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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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#21
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I have found the ''providers'' in my forest to be worse than useless They slam wrong labels on and treat people who are in pain with disdain. __________________ |
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giddykitty, Wild Coyote
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giddykitty, Wild Coyote
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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#22
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Lucky my urgent care ("ER") visit went well, but they'll give me a big hassle about paying the bill, which will likely be expensive and require me to go pay in person. It's such a pain in the butt! Did manage to get stuff done today though. Figured out an alternative dinner and I rescheduled my appointment. I'll have to plea for the mercy of my GP to refill my prescriptions one more time though since the new appointment is over a month away. :/ __________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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bizi, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
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#23
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Well you might like your GP but GP’s simply don’t have enough education to prescribe more than an AD to someone who appears to have garden variety depression. Sure coming here and receiving enormous amount of responses is all good but .... no one here can diagnose you of course. But with so many threads and posting in the check in thread it is very difficult to follow , hopefully if this is the thread you have decided to use from now on. You have been reading about struggles that many members and myself included ., have and talk about medications and personal experience. Maybe your learning a lot about BP ..but your not learning about YOUR bipolar You need a Pdoc. Your GP is not going to be able to Treat Bipolar. He/she just can’t. Yes we all make an appt with a Pdoc and hope we find a good one, thinking your going to just waste money is not a reason to just hop skip and jump along your unstable life certainly isn’t any way to live. Surely you want to enjoy life, find a job you enjoy, have fun times with your husband.., I’m sure he wants you to feel better.. I imagine he’s very concerned about you. Phone calls are tough for a lot of people but honestly when you need to make necessary calls just grab the phone and it will be over with. Your GP if your worried about your monthly being a problem then call and just say “ I’d like an appt in 2 weeks “ done , no longer a stress. Anyway I’m glad you have this thread and hopefully you will continue to receive lots of support __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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bizi, bpcyclist, giddykitty, Wild Coyote
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*Beth*, giddykitty, Innerzone, Wild Coyote
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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Location: United States
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#24
Copied from the check in thread.
Really hate myself right now. I can't sleep because of crap weighing on my mind. I need to get this out. So many of you have suggested therapy/seeing a pdoc to me. Well, this is actually a hot button issue. You see, I've tried it and while I had someone to listen to me at a particularly difficult time in my life, I was ultimately paying someone to just listen to me talk. I could do that here and get better feedback! Second therapist was a little more extreme in the other manner. Talked about herself too much and spoke slowly too so it wasted my precious time. Third therapist (same clinic as first) was for DBT. Only went 4 sessions before we came to the conclusion that this wasn't helping me. First of all, the stuff was like common sense to me. I was already doing similar things from yoga meditation in the past as well as my hubby s logical advices (he may lack emotional empathy, but he's very logical which helps me think less "borderline" like). Anyway, oh and we also canceled because I couldn't do certain exercises for x, y, and z reasons. Moving on to the pdoc. As I mentioned already (in my journal thread), I'd spend hours trying to set appointments, wait in the waiting room and only get like 10minutes of time to talk and we'd discuss the same b crap every time. Other than getti g my meds, it was not worth it. Waste of tons of time and money because I'd have to make an appointment for EVERY refill! My GP can do this over the phone. So, while I don't value the thoughtful advice, it just may not work for me. Oh yes, and the fact that I don't really have a ride to go there anymore either. And that it frustrated the heck out of my husband because he wasn't seeing any progress (not that there necessarily wasn't progress, but he pays the bills and wanted to see progress. I can at least understand that.) Anyway, so yeah, just know that this is why I'm super anxious about my next meeting with my GP because he also seems to be hinti g at therapy too and I privately messaged him that it did help some. He already knows my husband's feelings on the matter. I'm anxious about talking about some of the things that are bothering me about my marriage as well, because it might come as a shock to my husband...although I've tried to tell him things many times. There is one thing though that I haven't yet addressed and I've finally figured out exactly what I need (I think). It's one of the love languages. He doesn't show me love like I need it. He shows me how he needs it. He's very stubborn about this, but I need to make him understand the importance... Sigh! Ok, I think I'm talked out. __________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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#25
