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Red face Feb 21, 2020 at 11:07 PM
  #101
Maybe I am just borderline?
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Default Feb 21, 2020 at 11:09 PM
  #102
Why do you think that?

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Red face Feb 21, 2020 at 11:35 PM
  #103
because I have such terrible boundary issues.
and the way my therapist sort of cut me off on the phone. I felt some paranoia she spoke to my pdoc....and rejection....

and now I feel so much more normal again...
maybe the higher dose of tegretol is going to work out after all?

maybe the hypomania makes me seem like a borderline?
I don't know....
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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Feb 21, 2020 at 11:50 PM
  #104
If you still feel this way when you get stabilized then you definitely should bring it up with your therapist. Mid-episode I don't think it is possible to correctly diagnose borderline vs. bipolar. But for what it is worth I've read and been told that most people with bipolar have some borderline traits. I honestly think that most people period have some borderline traits.

Your therapist may have been in a hurry when she called you. It probably had nothing to do with you. If she talked to your pdoc without your permission that is a problem but do you have evidence of that?

Keep trying to take things slowly. I know that's really hard but it will get you through this.

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Red face Feb 22, 2020 at 12:13 AM
  #105
When I could not get a hold of my therapist I called a friend of mine who is a licensed social worker. And I asked her if I could talk to her for her professional advice. She replied she could talk to me as a friend.
I simply replied thanks. I never called her.....

She has not called to check up on me, I told her I was hypomanic.

That night I called My therapist ended up talking with me on texting on my phone for almost an hour.....that was really nice of her...but did I manipulate her for her attention?
I am questioning my actions and motives.
sigh
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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Feb 22, 2020 at 12:22 AM
  #106
My therapist doesn't offer a lot of extras. No texts, no emails and I think I've talked to him on the phone between sessions twice in 14 years. But I remember back in the beginning he offered to come in for an hour to see me on his day off. I was so uncomfortable doing that but he finally told me it was his job and if he was offering he could handle doing it. That has let me accept help with other things over all these years. I'm sure it is true for your therapist too.

I'm sorry about your LSW friend not checking on you. Maybe she felt a real dilemma about knowing how you were feeling and wanting to act both as a friend and as an LSW those conflicted?

I'm getting hazy from clozapine so I'm getting off here before I start saying things that don't make sense but I'll be thinking of you. It's going to be a late night for me tonight but I reach a point where I'm not good at typing what I mean.

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Heart Feb 22, 2020 at 10:36 AM
  #107
@BeyondtheRainbow
Thank you for your support.
I appreciate you getting back to me. I slept well last night on my meds and the cbd. Went to bed at 1230 and got up at 915am.
Making a pot of coffee.
My world seems pretty small right now.
I just have billing and other paperwork to do this weekend.
I was going to work but don't think I should. will see how it goes.
Hope you slept well.
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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 22, 2020 at 11:14 AM
  #108
MIL is still in the hospital. She is 87 years old and on a walker.
With a suctioning...NG(Nasogastro tube) tube which was horrible putting in....they decompressed her stomach and turned it back she had been blocked 180 degree flip....that was why she was vomiting!
They dislocated her jaw while trying to do the endoscopy. poor thing...it took an expert 7 hours to get it back into place. She was in and out of it partially sedated. Then it popped out of place again so they taped her jaw shut she can barely talk but is loving the ice water that she is allowed to drink now.
I tried to call last night out side of trivia and talked to brian. I don';t know if she can talk on the phone or not. I was given a code to speak to medical staff about her condition when ever I want...not sure I should call or not in my condition.
She likes all of her doctors and is getting good care. Her other son Brian has been visiting often and is looking after her cat. Thank goodness he is unemployed right now and can help her, and he only lives minutes away from her house. The cat gets fed twice a day. The hospital is 25 minutes away though.
I feel so sorry for her.
I have been so wrapped up in my hypomania self....there has been time for little else. The fact that I am insightful means I am not manic right?

Having a second cup of weak coffee. My world feels pretty small....feeling self absorbed.
I was going to see some clients this afternoon...not sure yet.
See how I feel after lunch.
I can do paperwork tomorrow.
Jeff Is off monday thru wed for mardi gras, he has been ill with a
cold and a fever but feels better today. Yesterday I felt like maybe I was coming down with something,
but today I feel pretty good.
Monday is the queens parade and king cake party after that.
I work monday, lite day...see robin at 2pm...I think I have 2 people that day.
Off tuesday for mardi gras. then full day on wednesday and the rest of the week.

hope you guys don't mind me sharing here.
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 22, 2020 at 05:22 PM
  #109
well I am manic now, I am waiting a call back from the doctor, some one who I have never seen before. Dr. Diggs.

so am having to limit my computer usage. over the next 3 days. I have to get well before wednesday...my next regular work day.
but Jeff may need to leave to go to indy if his mom has surgery.

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Feb 22, 2020 at 05:42 PM
  #110
Thoughts and prayers.....

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Red face Feb 22, 2020 at 08:10 PM
  #111
He ordered 10mg of zyprexa. at night.
I think we will watch a movie tonight.
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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Feb 22, 2020 at 08:26 PM
  #112
Hopefully it works fast.

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Default Feb 22, 2020 at 08:31 PM
  #113
Were you able to get it to start tonight or do you have to wait for tomorrow?
A movie sounds good.

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Red face Feb 22, 2020 at 10:21 PM
  #114
I took, 3 year old 20mg at 3:30pm
I am very tired so that is a good sign.
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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Feb 22, 2020 at 10:27 PM
  #115
Tired is good. I hope you sleep well and feel better tomorrow. Seems like my pdoc told me zyprexa works fast. I hope it does for you.

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Unhappy Feb 23, 2020 at 08:41 AM
  #116
got up at 730 to pee.
Did not sleep well due to restless legs from the zyprexa.
I should not be on line. maybe go back to bed and try to rest some more.
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__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 23, 2020 at 12:03 PM
  #117
Good morning,
well
it is difficult to come out with the words....
and typing is slow.
We won't know until tomorrow if marysue needs to have surgery.

jeff will fly home for a few days for that.
Really bad timing but life happens.
I am wondering how long the zyprexa will stake to work?

it is 3 years old.

The on call doctor said he wanted to hear from me today...
to see how I was doing.....

I have laundry to do today too....and billing and charting!
bizi

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Red face Feb 23, 2020 at 04:33 PM
  #118
just got off the phone with the on call dr. diggs.
I am to take visteril 50mg 2-3 times a day for agitation.(I am extremely impatient and easily agitated ) I just took 50mg of visteril.
Zyprexa should be ready for pick up at 4pm.
The pharmacist said that she did not think that there was any effictiveness to the 20mg of zyprexa that I took last night....sigh
I see Robin my therapist tomorrow at 2pm.....
I am supposed to call dr. diggs after I see her.
Am waiting to hear back about marysues possible surgery .....early this week....
If Jeff flies home that will leave me alone....
my friend kay thinks the zyprexa is going to take 3 days to bring me down.
I am to start working again wednesday.
It is 3;30 and I need to go pick up my zyprexa from the pharmacy, they are open until 4pm.
bizi going to some friends house for dinner....I forgot we are doing that.

__________________
150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Heart Feb 23, 2020 at 06:26 PM
  #119
Thank you for your support @BeyondtheRainbow!
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Feb 23, 2020 at 11:07 PM
  #120
Oh Bizi I’m sorry things are a mess right now.

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