hate these appointments, because they last almost 2 hours each time. The drive to Philly is also unpleasant.

Oh your cookies !!!!!! Yummmy !!!!

I love seeing them, I am just not a good baker, I tried for years and finally just admitted defeat lol

I know you dread the trip for your husbands eye appts , I hope it all goes well. Did you head out to that cafe you found last trip ??!

Are you feeling better today ??

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I just set up some Nest security cameras in my apartment.


When I first moved in, someone tried to steal stuff from me. (It was during the moving process, too.) Then about 6 months ago, I saw some guy casually walking up and down the hallway grabbing onto everyone's door handles and wiggling them. I didn't recognize him. Now someone random was rattling my handles. I'm not sure if they mistook the apartment for theirs or if it was someone else who was trying to see if I left my door open. So I just said, "f*** it. I'll just keep my place safe."


I'm glad these cameras have so many features, such as being able to tell when you're away, taking high-res photos of people who break in, and sending alerts when there is movement while you're gone. Should also be helpful when maintenance comes in because it should help prevent theft (or at least capture the theft on video). I got them on sale from B&H.


Anyway, mood is pretty good. Neither up nor down, but juuuuust right.


I have therapy tomorrow and I have a lot of things to talk about. I hope I'm able to talk through everything in the short period of time I have (35 mins).

Oh Blue I’m sorry that you have trouble with someone wandering around checking doors scary !!!

It’s good you invested into security cameras that will give you some peace of mind

I hope that you can get everything out in therapy, I know sometimes I run out of time.