Quote:
I did make the phone call, for the record. It got pushed back another month now, but maybe that gives me more time to prepare. (Lost my train of thought but moving on) I can't always get an appointment date I like, like he was booked up for the whole month, which is why I have to wait another month now. And it's that way with all doctors. It's very stressful to me. And my period bad days aren't pinpoint accurate so that makes like a possible 2 week window closed for me every month which it's crazy because I really only suffer two or three days each month. Anyway, I do take to heart what you are saying and do understand it. I still thi k journaling right now is sufficient, but I mean maybe my GP will say otherwise too. That is what I'm both anxious and nervous about but like I also trust that he has my best Interest at heart and he does in fact know his limitations so it's all good, but I just worry about the stress it will bring on my husband and our marriage. Again, as stated in previous message, Uhhh, lost my thought again. Oops! (Oh, btw, have I said thank you yet?) But I think you get the gist. My high moods aren't necessarily very troublesome... *****except for my lack of ability to sleep due to these racing thoughts and impulsive need to post my thoughts every night, here, there, or wherever my attention has focused for the day. Sigh! :/ __________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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~Christina
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Legendary Wise Elder
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~Christina
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#26
Your welcome , I hope you find the help in whatever form it is you need
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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giddykitty
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giddykitty
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Gabyunbound
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#27
Hi Giddykitty
In one of your posts, you said that you had done some DBT specifically for BPD. Were you diagnosed with that by a previous pdoc or T? __________________ Bipolar 1 Lamictal: 400 mg Latuda: 60mg Klonopin: 1 mg Propranolol: 10 mg Zoloft: 100 mg Temazepam: 15 mg Zyprexa 5-10mg prn (for Central Pain Syndrome: methadone 20 mg; for chronic back pain: meloxicam 15 mg; for migraines: prochlorperazine prn) |
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giddykitty
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
body, spirit.
Member Since: Jul 2019
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#28
Some people who refuse to work with a psychiatrist have a disorder called "factitious disorder." I'm not saying you have it, just suggesting that you might read about it. Please don't rely upon online tests to diagnose yourself. I have never seen even one of those tests that are accurate enough to diagnose.
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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#29
Did DBT for BPD traits. But no, I wasn't actually diagnosed with it. Came back negative. Oddly, testing came back with results of traits of dependant personality disorder, but I think that's just because I physically depend so much on my husband and by life choices I've made. I don't seem to relate much to the experiences I've read from other sufferers. I'm not like afraid to be away from my husband when he has to go to work for instance. And yeah, the DBT wasn't really doing much for me like how others have described it to cope with their emotions. I think I do relatively fine...i think.
__________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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#30
Quote:
Possible trigger:
I feel like I've had my diagnosis and I followed up with the pdoc for like at least a year. Probably could get reassessed, but I'd have to find a better pdoc. __________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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Raindropvampire
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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#31
Wow! This really has me thinking about my past again. I was also suffering from a brief period of eating disorder at the time (of college) too
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__________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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Victoria'smom
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#32
giddykitty I've been through over 15 therapists most of them too squeamish and squishy to help me. My current one is okay when I'm healthy and doesn't know how to help when things are bad. I've learned to stick to terms and not go into details. Honestly it helps to know I'm too sick. I'm able to pretend well. The thing that helped me the most is having a therapist that wasn't squeamish and I could write to. it took me a year and a psychotic break to trust her. Keep trying to find someone that you click with well enough that they can help.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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#33
Quote:
I hope you find someone you click with giddykitty __________________ |
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giddykitty, yellow_fleurs
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giddykitty
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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#34
Another good day today! Although I did just email my GP with my concerns anyway. So at least he'll have a heads up on some of the recent developments and I won't have to be so nervous about sharing them all or forgetting the important stuff. Still nervous about what my husband's reaction to all of this is going to be. He too is concerned about how much time I spend online...
But I feel good guys! Really! I just hate that I seem to always disappoint somebody no matter what I do! :/ __________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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yellow_fleurs
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#35
Giddykitty, I can kind of relate to your search to figure out what's going on, as my situation has not been super clear and I am prone to ruminate and obsess a bit. Do you relate to being a bit obsessive, too? You mentioned the OCD tendencies which is part of why I asked. I think it makes sense you want to figure things out, but as other have suggested do try to strike a balance if you can. This stuff can take time. My therapist said she's learned you cannot make a diagnosis on the first appointment and need time to really get to know someone. I think it can be especially tough if more than one thing might be going on at the same time. I also want to encourage you to not give up on therapy just because you didn't find the right fit in the past. I have found therapy useless in the past, but finding my current therapist helpful because of her skills and way that she communicates. I hope you get the help you need! You deserve to feel better.
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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#36
After coming down from the high yesterday and some of the different responses I've gotten from people lately, I'm beginning to doubt a bipolar2 dx again... Maybe I truly do suffer from MDD, but with these few weeks a month of elevated moods?? Gonna keep on tracking though to see if this pattern continues. I don't know that I've done anything outrageous, unless you count my "constant" analysis of this. (I don't know that I'd consider it constant...although maybe it is right now. I dunno!) Anyway, all I know is a lot of things suck, but at the same time, a lot of things are good. I like this perspective as a goal towards normalcy, to be able to strike a balance between "things could be better" and "things could be worse". I feel that way right now, but last night I was feeling sorry for myself and thinking more on how they could be better. I wonder if that also has to do with my extrovertism and my need to socialize but that the opportunity diminishes at night...lately. although tonight hubby and I will be visiting my family, so there will be some socializing then. But we might not stay long and one can never predict whether it will be an entirely pleasant visit or whether there will be discomfort/stress. :/ But I guess we will find out!
__________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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#37
It's a great idea to keep tracking moods.
Stop in here, but don't let this (PC) be your focus, if you can help it. I tend to think keeping PC as a high priority might even skew some of your mood chart info. I don't mean to imply you are not doing other things in life. I am just encouraging you to keep doing so and maybe do so even more? The more data you have for a professional providers, the better they can help you, or so that is the hope. After reading through your thread(s), I think it would potentially be extremely helpful if you could write in a journal, too. It is possible the journal entries could later be paired with the mood chart and one might gain more insights into what goes on for you and just how to help you! Have fun tonight! __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. |
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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#38
Well, it's been about a week I guess and there really isn't very much to report. I've not been extreme either way. Actually, I've not been anything either way. Like, I think I'm at my "normal" or ideal.
Still online socializing a lot though. It helps my mood, but I don't do a whole lot of much else. I try harder during the week though. And try harder on my sleep schedule during the week too. Last night I stayed up until 3am so I could chat with a friend, after spending the day out at a party. Didn't get up till 12:30pm today. But like I said, it was a weekend day, so I feel I deserve a break from it all once in awhile. But tomorrow it's back to regular schedule. Aim to be up by 10am. Another plan for tomorrow is to make a quick trip to the grocery store for ...oops! I'd better remember it! And then stop by the house I'm kitty sitting for. I am excited to see the "babies", and I hope to enjoy a bit of Netflix while there too. Wish my regular Netflix shows would come out again now though, but I'm sure I'll find something. __________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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bizi
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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#39
So it seems after about a week of being pretty stable, my mood is beginning to drop again this evening. I'm going to take a closer look at how my moods fluctuate during the day now because tomorrow morning i could be perfectly fine again. I dont know. Anyway, thanks for reading!
__________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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Grand Poohbah
giddykitty
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#40
So, I observed that it took me 3.5hours with no breaks to go through most of my regular online routine this morning. That's crazy! And that doesn't even include FB or a couple of other forums (although they don't update as much). So, to counter this, I decided to try to stay offline for that same amount of time. Well, I think I did pretty good. Not quite 3.5, but 3 hours is still good. My prior record was 2hrs (while awake and not on vacation), so there's improvement. Still haven't managed to get 3 hours of work in yet though. (cooking doesn't count), um, but I've got a few other things I could still do today...if cooking doesn't take up the rest of my time. geez! it just might!...Well, my self imposed lunch break is about over, so I have to stop writing now.
__________________ Celexa (Citalopram) 20mg Levothyroxine .75mg Liothyronine 5MCG (2x daily) Probiotics And a whole slew of vitamin and herbal supplements. |
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bpcyclist
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